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Success Mindset

THE DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER

I put a lot of posts up showing how into my life, my biz, my fitness and my chosen location-free lifestyle I am. Despite the fact that most of what I ‘do’ is work with entrepreneurs what I show goes far far beyond just what I do to make money. I LIKE showing what I’m doing to have my version of it all, and create the extreme business, extreme fitness, extreme life that I’ve always dreamed of and now get to LIVE.

But what I don’t talk about so much is the inevitable ‘downs’ that come with the ups …

Take this picture for instance. I was happy to walk into the gym and see that nobody was there and I could have my own private sweat session, so I took a selfie and planned to put it up with words to that effect. What it didn’t occur to me to share though, was that a big part of the reason I was happy to see the gym empty was that I really just wanted to scream and shout and cry.

I already DID my “workout” for today this morning 10 hours ago. Smashed out a killer weights circuit and felt great for it! But this, this was not really about training. This session was SELF-PROTECTIVE.

It’s one way I’ve learned to deal with the devil that is always, near to daily if NOT daily, on my shoulder.

Telling me I’m not good enough –

I haven’t done enough –

I’ll never BE done –

And that it’s all.too.much.

It’s the same devil that tempted me with bulimia on and off for 10 years (and mostly won) … until eventually I learned to understand this disease of self-control, and how to move past it.

Never over it, you understand, but past it; yes, I suppose so if only in a practical sense.

It’s the same devil that tormented me through several years of absolute hell-born insomnia when my first marriage ended at 26. I was lucky to get an hour of sleep a night; sometimes not that. For 3 years. I honestly do marvel at how I stayed alive, but then again the devil was there to help me escape at night with a lot of wine, and a lot of binge eating, and during the days I kept very, very, very, busy.

Escaping from who I didn’t want to be and running towards I didn’t know what.

And now, well now the devil on my shoulder plays with me in the same old way, with the same old taunts, and the same old anxiety rises up.

I struggle with anxiety.

Daily.

I don’t talk about it because hey! Successful people have all their shit together, right? Well, no …

And the truth is I DO share pretty transparently about my shit; maybe too much so! But this, to be honest, I’ve not wanted to acknowledge as something real and maybe I still don’t, because seriously Kat! Get over it. It’s just a bit of crazy-adrenalin-go-go-go driven stress and you just need to chill!

Well, actually that’s true.

I DO go like a bat out of hell all day and most of the night as well! I LOVE it; I could never live any other way. I read a quote today that cracked me up, in a novel, said by the mafia boss character:

“Hobby? I don’t have hobbies. If I do something I do it for REAL.”

Yes.

1000x yes!

So yes, it is a REAL thing that I need to ‘chill’ and it’s not something that comes naturally, largely because for years – 10-15 of them, the WAY that I chilled was:

I binge ate, then purged.
Or I drank.
Or I just.worked.more.
And then I didn’t sleep.
And then I repeated.

So now, to this day, when it’s finally ‘my time’ and I sit down with a book or just to relax, the devil on my shoulder is there telling me –

“The EASIEST and most EFFECTIVE thing would be to eat, you know …

More –

And more –

And more.

Ice-cream. Chocolate. Cake. Whatever. Eat it all then let it out and get that SWEET release. Escape. Hide. DISAPPEAR to a place where nobody and nothing can touch you.”

Of course the devil doesn’t tell you about the shame and loathing that always follows. It does a damn fine job of convincing you it will be fine, just this one more time!

But now I say no.

And no.

And no.

Again. Because that, that’s behind me now and GOD knows it was the toughest fucking thing in my life to break the hold of. And sometimes I automatically say no, I don’t have to think about it, but other times I really DO want to give in.

And escape.

Run.

And hide.

Release the build-up, and find calm; even for a moment.

The thing is, saying no to the sabotages of my past is also saying no to the instant release. If you’ve an addictive personality and you’ve ever abused that, you’ll know what I mean.

Food.
Alcohol.
Mindless trash entertainment in excess.
Sex.
Whatever it is.

It’s a QUICK release.

Saying no to that stuff, the sabotag-y version of it, is admirable. The only problem is it leaves the devil still there, politely waiting, refusing to leave, and infuriatingly REMINDING you that until you do something about it?

It and its bag of anxiety-ridden fears ain’t going anywhere.

There is another way though.

What I’ve learned, is that you can live with the anxiety and oft-on-the-brink-of-meltdown lifestyle of the driven entrepreneur who just wants more.

Firstly, know that you are not alone. And it’s not your fault.

It is VERY fucking common to struggle with anxiety as an entrepreneur, as a creator, as a leader.

It needs to be talked about more.

The ANSWER is not that you should fucking DO less. People who don’t get it, don’t get you, will assume that.

“You need to slow down!”, they’ll tell you.

“You’re too hard on yourself … you take on too much … be realistic!”

No.

I’d sooner just quit the whole fucking thing now than not be who I am and who I AM is this.

Crazy.
Driven.
Creator.
Leader.
Who never.
Can.
Or will.
Be done.

So, know that who you are is OKAY and everybody has their areas of struggle.

