By using thekatrinaruthshow.com, you consent to our use of cookies.

Purpose

BUT I NEVER ASKED YOU TO BE PERFECT – I JUST ASKED YOU TO BE YOU

{A love letter and reminder to the me who once thought that the answer was to do everything, perfectly, always}

It was late at night –
As is often the case –
And the tasks I knew I must do were weighing heavily on me.

The resistance was strong on this day, stronger than perhaps ever, but for the first time in a long while I found myself getting curious about what the resistance was there to tell me.

See normally I would run and hide, in fact I was an expert at it!

Binge eating, for years.
Replaced by being busy, productive, getting shit DONE.
A very socially acceptable way to avoid doing the real work.
Or facing into truth.

But on this particular night it seemed that it was time to look within, ask the hard questions, accept and also ACT on the answers.

And don’t you just find that accepting answers is one thing but ACTING on them, whew boy –

That’s another thing entirely, isn’t it?! It feels SO DAMN HARD, even though as SOON as you leap, the very SECOND, you wonder what in the actual fuck it was you THOUGHT you were thinking, by not following truth.

So there I was.
Stood in my kitchen.
The laptop set to the side, the knowledge that I really HAD to sit down and ‘do the work’ draining my very soul, and all I could think, in DESPAIR, was –

“BUT I DON’T WANT TO!”

And I found myself –
Slumped over –
Head in my hands –
Trying to figure out WHAT then, I should do.

I didn’t want to go to bed, I was SO tired of going to bed feeling as though I hadn’t shown up for my LIFE.

But I didn’t want to do the work, that’s for sure! I was SO exhausted from CONTINUALLY HAVING TO DO ALL THE THINGS, to stay ahead, to get on top, to PROVE myself.

As I stood there, slumped forward, gazing at my own reflection in the mirrored panel of the wall behind the bench, a whisper came to me, from God:

“Sit”.

I raged – !

“SIT?! I can’t SIT! What am I going to SIT for? I CAN’T sit; I won’t even be ABLE to sit!”

The whisper came back, a little more insistent:

“SIT”

“Fine”, said I –

“I’ll sit. But only for a MOMENT, what on earth is SITTING going to do?!”

The whisper breezed through me once more, and clearly God has attitude – !

“You’ll sit for as long as it takes”

I felt the fight go out of me – a LITTLE!

I poured some wine.
I went into the lounge.
I took my blanket over me.
I sat.

I leaned back.

And I thought about how TIRING the whole thing was. How much there was ahead of me. Scary things which I knew were coming up in my life, and I didn’t know how to handle them, even though I know, I know – everything happens FOR me, not to me.

I stared up at the ceiling, seeking I suppose some divine inspiration, and almost immediately, a scripture came to me:

“I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me”.

I knew it was true.
I’ve always known it.
But I suppose –
It WOULD require me to ask.
And to trust.

And I find … I have found … it’s a hard thing for me to do, you know? To ask. To trust. I wonder if you find so too?

I heard it once again –

“I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me”

Take what you will from it, but what I took was this:

“Okay then God – what should I do?”

And clear as clear can be, as is always the way, when I listen within, to God, to my Self, to the message, to truth:

“Delete it all.
All that you’re holding on to.
Every single list.
And should.
And must.
Wipe the slate clean”

I thought about how freeing it would feel, if there was nothing I had to do, no lists and lists and lists and daily MUSTS hanging over me –

And I knew, I’d already known, since for EVER, but in that moment I knew it once more:

Of course.
I would be fine.
Of COURSE.
I would find my way.
Of course.
I ALWAYS know what the aligned action to take is, and in fact EVERY thing that has gotten me to where I am has come from inspired action and flow, from intuition and gut, from God and truth.

Not from a fucking list.

But yet I found myself, still, FIGHTING. There was SO much that had to be done. Important things, and people, too, to get back to! What if I FORGOT something that MATTERED! What would people think? What would HAPPEN if I didn’t do ALL THE THINGS, perfectly, always?!

And a million thoughts started to race through my mind –

About how I just wanted to be taken CARE of, and how angry I felt that I’d attracted in relationship after relationship where I WASN’T.

Followed instantly by the bucket of cold water truth that if I wanted to be taken CARE of, I should try taking care of my SELF.

We always rail against not receiving from others –
What we refuse to give ourselves.

The next thought raced in just as quickly, and almost cruelly:

Well Kat –

If you were taking CARE of your SELF, you wouldn’t be giving your LIFE for all of these things –
These SHOULDS –
These promises, to everyone and every THING, but YOU.

You’d be acting from flow.
Creating each moment IN that moment.
Present.
And in attendance.
With your life.

Nothing you ever had to do …
Yet always aligned action to take.

