News, Success/Success Mindset

Fancy Yourself a Badass? Best You Stop Playing So Small Then!


You know, I love all of the terms that we throw around in the kickass women entrepreneur community.

I love WORDS basically, and certain words have I guess a fun or a cool or an exciting energy to them –

Words that speak to ME, at the moment?

Words like badass … kickass … revolutionary obviously! … epic … awesome … incredible … fucking … 🙂 … the list goes on and on.

I think though, that sometimes when we throw these words around on such a daily and ‘without really thinking about it’ basis, we don’t actually stop to remind ourselves that SAYING THE WORD doesn’t mean we embody the word.

And of course your version of what might be ‘exceptional’ or ‘amazing’ is going to be totally different to mine, and to the next person’s, so it’s not by any means about me critiquing you and giving you the nod as to whether your actions match your vocabularly and how you profess to do business (life – you!).

But here’s what does matter:

When you look at how you’re doing business – life! – you! – do you feel like you’re living up to your own hype?

Not in a ‘what people think of you sort of way’, not at all! Who cares what people think! Fuck people! They’re the WORST, as Jerry would say!

But in a what YOU think of you sort of a way.

Of course maybe you don’t really stop and THINK about what you ACTUALLY think of yourself, because even though it sort of niggles at you, bites at you and eats away at you, the truth is?

You’d very much rather not have to face up to that right now thank you very much!

Because the truth is that for as much as you throw cool words around like so much candy, and as much as you even rant and profess and ‘make a stand’, you still feel like you’re SO not letting the real you out in the way you really could, or perhaps even should, in the sense that we all SHOULD be whoever we really are and we all SHOULD give ourselves permission to dream our actual dreams!

Can I ask you something?

Do you actually dream your real dreams?

When you think about whatever it is you’re working on right now, trying to get out there or done, or even what you’re stating it’s all ‘ultimately’ about, are you actually dreaming as big as you want, as big as is within you, and are you then LIVING from a place of just knowing that those big dreams?

Are coming to life.


It’s okay, you don’t have to answer right now. But I will say this:

Most of what’s thrown around on social media or the ‘net is hot air at best. Not deliberately, of course not! Anyone who bandies around expressions of greatness BELIEVES in that stuff, believes it is possible, RESONATES with the whole idea of it, and is, for the most part, DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO GET THERE.

But yet –

For the most part –

When you look at how they’ve progressed or changed, how they’re living their life, and to what extent they’re DOING THE WORK, over let’s say the past 30 or 60 or 90 days –

Doing actually fuck all to get there.

And when all is said and done you can have the coolest and most exceptional online vocab but if you’re not actually doing the work, then, well, you know what?

Your words mean shit.

And if you can’t actually look back over the past 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, YEAR, and say hell YES I’ve laid myself on the line for my dreams, well –


You’re not a badass.

And also, just based on the law of averages and HOW THINGS WORK?

It’s pretty unlikely that a month from now, a year from now, you’ll have changed anything.

So if you want to ‘be’ all of the stuff you talk about being, if you want to be able to define yourself by the stuff that you resonate with and LONG for, then at some point you’re actually going to have to start EMBODYING that stuff, you know?!

So let’s talk about how to do this.

Because the LAST thing I mean this post to be is just having a go at you for blowing hot air all over the internet, or trying to align yourself with something you’re not embodying.

The truth is?

I did this for years!

I ALWAYS resonated with words like the ones I used above, and you can add in a whole bunch more –

I wanted to be RAW, REAL, from the heart. I wanted to be fully AUTHENTIC. I wanted to be a LEADER. I wanted to start a fucking MOVEMENT. In fact all of the stuff that I embody pretty well now (although still ALWAYS and forEVER evoloving!) I dreamt of for YEARS first!

But was I doing it? Hell no, not really, and really if it’s not really then it’s kind of not at ALL, y’know.

