Success/Success Mindset
COMPLETELY FULL OF SHIT
Do you ever worry that you are completely full of shit?
I do, I worry about it a lot. Or at least, I HAVE worried about it a lot if you added it all up over time.
And I still do, from time to time.
Sometimes I think it’s just part of the journey of being human, and it will never fully go away, that “how do I KNOW I am for real?!” part of ourselves. I think it actually helps us to draw EVEN closer to God, to purpose, to soul.
I worry that maybe I’m just making everything I am and everything I speak of or do up.
That maybe I am a fake Christian, that I just ‘talk’ about putting God first, and following His will for my life rather than my own, but maybe I just talk a good talk, maybe I’m not doing it right, and how to know for sure?!
I worry that when I’m ‘tapped in’, ‘connected’, letting deep life and soul truths come through and from me, ALLOWING myself to be the vessel who I KNOW I’m here to be, that I’m just a silly little girl,
pretending she has grown up and wise and important soul-shifting things to say,
who knows how to string a bunch of fancy words together,
but actually has NO clue what she is talking about, and will at any moment now revert to being a silly little girl!
I worry that I’m a fake grown-up, too! Drivin’ around in my fancy cars, with my dream house, and, sure, all these ‘grown up’ investments and properties and portfolios and whatnot, but at any moment now someone is probably gonna pluck me right out of the seat of my G wagon and say “Oi! Who let YOU in there?! What are you doing? WE ALL KNOW YOU’RE NOT REAL!”
I worry my writing is ridiculous. Will never be good enough for mainstream publishing or any sort of grand scale consumption. My social media presence is too messy for me to ever be taken seriously, anyway! I do okay in the bubble I operate in, I do very very well, in fact, but that’s where I am ACCEPTED, APPROVED, ALLOWED, and also EXPECTED.
And even then I get my ‘you’re probably full of shit, Kat’ worries on.
I worry maybe I am fake in my relationship, too. Pretending to be this fully grown God-centred and soul-certain woman who can be the woman that my KING, ’cause that is what he is, has always dreamed of. Who he thinks I am. KNOWS I am. And is so grateful for me being. But what if I’m not? What if I’m a hot mess? What if I know NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING, ANYTHING AT ALL, and I’m just faking some level of being the kind of woman who would experience love and life with a man like that.
Just like maybe I’m faking being the kind of leader, messenger, writer who would experience business and money flow the way I do.
Heck, maybe I’m even faking being a fit person, too, and everyone can see it!
I could go on and on, and cover every possible area you bring to mind if you like!
We didn’t even touch on parenting 
Do you ever feel any of this? No? Just me?!
If you do, then you’ll know – it feels so real. So valid, that we should worry, in those moments when the worry comes up. And there’s also plenty of EVIDENCE, if you go looking for it! How helpful!
Look – a big ass list of all the ways I’ve screwed up, lived wildly off alignment, made extraordinarily curious life choices, NOT been true to soul and God! Wanna see?!
So here is how I deal with this shit, when it comes up, as it inevitably will. And I’ll tell ya – having personally coached too many badass high level and also well known leaders, speakers, coaches, writers, messengers too count – it’s not just me. And it’s not just you. Who does have this stuff come up. THEY ALL DO.
Shock shock – they’re all human
So yes. Here is how I deal. How I journal and coach my way through this morning, for example. And now for you.
All I can do is all that I can do each day to be the best I can be. To tune in, connect to God (God as the filter!), and soul, and truth, alignment, etcetera. For years I made it about ‘soul first’, alignment, intuition, and so on. I was avoiding God, but I always knew it was about God first. So now, I may often say ‘when I say yes to soul, life says yes to me’, and so on, but make no mistake –
My soul is planted firmly in God. He is the ULTIMATE alignment, way, truth, light.
“BUT KAT YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT! AS IF YOU’RE ACTUALLY DOING IT RIGHT!”,
says fear.
Well –
(and this is a great line I heard just yesterday in church!)
FAITH EXTINGUISHES FEAR. Every time.
Which reminds me –
The fear of not being enough comes direct from Satan. The Devil, FEAR, wants to take you away from purpose. Strip you of your identity. Your TRUE IDENTITY is the most powerful thing you possess. YOUR TRUE IDENTITY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!
The #1 thing the Devil, and fear, will seek to do, is to take you away from your identity.
As this in turn will kill your purpose, and destiny, and mean you do not help OTHERS to live in theirs.
Take a look around –
Any chance this could be happening in the world right now?
Any?!
Mm hmm.
What else?
I remind myself –
All that I can do each day is my best to be my best. As I said above. A little adjustment day by day deeper in the direction of God, of soul, of truth.
Well – if you want to try figure that out based on the worlds standards, or even your own, it’s gonna be a battle you will never win. You’ll always wonder, and there’ll always be another hurdle to jump, another thing to ‘prove’, and you’ll always feel like maybe you’re lacking, unworthy.
Again! The voice of the Devil. THESE THOUGHTS ARE NEVER FROM GOD, NEVER FROM TRUTH, NEVER FROM SOUL.
The Holy Spirit directly TELLS us that thoughts of self-deprecation and contraction and so on (paraphrasing) are not from Him! What EXPANDS us (even if it scares or confronts us) is from God. What does not – is not. It’s pretty simple.
But, how do you be sure?
“How do I be sure”, I asked God this morning. “How do I have peace I am being who I am meant to be in my relationship? And in you?”
And I realised, the only way is to DECIDE. Just decide that I will and do and can. How dare I decide such a thing? I dare because I plant that decision in surrendering it fully to God, and knowing that only in Him can I ACTUALLY know true peace, certainty, faith, surrender.
So … when I think about ‘doing my best each day to be my best’, here is what matters and what all of this, 100% of it, comes down to:
Where is your gaze focused?
Wherever your gaze is, there you will go. There you will find yourself. And there you will either free yourself (be freed), or lose yourself (be lost).
It’s actually that simple.
And a what a breath of fresh air is THAT, huh? ‘Cause imagine. Just imagine! You had to live life in such a way where every day you needed to run your every move through some kind of ‘enough’ filter, and see if you hit your mark.
All that is required? Gaze fixed where it’s meant to be. Decision made about what you will give your life for, and to whom. (I’d suggest giving it for what it was given you).
Look –
The voice of the Devil comes to kill and steal and destroy. Anything that strips you OF you is not of you, and it’s not of God. But you don’t ever need to figure out anything, know anything, and certainly not everything.
You just need to know –
And that,
you can do,
today,
now.
So? Go do it.
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