When I was in my early twenties I was one of those people that needed at LEAST 10 hours sleep, and preferably 12-14. Without it? I was a red hot mess. Couldn’t function. Felt like shit. Grumpy bitch!
It wasn’t as though I didn’t take care of myself, either. I worked out daily. Followed a strict (healthy) diet. Got plenty of sun and worked hard but not too hard. This was just how I was built. Some people just need more sleep, right? You might even be one of them.
A few years later, I was working in Personal Training Management for Australia’s largest health club chain, and I was in charge of all the inner city clubs; the hiring, recruiting, managing, training and also training development of the personal trainers. I pretty much ‘lived’ in the gym and as such I ate healthy, worked out, etc.
Yet for some reason, every morning come about 10.30am I would HAVE to lie down on my office floor (door safely locked, as it opened directly onto the gym at one of Melbourne’s busiest clubs!) and rest. Not quite nap, but close. If I didn’t I’d wind up mega dizzy, flat, unable to focus or cope.
I didn’t think much of it … I’d always had weird blood sugar issues. Sometimes I’d be walking down the hallway at home and I’d suddenly just slump down the wall; black spots head rush. It was just how I was built, so if I needed to rest, or if I needed to mainline a little sugar, I’d do so.
Speaking of sugar, I definitely NEEDED daily sugar to keep me on my feet. I tried at times to break the habit but quickly established that wasn’t a good idea. I needed the carbs!
Kind of WEIRD that I don’t need those things anymore, but hey, it is what it is, right?!
Over the years I’ve realised many things about myself that are NECESSARY for me to keep functioning and being ‘me’.
In my full-on obsessive gym days I NEEDED to do at least 3 hours cardio a day, and up to 6.
In my bodybuilding/ sports modeling competition days I NEEDED to eat a very particular way and woe betide any event, occasion or person who threatened to infringe on that.
Because of said diet I NEEDED to mainline black coffee like it was going out of fashion and I also needed to keep myself going and sane with a few sugar-free lollies throughout the day … one time I took it too far and ate the whole packet – I definitely NEEDED to NEVER DO THAT AGAIN after the ensuing digestive response!
After, and also throughout, the years of following such restrictive diets and training regimes and being so obsessed with how I looked I found that in order to manage my stress and general sense of life being out of control and WAY off track I needed to binge eat. A lot. Literally kilos a day of chocolate and donuts and cookies and pizza and more chocolate. Mainly chocolate. And then because I NEEDED to look a certain way in order to maintain my identity and ANY sense of control I NEEDED to make myself throw it up again, so obviously I did. For 10 years, off and on, up to 6x a day. It literally took over my life for a decade and nearly everything I did or didn’t do on a day to day basis was based around when I could get my next fix, stuff my face in hiding, escape the world I couldn’t understand and didn’t fit into and finally feel that sweet sweet release before the awful awful shame. But what could I do? I NEEDED it.
STRANGE how now I definitely need NOT to abuse food or my body in that way, but what can I say? I needed what I needed!
Today I read something on my Facebook wall that stopped me in my tracks with its profound TRUTH. It was a simple statement in the middle of a long post about transformation and doing work you love; how it’s not really work when you love it. The post was written by my friend Regan, a TRULY kickass woman entrepreneur, and what it said was along the following lines:
“I NEED to write and speak and coach every day in some form or I feel unsatisfied”.
She also mentioned how she now sleeps LESS, works HARDER, TRAINS harder, has more energy and FEELS better than in years gone by; the implication being that all of these things that look like (and are!) pushing FUEL her and are NECESSARY.
Can I ask you a question?
What do YOU need, right now, in your day to day life or ‘big picture wise’ in order to go to bed each night feeling satisfied? In order to have awesome energy … peace of mind … make great money … be in fantastic shape …
There was a time when for me to stay in GREAT shape I NEEDED to over-exercise, under-eat, and be bulimic.
I looked fucking AWESOME, so really, who cared if I felt like shit; that’s what it TOOK, right?
