10 Ways to Be Fearless and Just. Fucking. Trust!
I realised yesterday that I’ve really NOT being the fearless badass chick I would like to think of myself as being. Matter of fact … if I’m being totally honest with you, and I really do try to be (but sometimes I just don’t even know my own mind, y’know?!) … I’m pretty fucking wussy a lot of the time.
I worry constantly about what people will think –
If I’m doing enough –
Giving enough –
Am enough – !
I know I present this out there full on over the top confident image online and I know I DO actually do a lot of stuff that I guess is on the surface pretty fearless, pretty evident of me actively CHOOSING my reality.
And I do. I do choose my reality.
But a lot of the time I choose to put uncertainty ahead of trusting in ME and what I know is right for me and ultimately also how I know I can most help you and unleash MY awesome into the world!
How much of the time, when I say a lot?
Enough that I notice, and that’s too much for me.
Doesn’t matter whether it’s once a day or once a week if you KNOW you are in any way NOT fully shining your light or if you’re being guided by ‘what if’ or by trying to ‘do the right thing’ then you’re NOT really playing all out, are you?
And since my whole freaking message is press play, that’d make ME for one a crazy crazy silly little scared bitch. In a nice way.
Soooo … I’ve been thinking about fearlessness.
I was talking yesterday with my incredible kinesiologist and we had the realisation that the last time I was FULLY fearless in what I was doing, and fully TRUSTED in the value of what I do and just let loose and WAS loose (not like that okay!!) and just showed up every day having a great time, being me, working my ass off because of the LOVE of it and never WORRYING about what anybody thought of me because I BELIEVED in me was when I was managing a pool hall /nightclub back in the good ole town of Knox (those in the know … YOU know!) when I was 18 / 19 years old.
Honestly I look back on that time of basically being irresponsible – I walked away from Uni and my at the time lifelong dream (one of ’em) of being a lawyer, and worked at a pool hall for fucks sake! I wore a blonde Barbie style wig and called myself Melanie! Because I somehow got more tips with the wig and persona. lol. My hair was dark brown then … I was also very shy naturally, very introverted, no way at ALL the cool chick who I like to think I am now! I had a lot to prove. But when I was in that bar … I was on fire. I KNEW I was fucking awesome at what I was doing, I knew I was the fastest, the best, I CARED THE MOST.
Which was maybe a good or a bad thing, who knows, but whatever it was it was FUN. I felt free. I felt in the zone. I LIKED working my ass off and then I liked hanging out partying drinking whatever, nothing ott just having a good time with the other bar peeps. I felt like I belonged, was accepted, was valued because I was valuing MYSELF first and foremost and I BELIEVED in myself. I used to often suggest extra things I could do – like creating special holiday promotions – to the owners and then bill them for the extra hours I put in. I totally just told them, owned it, expected it to work … and it did.
I often think of that time in my life as one of the best times of my life and I’ve always thought it was because it was just being young and cool and whatever and exploring life a bit but I realise now it was because I was being ME and owning my awesome. Not questioning whether I was good enough. Not questioning whether people would like me. Not questioning whether others would value my work. I knew I was rocking it!
And yesterday I started thinking – when was the last time I FULLY owned my awesome?
(Same question for you by the way m’dear!)
The truth is that as much as I DO know I am pretty good at putting the ‘real me’ out there and I do act PRETTY well from alignment there is still an element of THINKING about it too much which I feel is holding me back.
The problem with this of course, is that how do you ‘fix’ or improve something if the inherent issue is in fact too much thinking about how to fix or improve it!
You see my dilemna.
The more you think about how to be in alignment the more you are likely to do a VERSION or some sort of a MIRROR of you just BEING in alignment.
It’s like that whole saying that goes around … you don’t be authentic by trying to be authentic! You be authentic by just BEING. You be you by just BEING, not by asking yourself how you can be more you!
Am I the only one confused here???!
I think I’m kinda getting it though …
If I think back to that time of freedom and fun back in the pool hall days I NEVER thought about how I could do a good job or whether I was doing it right; I just DID. I just went with the flow! I wanted to wear a blonde wig, so I did! I wanted to dress in a catsuit one day, so I did! I wanted to fly around the bar at a million miles an hour doing 10 drinks in the time everyone else did 1 (and also breaking 10x as many glasses I must admit) and so I DID, because I just FELT like it.
When was the last time you just did what you FELT like doing for an entire day in your biz?