You can’t be a kind of badass 🙂

But I was doing as best as I could, and the reality is I didn’t know what I didn’t know, and I was trapping myself with SO many rules most of which I didn’t even realise I was following along with!

It was all just a big old mess, and not one I regret at all, because ultimately my mess became my pathway which got me to HERE!

But along the way, at certain points, there were revelations or ‘aha moments’ or in some cases key people or ideas who helped me shift something big FAST and sometimes jump ahead by LEVELS instead of battling every little part of moving myself forward.

So when I write these posts every day, like I do, and I just tune in to what needs to be said, of course my first motivation is I NEED TO WRITE, but beyond that it’s with the hope that I can in some way help you jump a few levels, clear a HEAP of shit, and basically just move forward FASTER. Sure, you’re still going to have to learn your own lessons and you’ll still look back at the MESS you made! That’s unavoidable.

But maybe I can save you some of it, in some way.

So let’s talk about this.

Let’s say, you want to TRULY know you are being a kickass badass completely AUTHENTIC revolutionary fucking leader, creating an EPIC business and living an INCREDIBLE life, completely on your terms.

Or, you know, words to that effect 🙂

How would you do that?

Well the good news is we can actually make a plan for you to do that! Just think of it as your plan of badassery.

Step One: What Do You Actually MEAN?

Okay, so when you talk about ‘awesome’ or ‘kickass’ or ‘epic’ or ‘EXTRAORDINARY’ what does that actually mean TO YOU? When did you last FULLY define it? It doesn’t have to be scary, you know, to really own EXACTLY what you want! And by the way, it’s okay if you don’t yet fully KNOW what you want; the defining never ends! But you can sure as hell bet that if you don’t specify SOMETHING then you’ll pretty much end up with NOTHING, and stating how ‘badass’ you are will mean, well, fuck all!

Action: grab your journal and go hell for leather whatever comes to mind (no filter!) writing down what would truly ROCK for YOU, in your business as well as in your life.

Repeat it: Pretty much DAILY, in some form. Too hard? NO DREAM LIFE OF BADASSERY EPICNESS FOR YOU!

Step Two: Why Do You Give a Fuck?

Okay so I get the whole ‘wanna be a billionaire, so freaking bad’ thing, or whatever your COOL goals are, but why do you actually WANT it? Why do you give a damn, a fuck, a hoot? If you can’t define it you can BET you won’t create it, ’cause, well – it’s going to mean WORK you know! And you won’t do that if you don’t have a damn good reason to!

Action: For each dream goal, write out your WHY YOU GIVE A FUCK. Can’t come up with one? Delete the goal! Boom! See how I just saved you all that time and mental focus! YOU ARE WELCOME!

Step Three: Does it Matter More Than the Shit You Currently ARE Giving a Fuck About Instead?

It’s really simple: if you don’t have a particular goal already brought to life, then it just means you want whatever you’re currently focused on and therefore creating MORE! Of course doing the above steps can help. But in the end, you still have to decide: what do you want MORE, this or that? Sometimes you can have both! But there will still be SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP, always.

Action: Is getting to your version of #badassery worth whatever you have to sacrifice, struggle through, deal with in order to get there? Not sure? DELETE THE GOAL BITCH!

Step Four: Do You GOTS to Have it Now?

Look, if it’s not URGENT AND PRESSING AND YOU MUST MAKE IT HAPPEN NOW OR YOU WILL DIE BITCH DIE then odds are? You’re not going to make it happen.

Action: So let’s just be honest: Is it a must? It’s either a HELL YES or it’s AUTOMATICALLY a HELL NO so let go of it!

Step Five: How Would You Be Acting Today “If”

Okay, so you want the goal, you need the badassery, you have to have it and now if not sooner, and you’re willing to do ALL that it takes! So why don’t you have it? Let me make it easy:

Action: if you were ALREADY that badass bitch and you already LIVED that way and HAD IT ALL on your terms, then how would you NOW be acting? If you want to GET there you have to act FROM there, okay! Not TOWARDS there!