There was a time, when in order for me to make a CRAPLOAD of money, I had to work my butt off to hit my sales targets, get the commission and bonuses, and all the perks that came with a high-flying job. I didn’t particularly love the hours and some of the stuff I did was downright NOT me, but hey – that was what I NEEDED to do to make that sort of money, right?
A while after that, when I figured out the whole online game and started making BIG money there, what I NEEDED to do was sell stuff I didn’t really care about, in a way that didn’t suit me, to people I didn’t really like and didn’t want to have to work with! I would have loved to get paid JUST FOR BEING ME … I can’t tell you how many times I said “I just want to make money writing!”, but that just isn’t how it was. I NEEDED to suck it up and do those extra sales.
Just like I NEEDED 10 hours of sleep …
NEEDED to train a certain way ‘or else’ …
NEEDED to eat like the fucked up crazy fit-chick I was, ‘or else’
NEEDED, at certain points in my life, to dress a certain way when I went out with my friends, in order to fit in, be cool, look pretty, and get attention.
NEEDED, throughout a similar time in my life, to get smashed nearly 7 nights a week while managing a bar (yes, while working not just after!) and then go out to clubs that OPENED at 5am, in order to be happy, popular, accepted. I’m not judging former me by the way, I’m just saying what I NEEDED at the time.
NEEDED, throughout MOST of my adult life until recently, to somehow never have QUITE enough money regardless of how much I made. Needed the adrenalin rush of having to hustle, to push, to see if I could pull it off and PHEW; I always did but gosh it was close and man it fucking sucked from a stress and OMG I’M GOING TO DIE fight or flight survival point of view!
NEEDED, as I figured out how to build my business successfully, to have a certain amount of time available to do my work … certain conditions … appropriate energy and so on … the artist needs what she needs, okay!
It’s ODD, how now I can work from pretty much anywhere, in any short or long amount of time, under any conditions, but back then I just NEEDED everything a certain way; not like I could change it no matter how inconvenient it was!
I know I’m not the only one who NEEDS things a certain way in order to be safe / okay / healthy / energised / happy / me.
We all have our needs!
I’m sure it’s been barely a day since you’ve last verbalised or thought about something YOU need. I’m sure that if the things you need are THREATENED at times you’re just like me and you get cranky or anxious or otherwise reactive about it, because after all it’s what you NEED.
But here’s a really interesting idea –
And it’s just an IDEA, you understand; something I’m throwing out there for us both to mull over –
What if the things we NEEDED were things that always fueled and ELEVATED us?
What if you could CHOOSE what you need?
What if (idea of ideas!) you could CONDITION YOURSELF to need things that are good for you or even GREAT for you?
What if you could condition yourself to not only NO LONGER NEED stuff that didn’t serve you but to actively need the OPPOSITE of that stuff?
What if the things you see as ‘oh well, that’s just how it is and I just have to deal with it’, were actually all just FLIGHTS OF YOUR OWN FANTASY and based entirely on your own PERCEPTION of reality?
And what if you could decide that from here on out what you NEED is to live a life of meaning, of purpose, of passion, of flow, of exceptional health, of doing the work you were called to do in the world, of creating a business and life you love and doing so COMPLETELY on your terms?!
One of the things I hear time and time again online is people questioning the idea of having it all, of making money easily or by doing what you love, and really often anything to do with ‘living the dream’.
But can I tell you a secret?
It’s actually got VERY LITTLE to do with ‘doing what it takes’. I don’t mean people who have things rockin’ in multiple or all areas don’t work hard; we work our FUCKING FINE BUTTS OFF 😉 … but the real REASON?
Successful people who maintain and continue GROWING their success have conditioned themselves to need to live, breathe, operate and exist at a premium level.
They NEED to be in exceptional health and shape, and so they are.
They NEED to make a certain amount of money, and so they do.
They NEED to have things their way, all the way, no matter how crazy the way! And so they do.
