IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO GO INTO YOUR BUBBLE, AND CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT … aka, this is how I journal, and create everything
I started the day on the wrong foot today, making the grave and almost fatal – although for some reason still oft-perpetuated – error of checking my messages while still in bed for the morning.
One of them caused me a minor blip of upset, and unthinkingly, I replied back from that place.
Nothing dramatic, nothing worth talking about, but still enough to mean that I was starting my day feeling ANNOYED, disconnected, and somewhat entertaining the idea that this now meant my FLOW would be harder to access.
Why did I do that? I know better than to allow the WORLD to infiltrate my thoughts and soul before I’ve gone within, and unleashed, FROM within, the art that needs to come out today! God damnit! Now I’m going to be distracted when I sit down to journal, to write, to create.
I shook my head at myself as I walked out of my apartment to the lifts, to head down to the beachside cafe where I now sit.
And as I waited for the lift to arrive, catching a glimpse of my grumpy looking face in the mirror in the hall, it suddenly hit me –
You can still just CHOOSE to go into your bubble, and be FULLY there once in, as well.
Hmmm … maybe there was a reason I chose reactivity this morning. Maybe there’s even a reason that I continue to create a situation in my life where I am TESTED on whether I will react in NOT conscious communication (with my children’s father), as opposed to whether I can practice patience, practice PAUSING even, practice coming from a soul aligned place even when it feels SO difficult at times.
Of COURSE there’s a reason, there is ALWAYS a fucking reason, and the sooner I allow for that and allow myself to be SHOWN it, the sooner I know I will FULLY move on from ‘getting to’ learn this same lesson over and over again. Life only shows us the lessons until we are done with them, and if, via your reactivity, for example, and via NOT first connecting to soul, you repeatedly show you didn’t yet learn and grow as you needed to, then, guess what?
You get to keep on learning!
So, of course there’s a reason. Which means there’s also a reason I chose to check messages this morning when I had no earthly OR other-worldly reason to do so; at least not on the surface of it.
And what better reason could there be, but that to REMIND me that no no, ACTUALLY – there is nothing that can separate me from flow (or God, or soul, while we’re at it!) except for my OWN CHOICE OR ALLOWANCE.
What a GREAT lesson to learn early on a Wednesday morning!
Thank you Jesus!
Thank you higher self!
Thank you sunny skies and sparkling beaches!
Thank you ex-husband for being a vessel for my growth! Haha. Too far? Nah … I actually mean it.
Thank you to MEEEE, yes even this VERY human me, for being willing to do the damn work! I am so proud of myself for being willing to do the work! Aren’t you, of you? You should be.
And so here is what came through and from me, as I stood there at the elevator bank, the first musings of this post washing over me, a few hours ago, journaling and GOING within still to unfold before we reached this place right now –
Of COURSE I can still go fully within.
Of COURSE I can still retreat fully into my bubble, and become and allow and shift what is needed, for today, and for all the days which follow.
And I want to say to you, of course, that SO TOO CAN YOU, and also, this –
It’s never too late.
You may have spent decades, an entire lifetime, and each and every moment up until this one right here, being the one who REACTS. Being the one to whom life HAPPENS. Being pushed, and pulled, this way, and that, and allowing yourself to be TAKEN FOR A RIDE.
It doesn’t matter.
The truth is as it’s always been and perhaps now you are ready to listen –
You don’t FIND the flow, you ARE the motherfucking flow. Just like you don’t GET to the point, you ARE the God damn point! Me too! Kinda cool, huh?
But also, before you cheer and HELL yes at THIS awesome badassery, let’s not forget –
This shit only works if you own it.
And in order to BE the flow, to BE the point (of your own life; what else!), and to also ACCESS, at will and on command all that you desire and require and KNOW is meant to be, you need to be damn DISCIPLINED.
Disciplined to notice, when you’re buying into a story, and saying ‘woe is me’, and ‘my flow was disrupted because he said / she said / this happened’, and ‘I wanted to, but I _______ ‘ – what? What was it that was actually a valid reason for why you couldn’t be who you damn well ARE, and press play accordingly?
THAT’S RIGHT BITCH.
NOTHING was or ever COULD be a valid reason for why you couldn’t do the damn work of living the life that’s always been inside you, waiting, until you say yes to it.
All of these things which are thrown at you, all of the lessons you allow in, all of the so-called distractions or disruptions from flow, all of the hurdles which pop up often at the last moment so you nearly go flying over them and fall flat on your face, ALL of the shit you CHOOSE to turn towards when you KNOW you’re meant to be turning within, ALL of it is just
Which you are CHOOSING to distract and sway you
But, actually, it IS easy, isn’t it? It’s just a choice, that simple. It’s a choice to be this person. It’s a choice, to be the one who takes a breath, shakes it off, squares her shoulders and stands up straight and says NO.
NO, I will not be swayed.
NO, I will not be tempted off path.
NO, I will not be seduced (again!) by the voices outside of my head.
NO, I will not compromise my art.
NO, I will not put the worlds needs, or anybody’s in it, ahead of my own, ahead of my SOUL work.
NO THANK YOU, thanks for the suggestion, but no I will NOT create my life from fear, from reactivity, from ‘should’, or any of its counterparts.
YOU HAVE THIS CHOICE EVERY DAY.
You are MAKING this choice every day, already, no need to pretend otherwise!
And you are creating your life accordingly.
Just look around, and see, what you have chosen, and feel, who you are right now still CHOOSING, to be!
You motherfucking DECIDE to0.
You have a PRACTICE around it (like journaling, like making space for your art no matter what, like refusing to get out of the damn chair till you come back to soul, like this right now!)
You FOLLOW the practice.
And you be strong enough that, when on occasion you ‘give in’ and are tempted away, you catch it, you forgive yourself, and you GET THE FUCK BACK TO CORE.
You realise that every choice you make, yes even the ‘silly’ ones, is and only CAN be for your purpose.
And then? You write that shit down. You ask, perhaps, why you needed to choose that, or experience that, or act that way. You get into gratitude, the highest frequency of receiving. Gratitude is a CHOICE, not something you ‘earn’, or ‘get’. You come back to what is now ALIGNED, to do, to think, to feel.
Then you do it.
This blog right here?
This is just a reflection of the journaling which came before it.
As I TRAINED myself back into the warrior of inner strength and badassery I am.
I may feel a flicker –
I may be ‘human as fuck’ for a moment, and react, be pulled off course –
But I am most human of all when I remember that I was born with power beyond my ability to measure or ever fully know –
And that there is NOTHING greater than the desire and truth in my soul, to know and also BE all that I came here for –
And that NO MATTER WHAT I can choose to come back to this place,
To pull away,
To go within,
And to once again, write out, state out, FEEL out, the life I want
And then watch
As the world shifts around me
As it always has,
And is already DOING, for you
Don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.