I DID NOT GET HEREBY GIVING IN TO DOUBT

Sometimes I am so bored with my daily blog posts, this long ass stream of consciousness which I unleash onto the Internet each day, and I find a part of me questioning what the hell I’m actually doing, and WHY.

Does anybody really still want to hear all this shit? Do I MYSELF really want to still hear and see all of this shit? It’s so SAME SAME, I’ve been doing it for years now, and probably everybody is SO over it! Most likely they are sitting at home rolling their eyes at the idea that I think I am STILL relevant, “when is she going to realise how predictable she’s become? What, she thinks that writing long as fuck rants or sermons is still something NEW, or INTERESTING, or at all useful?! Pah!”

🔥🔥 I’m sitting here today at this one little coffee shop on the coast, next to a real estate agent, where I’ve been coming of an early morning for YEARS. I’m at the same table where, years back, I sat morning after morning and DESPERATELY dug in for sales ideas to get me out of my over 145k debt situation, and help me to continue to be able to scrape together enough for a coffee, never mind rent, or LIVING!

There’s something pretty powerful about being in the same exact spot, drinking the same exact coffee, and realising that I am still doing the same exact THINGS to start my day (journaling, digging in, writing out what I decide will be true, blogging), except that now?

I have a highly profitable multi 7-figure online business, doing my soul work and empowering you to do the same!

It’s a kind of effective reminder that what WORKS is staying the course, regardless of doubt, fear, and self-judgement. I used to sit in this corner and look at the houses for sale right next to me, and could only begin to imagine buying one. Now, I own multiple properties and my home which I live in cost about 8x what most of these advertised properties are going for! That DID NOT HAPPEN BY GIVING IN TO DOUBT.

When this spirit of DOUBT comes over me, I am of course in that moment not remotely considering the fact that some of my readers have not in fact been reading my blog posts for years, being as how maybe they are new here, and that for the ones who ARE still reading ’em years later, uh, well, clearly they’re getting value or they would NOT still be here! I’m also in that moment not thinking at all about the fact that for each of us, the growth work is never done and never can be. No matter how many times we’ve heard something true, something which remembers us back to who we always were and now perhaps are finally choosing to be, we probably need to hear it again! Indeed my BELIEF around my daily asskickery blogs, and around all of my content, both free and paid, is that it falls into the lap of who NEEDED it.

So while my ego might feel sad and mad and a little bit bad when I only get 8 likes or something (seriously! I have hundreds of thousands of total followers; something is obviously off if a post only gets a small handful of likes, and besides, WHY AREN’T YOU ALL OBSESSIVELY WATCHING ME ALL THE TIME … haha) … while my EGO might feel down about it, my higher self knows what is facts, and facts is dis:

It’s not my job to be the editor or critic of my own message.

It IS my job in my human form to DO the job which God has sent me to do, which also happens to be (of course) the job of my highest available self. My human self is the employee of my highest self, and both submit to God’s will for my life.

So when DOUBT creeps in, it’s actually VERY simple. Do your fucking job, bitch!

Or not only will you not get PAID, just like how it will go down for any other fucker on this earth who doesn’t do their job, but also, and this is critical:

We’re not just talking about being paid with money.

We’re talking about – and this is a pretty tepid way to say what it actually is – LIFE fulfilment at worst, and spiritual gifts and rewards beyond this lifetime at best.

That’s some serious moolah to be missing out on if you decide that OH – just because I don’t FEEL like it, or doubt is creeping in and shaking its hairy ass at me (I don’t know why this; I told you it’s not up to me to question the message!), that has NOTHING to do with whether or not I do the damn thing.

See here’s the thing, about the Spirit of Doubt. Or Fear. Or Self-Judgement.

THAT SHIT AIN’T FROM GOD.

It’s also not from SOUL.

It’s not from higher self.

It’s not from ANY place that serves you, or allows you to BE of service in the world!

What, you think that you QUESTIONING whether you’ve become boring, bland, pointless, can lead to something good, or comes from someplace good? NO. Get thee behind me Satan.

Look, there’s nothing wrong with having a prayer, an intention, a DECISION to jazz things up. To FEEL connected once more to do the work that you’re doing. To KNOW you’re on path, and feel excited, lit up, and proud of yourself for what you are putting out into the world!

When you notice yourself feeling a bit blah, a bit hum drum, a bit like it’s all just the same stuff over and over again, by all means, DECIDE that you get to flick back into the flow lane, and feel on FIRE.

But you can decide that without pressing pause on doing today’s work today.

If you felt like you were so bored with yourself with the way you’re working out, would you just STOP moving your body until the spirit (the good one lol) came upon you and told you what to do instead?

MAYBE.

Sometimes, yes, it is a season for pause, for waiting, for sitting in the waiting space and being the willing servant of whenever the fuck the message or next soul nudge comes through.

THIS IS PRETTY RARE.

And you know when it is actually valid to pause momentum, and just wait. You do know.

Just as you know when it is next level certified and laminated bullshit to even consider doing this.

Because if you’re bored –

Or maybe you just THINK that you might be –

Or you think that everybody else thinks you’re being boring –

Or doubt is just running rings around you so damn fast that you can’t even tell what it’s yabbering on about, but you know it don’t FEEL good –

MOSTLY the answer is to show the fuck up anyway. Do today’s work today. And meanwhile, at the same time, DECIDE you get to flick back into the flow lane. Really, it’s never a different practical reality you’re craving, if you think it’s that let’s just remember that what it actually is is whatever you think that represents.

The energy and emotion of the thing, the VIBE of the thing baby! THAT is what you’re chasing, maybe missing, have perhaps lost sight of.

So, rather than throwing the damn baby out with the bathwater, quitting and shitting all over everything that has indeed BROUGHT YOU THIS FAR, why not just step back for a moment, and be the observer.

Why not remind yourself that it is your CONSISTENCY, even in the face of alllll the doubts, uncertainties, and ‘you’re a loser’ type voices inside of your head, that got you here.

The showing up whether or not you feel like it.

The ‘being a willing vessel of purpose’ bit.

The trust in the damn PROCESS.

And also the fact that, when you put the bullshit aside, and remind yourself of what is REAL, you KNOW that the damn energy side of things is always just a choice.

So you wanna feel more on fire, have more fun with it, feel certain, and confident, and fuck yes, and free?

DECIDE!

Set the damn intention and DECIDE!

YES, by all means, check in and tune in on whether there is something different, or new, for you to do, or perhaps simply a new environment to drop into today, who knows?!

Meanwhile –

GET THE FUCK ON WITH DOING THE WORK OF THIS MOMENT, IN THIS MOMENT.

After all, when all is said and done, here is what will create you the business and life of your dreams, or no.

The certain knowledge that no matter which way you twist or turn it?

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