I can tell you with CERTAINTY that anything you think you NEED right now which is in fact holding you back is something you are BUYING INTO YOUR OWN BULLSHIT ABOUT.
And you have the power of choice to change.
I can also tell you that anything you’d REALLY REALLY like to see improve in your life is SO not going to be about just ‘doing the work’. It’s going to be about BECOMING the person who HAS to have things that way, at that standard, no matter how outlandish or ‘too much’ it might seem. The person who just NEEDS things a certain way and so therefore has them that way!
Don’t you always have EVERYTHING you truly need?
I know I do …
And it’s FASCINATING to see how things can change over time.
I used to NEED to sleep 10 or more hours each night. Now I NEED to sleep 6 or less or I feel grumpy and frustrated; physically I’m flatter and I’m also pissed off at not getting more out of the day! I’ve literally trained my body and mind to NEED less sleep so I can feel and function at my best.
I used to NEED to do stupid diets and workouts to look great, and it was the ONLY way I could stay in shape. Now I NEED to never diet but I INSIST on abs, I NEED my workouts to be short, I NEED to have lifestyle flexibility and I fully believe that I need all of this but that I also NEED to be in great shape; because I simply refuse to not be. So … I get what I need. As always.
I used to NEED to do stupid shit to make money. Now I NEED to make money on my terms, from alignment and flow, by doing work I love and in a way that suits me! I used to TALK about WANTING to make money from writing … then I decided I NEEDED to make money from writing. So I do.
Just like my friend who triggered this whole post I too NEED to write and speak and coach each day, or I feel pissed off at the world and unfulfilled. My work literally fuels my soul AND my physical energy.
I also need to travel in business or higher class … so I do …
I need to travel as often as I want … so I do …
I need to have access to great coffee, great yoga, great restaurants, great gyms, beautiful surrounds, wherever I go in the world and so I do …
I need to ONLY work with the best mentors in the world, regardless of price, so I do …
I need to stay in the BEST hotels, so I do …
I need to have daily time for me, so I do …
I need to live a nomadic life right now, totally doing what I want as and when and how I want, so I do …
I need to spend daily time in nature and the sun, so I do …
I need to be supported by an awesome team, so I am …
I need to be a fun and engaged Mum, so I am …
Are you getting the picture here?
I could share with you the few things that have come to mind for me as I wrote this, where I realise – fuck; I’m buying into my own bullshit about NEEDING things a certain way and it’s NOT serving me in that area, but why would I focus on that?
I’m ALREADY RE-WRITING IT MENTALLY AS I WRITE THIS.
And you can do the same.
EVERYTHING you have.
Everything you DO.
Everything you will CONTINUE to get.
Is a product of what you need.
And everything you need?
Is a product of your imagination.
So let’s keep today’s exercise OH so very simple but oh so VERY very awesome:
You want to change your life, and live a new reality?
Get honest with yourself about what kind of person you’d have to be to live that way –
What kind of environment you’d need around you –
What you’d need to EXPECT or take for granted –
And decide that from here on out?
What you NEED is what will make it all true.
Don’t you need to at least give it a shot?! 😉
After all –
Life is Now. Press Play.
And right now I? NEED another coffee 🙂
Write. Speak. Sell The Class of 2019 is HERE!!
And it’s time to bring your true message to the world, no more waiting, no more readying, time to recognise you were worthy the whole damn time!
This 6 weeks of hands on learning, implementation, and LIVE support (from me personally!) to turn your words into profit, guaranteed! As well as all NEW content, and an entirely new program, bonuses, live support and more, you also receive all original course content from when I first ran this course in 2014.
You don’t have to be a “writer” or “speaker” in order to write and speak to sell but you DO have to understand how to use your words to compel people to take immediate ACTION. And if you ARE a writer, speaker, creator, already?? Time to gear that shit up 😉
Either way, you do have to finally say yes to letting what’s in you out, and to determinedly learning how to take it to the world in a way which IMPACTS, and also which allows YOU to get to where you’re meant to go.