DRIED UP PUSSY SYNDROME OF THE SOUL

Sometimes I have these little moments of feeling so DONE, being me.

It’s like … a see-sawing from – fuck yes. This is awesome! I get to wake up every day, dive headfirst into flow, see where it takes me, write and speak and make some stuff, kick the ass of and activate awesome peeps … create anything I want and that comes to me … this is amazing –

over to – farrrrrkkkk. Here I am in the void again, and I got nothin’.

In these moments (I’d say ‘on these days’, but the truth is I don’t really languish there for days very often, as what I am writing to you today is a reflection of the fact that I just SHIFT it), I genuinely feel like maybe I am done.

Maybe I have spent every last flow drop. My inner well is all dried up. I got dry old pussy syndrome of the soul. SO TRAGIC.

I might sit for a bit. Flit around in my journal. Try to read something. Seeking the SPARK. Desperate to latch on to … anything! Gaze out the window. PLEASE GOD. But still –

NOTHING.

And I wonder, in those moments. About a life where I did not relentlessly get up, and throw myself in to the NO-thing, hoping to extrapolate from it SOME-thing, heck I’d take ANY-thing at this point, never mind whether it feels amazing, yes, leads to sales, whatever! JUST GIVE ME BACK MY FLOW FIX!

It’s easy to tell myself, in those moments, that it is VALID for me to be done. “What, you think you really needa be sitting here WRITING, still, after all these years, just churning out endless blogs … programs … whatever. Nobody cares! People feel SORRY for you, that you’re still doing this. So repetitive!”

Yep. That inner fear voice thang is real, and I’ll tell ya, having coached more than half of the top badasses in this space … it can pop back any old time. And so what? We don’t have to make it mean anything.

You could ignore it.

You could use it for growth or a lesson.

You could make it mean it’s time to pause, or step back, do something else. I’ve experimented with that enough to know it’s best kept as an ADDITION to me still going in. My whole life feels right, and easy, when I first go IN, whether or not I feel like it.

You could lean in to whether there IS some change to be made here. I’ve toyed plenty of times with whether I AM done, or done in whatever capacity I USED to do this whole thang. I’ve taken time out, or off, even extensively. I’ve ventured into other waters.

I always come back to this.

So now, and most of the time over the years, knowing this deeper truth about myself as I HAVE always done, I just – get on with it. And if the spark still does not come, meh –

I literally start writing exactly what is going through my mind. Kinda like right now 🙂

Turns out, when I look back over the years, some of those ‘I literally got nothing to say to you’ posts, or even COURSES … are the ones that have most served. The ones I get big thank yous about. As much or in some cases more than the things that came out of me when I was SO motherfreakin’ in it, the way I often just wish I could always feel!!

But then I think, hm. Maybe we GET to experience the disconnection now and then, because the joy of it coming back is SO.FREAKING.GOOD. Like right now!

And whatever you think, for me the truth is this:

How did I produce over 20 million personally in monies received, while basically dancing around the innernets, throwing shit at the wall, doing what I wanted, and defying all odds or reason as to what ‘work’ looks like or how much time it takes … all while TRULY serving my soul peeps and being who I am meant to be??

I just kept writing saying or making what I was thinking or present with, even when I didn’t feel like it or know how.

I don’t think this is a business strategy YOU should follow. I think it’s exactly what I came here to do.

And you?

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