How about a week?
A month?!
Not freaking likely, right? Too many RESPONSIBILITIES, too many things to worry about, too many questions to ask!
Asking questions is good. It helps us to become aware of what is working and what we want more of, and of what our greatest desires and dreams are. But it’s critical to ask the RIGHT questions, and here is where I think the ‘trick’ to all of this lies:
Don’t ask questions about what you should DO in order to achieve an outcome, ask questions about how you need to FEEL to achieve that outcome.
Like if I ask myself what I should DO to be fearless, I straight away take the ability to be fearless away from myself anyway because I’m trying to put a formula to something that is very much heart and soul-driven!
So instead I ask myself – or did ask myself this morning in my journaling, which is what this post is based on (as always!) – how would I FEEL if I were ALREADY being truly fearless.
And here is what I came up with.
10 Ways to Be TRULY Fearless and Just. Fucking. Trust!
1. Don’t think, ask, hope or try – just do. Just decide what you want to do and how it will be, and do it. No need to question or wonder, just follow your inner ‘this feels right’ radar.
2. On program creation – do what feels fun, cool, interesting, exciting. Rather than asking ‘what should I sell’ or what WOULD sell create based on what you TOTES wanna do because how freaking awesome it would be!
3. Show up to have a great time each day. Come into your biz time with the intent that it’s going to be freaking rockin’ because der – why the hell wouldn’t it be!
4. If you’re feeling vulnerable, be vulnerable. If you’re feeling sad, be sad. If you feel like an on fire crazy-ass mofo who is making NO freaking sense but having an awesome time, be that! BE WHO YOU ARE.
5. Tell the truth. Back in my bar girl days – being the behind the bar therapist I was – I had no qualms about telling people exactly what I thought was going on and what shit they needed sorted. Whether or not they took my sage advice, who cares? I was telling the TRUTH not something I thought people wanted to hear or expected to hear and you can’t get any more fearless than just being damn honest! Interestingly enough it is when you be TOTALLY honest and ‘just you’ that you will attract your true tribe.
6. Assume things will work. Of course they will work. It’s you! You’re awesome! You rock at this shit! And if it doesn’t, who cares? Onwards and upwards because you were born for success and you know it!
7. Have fun with it. Selling something? Doing it in a way that makes you smile not grimace or feel slightly ashamed or feel scared. Just tell people what you have and why it’s so cool and why they gotta get it and be on your way!
8. Do stuff you totally know you rock and that feels awesome for you. Do it ALL OUT as though the whole world were already hanging off your every word!
9. Do stuff because it feels right but also because you just feel like why the hell not? Business is about exploration and trying new things as much as anything; nothing matters so much that it’s a life or death choice so just give it a go, have fun with it, put your true energy and soul into it, and see what comes of it!
10. Realise trust is a choice. Non-conformity is a choice. Being you is a choice! If you find yourself second-guessing, questioning, feeling uncomfortable or as though it’s just plain old not fun then it is probably you trying to follow the rules rather than simply BEING. So shake it off, laugh at yourself about it if need be, and then make a conscious decision to get back to just doing what feels right and fun and free for you.
One final thing I want to cover on all of this.
I realise that reading all of the above may well sound all very good and light-hearted and free and fun but hey, we’re not working in a bar here, this is BUSINESS, this is for REAL, right?! How the hell is just doing whatever you please and hanging out having a great time gonna make you money? How can you trust in that?! Shouldn’t you be more … organised? Adult? Or something?!
Well, this is where you CHOOSE to trust. Like I said in #10, trust is a choice. But also realise this – yes you COULD very well build a business by following the rules and you will attract a certain type of clientele who expect certain types of things from you if you do that.
If you just do you, all out, some people WON’T like you, they WILL think you’re irresponsible or they plain old won’t get it.
SO WHAT.
Either way some people won’t like you. So doesn’t it make more sense that you actively JUST BE YOU and attract in the clients and community who think the real you is a pretty cool chick? Doesn’t it also make sense that if you WERE truly fearless you’d probably come up with some extra-creative cool VERY much based on your true talents and gifts stuff, that’s likely to be WAY more successful than the boring, bland, samey-same vanilla cupcake BS you come up with when you’re following and conforming?
Just some food for thought. Stuff I FULLY believe in mind you! But most of all this-
Why not just choose a path where you get to have a damn good time doing it?
Just makes more sense. Up to you of course!
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