I felt my eyes close with the heaviness and the truth of it all, I felt like I should get up and write all of this down, but yet the voice was clear:

“No.
Not yet.
You SIT.”

And so, I sat.
And the thoughts kept coming.

About how long it had been now, how many years and perhaps even decades, I’d been promising myself that I’d get to do what I really wanted. That I’d live for what MATTERED. That I would TRUST in myself, in God, in truths which I KNEW, in my heart of hearts to BE true.

And how for just as many years –
I’d continued to delay –
To put off –
To have ‘just a few more things that needed doing first’.

And how very very possible it was –
That if I didn’t change something NOW –
My entire life would be played this way.

In case you’re wondering –
By this time I had accepted that yes. Perhaps it WAS a good idea to sit!

And I tuned in –
To how I very could have easily, once more, spent the next 4 or 5 hours, getting shit DONE, so that tomorrow – tomorrow, I promise! – I’d finally have my slate clear so I could do what MATTERED.

Once more, that knock on the door of my soul reminding me: you’re not taking CARE of you. Taking care of YOU is not responding, reacting, doing what everybody else expects, keeping up.

“But I HAVE to get it DONE!” my fearful mind shrieked. “There is SO much to do! And BESIDES, there are people, SMART and SUCCESSFUL people, who I know for SURE who follow a structure, a process, a schedule, and so I MUST TOO!”

(Even as I knew –
Of course –
I really just CAN’T. Never could. Never will. But still, yet, I RAILED!)

And then –

In one simple sentence –

The fight fully left my body.

And I felt the tears rise, as I heard God say, the thing which finally broke me –

Got through to me –

And I share because perhaps it will also, to you:

“But I never asked you to be perfect.
I asked you to be you”

Remember –

Life is Now. Press Play! 

Kat x

PS.

I’m excited to announce my Flow-Led Millionaire Private Client Mastermind Days are back, happening this August (PM me for full deets!) 

Warning! This Mastermind will require you to get TF over your hang-ups around:

* Automated income

* Being seen more, and more boldly

* Adding layers upon layers upon layers of more SELLING

* Ruthless repurposing and re-selling

* Structure, systems, process

* Building a cash machine which pays you on repeat regardless of whether YOU are grinding your fingers to the bone to get it working!

Requirements:

You have an existing business which makes money, delivers a fabulous product or service (or multiple of!) which helps people, you know who you are and who you’re here to serve (while always welcoming deeper clarity!), and you have a proven track record for getting results to those people … even if it’s on a scale, so far, which, frankly, you consider outrageous. Since you know you’re here to do insanely big work in the world!

Oh, speaking of which – you know you’re here to do insanely big work in the world! And you’re ready to put the wheels on that NOW, and see your revenue – your growth of soulmate audience – your soul-led result-gettin’ systems – and all in all your own badassery – explode, stat!

You’re not afraid of doing the damn work (duh),

but you also know that there’s a simpler way, a more flow way, a more YOU way.

And you’re ready to get down to the nitty gritty of that now, and then roll it out like the take no prisoners mofo you are.

All with me – secret counsel to the worlds most elite game-changers, leaders, and revolutionaries – supporting you to know exactly what to do,

and exactly how to do it,

so you make MORE money,

reach MORE (of the right people),

the YOU way,

having more fun and flow than you ever dreamed possible,

and finally knowing you’re all in on you,

Now!

What you get out of this time together is simple:

* Identified opportunities for money-makin’ – minimum 3, up to 10+ (this is normal in these conversations with me)

* Specific to you simple soulmate audience growth strategy, which you can roll out right away, and will often involve only ‘tweaks’ rather than having to DO anything dramatically extra

* Confidence and inner tools as well as practical steps for improving / adding to / setting up (depending where you’re at) your automated income / funnels 

* Personalised (to your personality / style / lifestyle / skillset) action plan for implementing

* Tweaks you can add in right away to increase sales on existing processes

* Daily / weekly ‘hustle flow plan’ individualised to you

All in all here’s what it comes down to:

>>> You will walk out with a complete action plan tailored to your business, very detailed and also very SIMPLE, with also a complete understanding of what you need to do and HOW to do it, to take you to the next major income level, and beyond.

This will include your next three offers (MINIMUM), up-sells, or funnel ad-ins, FULLY CREATED IN THE TIME TOGETHER!

Plus:

1:1 follow on support to help you implement and follow through.

I love doing this INTENSIVE deep dive work where we pull everything apart all at once, and then nail down the EXACT action steps for each person to take to get more paying customers and clients, who are soul-aligned, coming in NOW, who are also buying more things, because you’ve got all your damn shit in place!

This immersive day together is limited to 5-7 people per event. 

If this is speaking to you PM me here to apply / for more info!