Discipline & Flow


When my business was nearly at the million dollar per year mark, heading steadily towards the milestone like some kind of death-sent train from hell taking me along for a ride I never actually wanted to be on, I made a decision to walk away from it all –

Close down all my key streams of income –

Just stop doing the whole entire thing.

I pulled the damn emergency cord, I pulled it hard, I pulled it on the spur of the moment, you might say, although really it had been coming for a while.

For days, weeks, months, and maybe the whole time in some way I’d known –

This is not what I’m meant to be about.
This is not really ME.
This is not the message I came here to share, the work I’m here to unleash into the world, and this is NO freakin’ way the lifestyle of my dreams!

I was burnt out, exhausted, soul starved and depleted, and just FADING.

Fading into a life of never ending NOT purpose-led hustle, telling myself that if I could just get one more sale –

One more set of automated payments up and running –

One or two more weeks ahead –

Then I’d somehow adjust things, make it right, make it fun, make it ME.

Can I tell you something??

If right now you are moving forward in the wrong business, the wrong life, the wrong relationship, fuck, the wrong way of styling your damn hair, then NO girl, no –

It’s not going to somehow magically adjust into the right one, the soul one, the you one!

>> You do not get to fuck yes by continuing to say yes to please, no <<<

That’s just stupid person math 😉

So yeah, it had been building for a while. And while in earlier years all was fine and dandy, because I was exploring, I was in the Kindergarten years of business and adulthood, and it kind of didn’t MATTER, or, more so, it was just a critical part of my figuring out who I was phase, and it also WAS fun to be in that explorative place, there eventually came a time when I just flat out KNEW I was full of shit.

Every day I’d get up, try and pump myself up with fucking sales songs or mantras because that’s what my mentors at the time taught me, slap myself twice on each cheek to wake up and get over my crybaby nonsense about not WANTING to, and I’d GO CRUSH SALES.

I was good at it, too. I’ve always been fucking exceptional at selling, you give me a room of people and if I decide to sell ’em I will close 90%, price point be damned, it is how it is. It’s always been that way. I’ve been selling since I was 3 years old and started going door to door hustling citrus fruits and daffodils from the field at the end of the road and my own drawings! By 8 I had a steady income selling memberships to my clubs (the initiations I made people do were the best!), and a nice little side hustle on the schoolyard. Bit of black market toy shifting, why not?! At 11 years old I remember having weeks where I’d do as much as a grand selling Avon.

So yeah –

Selling was never the issue. But somehow, despite my whole life of knowing I was BORN FOR THIS, in my early thirties and hustling like a mofo as a business coach, I had nothing to show for it. I was getting great results for everyone else, and I suppose on the surface of it I was for me as well. After all, hitting 700k or so in a year and knowing that if you just keep going you’ll hit a mil, is pretty sweet!

Except it wasn’t at all sweet, it tasted like straight up Satan juice, and I was hating every minute of it. Even when I was having a gee-darn turn up of a time, which was often the case, deeper down I HATED it. Why?


So, as is oft the case with these things, the pressure built to where I could no longer contain it, and I PULLED THE DAMN EMERGENCY CORD.

And in that moment, decided I would never again sell shit just for money –

Never again go against soul

And that from here on out I would only write and speak what was really coming through me, I would give my all to doing the work I was born to do, I would trust that if I backed myself unapologetically I could build a multi-million dollar empire THAT way, all on my terms, and that if it didn’t work then FUCK ALL OF YOU.

I was still gonna write and speak what needed to be said.

Of course when I said fuck all of you I really was angry at ME, the me who finally realised she’d been selling herself out.

Look, if you’re still finding your way that’s fine! But once you KNOW you’re out of alignment you know. And ain’t nobody likes a liar, particularly higher self. So STOP BULLSHITTING YOURSELF. Once you know and then you STILL don’t act you’re not only a liar, you’re an idiot, too!

After that, after I went all in on soul, the funny thing is, money started to show up like a MOTHERFUCKER.

In a way that it just never had before. Sure, I’d had months as high as 72k in income, but by God had it been hand over fist won. And somehow the debt and expenses still always exceeded the money flow. I look back now and I see that this was my higher self, God, protecting me.

The real me, the soul me, didn’t allow the human me to get rich out of alignment because she knew that that girl would probably end up addicted to living the wrong life.

So, on a soul level, I set myself up to never be ahead financially, because eventually it forced me to throw my hands up, SURRENDER, and decide not only to only do what I was born for moving forward, but also to contract WITH soul to do it NO MATTER WHAT.

Yes, in that moment I decided that from here on out I would only write and speak and create what came through me and that I would do it regardless of whether it EVER paid me.

I handed over the whole gettin’ rich bit.

But! I also DECIDED, at the same time, without concerning myself with the practicalities of it, that I DEFINITELY WOULD STILL BE RICH.

No idea how! No way I was going to keep TRYING, either!

It was just going to have to happen.

Thank you, good night, good luck, Amen.


But after THAT, some time after, or somewhere along the way, I accidentally made another soul contract which then took me some years to see the truth around.

It was something which definitely worked in my favour, to a point at least, and it went like this:

“I am allowed to receive vast amounts of money with ease SO LONG AS I AM IN ALIGNMENT WITH MY SOUL WORK“.

Look, I FULLY believe and have seen over and over again that those of us called for a higher purpose simply don’t unlock money flow until we say yes to soul.

So, it makes sense that ‘when I am fully in alignment and following soul, dropping into my genius and creating from that place’, I get paid! It is PROTECTIVE, because it’s a belief system that serves to finally get you to stop freaking giving your life for something it wasn’t given to YOU for.

And to finally give in to being you.

But if we’re going to be straight up honest about how money really works (and you can bet your sweet butt we are) then NO girl, no.

Actually, NO. There is no rule that you have to be in alignment to receive endless rivers of money with ease.

You sure as heck are better off believing THAT than believing the story that you gotta do shit you don’t really wanna do, which goes against your soul, and in a way that doesn’t serve you! I’d be dropping that story toot suite.

But nope.


Even though I myself have taught many times on getting aligned to allow money flow, the truth is that that is a LESS advanced approach. It’s often a required stepping stone, to get you out of ego and fear. So it IS real and true! But the deeper truth, the PhD of money allowing?


Your ability to get to rich is based on one thing and one thing alone:

Did you decide?

Your ABILITY, actually, let’s be even more accurate here, is ALREADY COMPLETE.

Whether or not you ALLOW money flow is based on one thing and one thing only:

Did you decide?

It may well serve you to ‘attach’ being in alignment and adherence to God and soul to your receiving (it served me for years! I am super grateful I created this belief! It freed and saved me!), but the truth beyond THAT truth is that you created that truth, that belief.

In life we are continually creating beliefs to support our focus, our actions, and help us to learn or grow through our next lesson.

But how MONEY works?

It is there. It is infinitely available. It is immeasurably available for YOU. It is UNCONDITIONALLY AVAILABLE, and always was.

Now THAT is some next level belief shit! So, maybe you don’t trust yourself yet to not be committed to soul, and maybe for that reason it SERVES you to continue the story that you have to be in soul alignment to get paid.

Good! Then go with that. For now. But see the big picture. Understand that as you grow, you WILL drop into “I receive because I am”.

And maybe,

just maybe,

you wanna choose to drop into that now.

Either way, whatever you decide –

You’re right.