Next, accept that your shitty thing is real. Don’t ignore it. Don’t fucking binge or otherwise run and hide your way through an entire decade and possibly a lifetime, because it WILL MAKE IT WORSE, and you KNOW that, and also it’s a ridiculous waste of time 🙂

So, what can you do?

Stare the beast in the eye.

For me, when the anxiety comes to taunt me, and the devil is riding firm on my shoulder, I can’t breathe.

I feel scared. Angry. As though I’m trapped in a bag; I have a desire to flail my limbs around to get out.

I want to RUN.

I used to run with food.
Or wine.
Or more, more, more work, to the point where I would work 16-hour days with maybe one 15-minute break, back when I ran my own personal training business.

Now, I still run.

By which I mean I actually fucking RUN.

I don’t go to the gym twice a day because I’m obsessed with my body (although I am!), I go because it grounds me. Because if I try and lay still and ‘breathe deep’, I can’t, and I get more panicked. But if I go and SWEAT then it causes me to need to breathe.

I RELEASE.

Sometimes, like today, I cry when I’m sprinting.

It’s okay to cry you know.

It’s okay to need a release.

It’s okay to be human.

You don’t HAVE to have all your shit together, all the time.

My goal is not to be anxiety-free, although that would be nice. But my goal, my focus, is simply to keep my eye on the prize of the life I desire that I’ve chosen, and to SUPPORT myself through that.

Exercise is one way.
Fun and adventure and cool social stuff another.
Having a massage or some other form of self-care can help.
Going on a long walk in nature, and just working the mental AUGH out is great.
Eating more good fats, as well as foods high in magnesium and tryptophan also helps, from a nutritional and hormonal standpoint.
Writing is another.

And sometimes, quite honestly, nothing really helps, and I just ride it out.

Which is all that any of us can ever do, really!

It doesn’t make you a bad person to struggle.

And just as we each need to own our AWESOME we each need to own the areas of who we are that are not so fun, and find a way to dance with them.

I hope my post today helps you a little, to dance with whichever devil sits on your shoulder.

Remember –

Life is Now. Press Play! 

Kat x

PS.

I’m excited to announce my Flow-Led Millionaire Private Client Mastermind Days are back, happening this August (PM me for full deets!) 

Warning! This Mastermind will require you to get TF over your hang-ups around:

* Automated income

* Being seen more, and more boldly

* Adding layers upon layers upon layers of more SELLING

* Ruthless repurposing and re-selling

* Structure, systems, process

* Building a cash machine which pays you on repeat regardless of whether YOU are grinding your fingers to the bone to get it working!

Requirements:

You have an existing business which makes money, delivers a fabulous product or service (or multiple of!) which helps people, you know who you are and who you’re here to serve (while always welcoming deeper clarity!), and you have a proven track record for getting results to those people … even if it’s on a scale, so far, which, frankly, you consider outrageous. Since you know you’re here to do insanely big work in the world!

Oh, speaking of which – you know you’re here to do insanely big work in the world! And you’re ready to put the wheels on that NOW, and see your revenue – your growth of soulmate audience – your soul-led result-gettin’ systems – and all in all your own badassery – explode, stat!

You’re not afraid of doing the damn work (duh),

but you also know that there’s a simpler way, a more flow way, a more YOU way.

And you’re ready to get down to the nitty gritty of that now, and then roll it out like the take no prisoners mofo you are.

All with me – secret counsel to the worlds most elite game-changers, leaders, and revolutionaries – supporting you to know exactly what to do,

and exactly how to do it,

so you make MORE money,

reach MORE (of the right people),

the YOU way,

having more fun and flow than you ever dreamed possible,

and finally knowing you’re all in on you,

Now!

What you get out of this time together is simple:

* Identified opportunities for money-makin’ – minimum 3, up to 10+ (this is normal in these conversations with me)

* Specific to you simple soulmate audience growth strategy, which you can roll out right away, and will often involve only ‘tweaks’ rather than having to DO anything dramatically extra

* Confidence and inner tools as well as practical steps for improving / adding to / setting up (depending where you’re at) your automated income / funnels 

* Personalised (to your personality / style / lifestyle / skillset) action plan for implementing

* Tweaks you can add in right away to increase sales on existing processes

* Daily / weekly ‘hustle flow plan’ individualised to you

All in all here’s what it comes down to:

>>> You will walk out with a complete action plan tailored to your business, very detailed and also very SIMPLE, with also a complete understanding of what you need to do and HOW to do it, to take you to the next major income level, and beyond.

This will include your next three offers (MINIMUM), up-sells, or funnel ad-ins, FULLY CREATED IN THE TIME TOGETHER!

Plus:

1:1 follow on support to help you implement and follow through.

I love doing this INTENSIVE deep dive work where we pull everything apart all at once, and then nail down the EXACT action steps for each person to take to get more paying customers and clients, who are soul-aligned, coming in NOW, who are also buying more things, because you’ve got all your damn shit in place!

This immersive day together is limited to 5-7 people per event. 

If this is speaking to you PM me here to apply / for more info!