STOP BEING SUCH A BLOODY SOOK
Stop whining and whinging that you don’t have what you want yet, that the struggle is real and that it should be WORKING right now.
It really doesn’t matter what could or should be; what matters is what IS.
And what IS is that you get to choose everything you have, and everything you don’t have, in your business and in your life. FOR your life. The best / worst / scariest / most empowering part? You’re already choosing.
I’m not just talking about the obvious success outcomes either, you understand. The money, the body, the fame, the freedom.
I’m talking also about all of those interesting BELIEFS you have … you know … the ones you choose? Hint … you choose ALL your beliefs!
Yes, the struggle is real.
Yes, success requires pushing and stretching and growing and that can HURT. You might BLEED. You WILL cry (guaranteed!). You might even die. That one’s kind of a no brainer anyway, eventually, so really, seeing as that’s the WORST that can happen, why not just decide to be okay with it. Okay okay, I don’t mean put DIE FOR YOUR DREAMS, but on the other hand, you know what?
You’re dying right now for whatever you ARE giving your life for.
Might as well die for your dreams! Aka might as well start LIVING for them!
But struggle, yes, it’s real, it’s there, and it will NEVER end.
And the point is …?
Why make such a song and dance of it?
Why focus on how HARD it is, what a SACRIFICE it is, how much EFFORT you have to put in and how nobody will EVER feel your pain? I mean look, I GET the whole pain can be pleasure thing. I do. I’m actually quite the ‘some like it rough’ kind of gal, in terms of how I push myself in business, in fitness, in life.
But you see MY point, don’t you?
Find the joy in the pain. If it’s really SO FREAKING AWFUL that you have to constantly whinge about the struggle and how HARD it is, then why not just … stop?
Quit.
Oh, what’s that now; you don’t want to quit and you DO want the outcomes you’re chasing?
Then STOP BEING SUCH A BLOODY SOOK.
In the gym.
As an artist.
In business.
In life.
Make a CHOICE to be okay with the pain, to even ENJOY the pain; the feeling of growing, stretching, expanding, and also to FOCUS on ease.
You do know, don’t you, that ease and flow can co-exist with pain and resistance?
As a matter of fact flow REQUIRES resistance and pain, for contrast if nothing else.
I guess what it’s really about is what are the choices you want to keep making here?
You can choose to believe that you can make the money you want … have the body you want … build the business you want … but that it’s going to come at this RIDICULOUS AWFUL PRICE and LOOK everyone at how hard I worked, what I gave up, what I DID!
Or you can yes be PROUD of your efforts and what you DID give but your FOCUS can be on the joy … the creation … the never-ending awesome even whilst sometimes awful quest for flow and unleashing your true work into the world.
Ease is a choice.
Flow is a choice.
Going WITHIN is a choice, instead of reacting, always, eternally, distractedly, to everything around you.
Going within, let me tell you, is the most critical thing you can do each day.
Going within to ask yourself what you really want.
Going within to ask yourself what you really need.
Going within to REMIND yourself what it’s all about.
And going within to kick your own ass.
We can all do with a little self-inflicted asskickery from time to time … most of the time!
Honestly?
I kick my own ass every day. To do my writing. To create more. To workout hard. To eat in a way that feels great for me. To engage as a Mum. To breathe and make space. To hustle. To show up. To pour love into my business, my tribe, my life. To live my freaking DREAMS!
In a nice way but also if needed in a downright smacktalk aggressive sort of way. And since we’re being honest and all, the latter is what I need most. I’d even say that being HARD on myself IS the nice way! After all … I care about my results.
Do you?
(Care about yours I mean … I do appreciate if you care about mine as well; but really this is about you. And me. Okay, both of us!)
Do you care about your results?
Are you GIVING yourself the tough love you need?
Are you REMINDING yourself daily that what you’re LIVING for now is what you’ll DIE with tomorrow?
And is the reality of that something you can sit comfortably with, or does it freak you the freak OUT right now?
And if it freaks you out?
How do you deal with that my friend?
Do you eat and drink and run and hide? Do you stuff it down? Do you push it away? Do you SHY away from just being freaking HONEST with yourself, from accepting what a bloody SOOK you’ve been and getting back – or to! – doing the work?
Or do you face into it?
A handy tip for you, if success is something that interests you:
Those who succeed might HAVE a bloody sook from time to time (I know I do!) but they are not living life AS a bloody sook. They face into it. Daily. They stare resistance in the eye. Daily.
And they do the work anyway.
Daily.
Do you?
There’s always a reason, if you want to go looking for one, to not take action.
A conversation I had yesterday; a client new to online business; a good reason to NOT take action now, that reason being uncertainty and feeling messy with her message and how will it make money anyway?
I empathised with her. Deeply. Because I’ve been there and I know.
And my advice?
“Give up then. Quit your business.”
I said it deliberately to either piss her off or propel her (or both!), but also because, what else is there to say?
Oh, so it hurts … you’re not sure … you don’t know how … it makes no sense … what if this … what if that … I’m not clear enough yet … I’m not ready … it just doesn’t feel like it’s WORKING … GIVE ME PROOF AND A PROVEN SYSTEM!!
Now the reality is, this client knows all this. She GETS it. She’s NOT someone who expects to get a proven system for success.
Yet she was giving in to all that bullcrap anyway.
I don’t say this to highlight her as having a problem because I’ve done the EXACT SAME FREAKING THING more times than I could ever possibly count. As have ALL successful people. Again, the DIFFERENCE between those who make it and those who don’t is that those who do ultimately DID do the work anyway.
So the only thing I could POSSIBLY say, since she HAD all the information and EVERYTHING she needed to do to take action (and let’s face it, you ALWAYS have enough information and the ABILITY – choice! – to take action), was –
Give up then.
Quit.
Like the rest of the world.
Because this is where the whingy bloody sooks are separated from those who want it badly enough to claim it.
My client falls into the latter camp. She wants it. My words triggered her but she was GRATEFUL for them, and they propelled her into immediate action. So much so that within an hour she’d done something we’d been talking about for 2 months.
Funny 🙂
Or not.
It’s not going to get easier, okay? Not in the sense that you can FIGURE OUT more what you need to know or how to be sure or how to get over the BULL in your head that’s stopping you.
But it will get easier if you choose to BELIEVE in ease.
If you choose – daily! – to do the work no matter how you feel about it.
If you choose to show UP each day, in all of the areas of your life that matter to you.
And if you choose to stop being SUCH a bloody sook about it and just act as though you truly give a damn.
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