Purpose

A MILLION WAYS TO A MILLION DOLLARS. BUT ONLY ONE WAY TO BE YOU.

I learned at a young age that there are a million ways to make a million dollars.

It took me some years after that to figure out that there is only one way though, to be who I am really meant to be.

It took me a few more years still to cotton on to the fact that a pretty high percentage of people who do make a million dollars or more? Have done it at the COST of being who they truly are. You know – the version of them they dream of being, yearn to be, LONG to be. And were always meant to be.

It took me a few extra years beyond even THAT to figure out that actually the money thing and the being you thing is MEANT to go hand in hand. Like, what?! I don’t have to choose? Fuck yes!

The truth is you can make any amount of money you want in the world and you can do it as a natural by-product of being who you really are. This is the sweet spot most people will spend a lifetime searching to find even for a MOMENT. And for those of us who figure this out and then choose it? It’s a way of life we can’t even fathom not living for.

Of course, on some level, I knew this the whole time.

For as far back as I can remember, I was finding ways to make money, to create, sell, invent, to produce something out of nothing and then have people want it, and also that other natural drive within me to serve, to impact, to lead. It was obvious to me, since always, that money was infinitely available! All I had to do was figure out where it was at! Like I said – a million ways to make a million dollars.

And for me, like so many natural entrepreneurs and creators, I’ve always been able to make money when I decide to, and when I follow my creative flow. But if I look back over the journey, the years, the decades … what seems obvious now is that the making money bit was always something I just assumed I could do. And so I did it, didn’t do it, whatever. In the seasons when I wasn’t making it, it may have irked me, but it didn’t DEEPLY bother me as I knew I could make it again anytime I really decided.

Even now, this is still how I feel. Between my various properties, investments, business expenses, and giving and tithing commitments, my minimum requirement to produce each week is in the multi 6-figures. Sometimes I don’t produce that much cash. Sometimes I have to juggle like a fucking magician!

Always, however, I feel safe with money.

Because the thing with money is, money has always been there for me when I really choose it. And so I might juggle, or run like a mofo for a minute to keep up, or bemoan the fact that it’s an extra high investment or expenditure week and hell no I am NOT gonna cut back on my lifestyle (please!), but really?

I just keep choosing it and bitches keep getting paid. This one, specifically.

Wanna know what I really lived scared of, for so many of those years? Uncertain of, questioning, and not really owning?

It wasn’t the money …

It wasn’t whether or not my latest hare-brained or radical idea would pay off … some do, some don’t, so what?!

What most deeply bothered me throughout my entire life, for as long as I can remember, was –

Am I going to be who I really came here to be?

Am I going to live my purpose?

Am I going to find and create my destiny?

Am I going to be the version of me who I feel, have always felt, like a longing, a yearning, a deep deep knowing, beating within me, NEEDS to get out?

Some years back I went through a peak period of income production in one of my core businesses which was, at the time, INSANE. Had never been done in that industry. I was the QUEEN, and I just.kept.flying. I loved it. The more money I made the more I made and just kept on making! It seemed as though I’d cracked the code, and it would never end.

And then? It slowed. Not too much at first. But then a little bit more. And a little bit more still. Bit by bit I started to wonder – ‘have I lost my touch? Is my moment in the sun over?’. And I looked and looked and looked for what I was missing in order to hype things back up again. But somehow … I just couldn’t seem to find it. I’d lost whatever magic had been on me during that period. That business continued to make what most anybody would consider to be FUCKING EXCELLENT money, but it never went back to that peak. Not in that way.

A few years after that, or maybe since before time even began, I realised something:

The money I made during that time was a by-product of the fact that I had accessed REALLY FUCKING RESULT-PRODUCING CREATIVE FLOW. But it wasn’t sustainable because who I was being during that time?

Was a ME who wasn’t sustainable.

She was the me for that season, absolutely.

Just as the 11 year old me who made a grand a week as the Avon lady was the me for that season.

Or the 8 year old me running profitable membership clubs amongst her school friends was the me for that season.

Or the name-any-age me making crafty things and selling them door to door was the me for that season.

Or the 22 year old personal trainer making more money than the entire rest of the team put together was the me for THAT season.

A moment in the sun to enjoy … to bask in, even … and to absolutely ROLL with and wring every last drop of fuck yes out of, in service to those it served as well as in the pursuit of fuck yes outcomes including money and more!

But eventually,

as with most everything I’ve created, invented, or happened upon in life which got me paid,

it faded.

Because in the end I was always and only one person.

I’ve been her since before time began.

I’ll be her til the end of time.

And that is this:

I came here to write. To speak. To unleash what is in my soul in such a way that it moves who it is meant to move, in the way they are meant to be moved in that moment, and that it is done in the way that is true for ME to do in that moment.

It’s always been about the words. It’s always been about the message. It’s always been about OPEN MY SOUL AND POUR OUT THE HEALING THAT’S IN THERE, because what comes through and from me? Will change the fucking world.

And everything else which has been different to me JUST being that … everything which has been a VERSION of me being that … everything which has been me in some way ADDING to or TAKING from that has, in equal measures, ultimately exhausted or drained me or simply,

faded away.

When I focused relentlessly on what I needed to do to dial back up the colour on something which had worked so well and then faded, when I made the paradigm ‘I lost my touch or why is this thing not working anymore?!’, I focused on the wrong thing.

It wasn’t working anymore because in the time it did work, in the time it WAS the season for me to be or do that, that thing was the exact vehicle I needed in order to more truly access the ACTUAL thing. My writing. My message. My voice.

Bit by bit, every vehicle or tool which helps me to harness or see another part of my own soul, once it’s achieved that, has faded, become stale, boring, inept.

And bit by bit, when I shift my focus to what this has resulted in, and stop thinking about ‘why is money not coming THAT way anymore?’, what I see is this:

It’s the same as it’s always been. For all of the decades and all of the time.

Look within.

Create or speak forth or unleash what I see there.

Repeat.

And so my message to you today is this:

Don’t get caught up in a way of doing or being something in order to get an outcome, money or otherwise.

There are a million ways to a million dollars.

There is only one way to be you.

Know that the money will come and always HAS done any time you really choose. Hand it over. What the fuck is there to worry about?!

And instead, wonder on this:

What would it look to finally stop trying to get back to a version of you you’re done MF being, and instead to focus on the vehicle of being you that you’re being shown today?

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