Haven’t Created Your Dream Life Yet, Despite Working So Hard? Here’s Why.


Succeeding in business and indeed in life in general is hard work! If you don’t have crystal clear clarity and frequent reminders of why you’re in this game of ‘living life on your terms’ and what it’s really about beyond just ‘making a living’, I guarantee you will never achieve the success you’re capable of. We are motivated by things that matter to us on an emotional level, and for this reason it’s crucial that you frequently ‘check in’ with yourself.

The first step in creating your dream business and life, is always to be clear on what you want. It seems so obvious, but think about it –

When was the last time you reminded yourself of what your business and life, once ‘ideal’, would look like?

I’m sure that when you started out you took some time to think about your reasons for getting into business, but even then – how much detail did you go into?

I find that so many people have, (somewhat astonishingly) never taken the time to get clear on ALL the outcomes they hope to achieve with their business. Of course I say it’s astonishing, but I’ll be honest – when I first started building my online business I certainly had ideas about why I wanted to do so, but they were actually quite vague. I don’t think I ever initially sat down and detailed the exact money, creativity, lifestyle, time and so on…goals that I wanted my business to help me achieve. Instead I kind of just threw myself into it, with little or no strategy and then for the next several years I simply kept on pushing myself to churn out ever-more blog posts and eBooks or courses and to ‘keep up’ with the so-called rules of running a profitable online business. There were certainly many occasions when I would journal or otherwise dream about the life and business I wanted to create but in many ways I felt like I didn’t have time to stop, slow down, and just think.

There was also some fear there, that if I mapped out and stated aloud what I REALLY wanted then I would in some ways jinx myself or else I’d have to admit that I’m not capable of having what I really want. It’s only now, looking back, that I can see that. At the time I was simply so caught up in doing that I didn’t even think of taking deliberate time away to think and just be. Life felt like a race and I was determined to win! I wasn’t going to stop and check the map or make sure I was on the right course; I didn’t have time for that!

Right now, what is your approach to creating what you really want in your business and life?

Are you hurtling through busy day after busy day, determined to keep up and achieve something but yet not stopping to really make sure you’re on the right path and that you actually know what you want to achieve?

Do you have general ideas about creating more money, more time, more choice, and more freedom and ‘living your dream’? Or have you mapped out exactly what you want in each area of your business and life?

Can you tell me, in details, what your dreams are? What you’re here to create?

Or are you just hoping that by spinning your wheels so fast you’re bound to end up somewhere fabulous?

I can tell you that if that’s the case you definitely will end up somewhere! But where it will be is likely MORE stressed out, more overwhelmed, busier than ever, and, despite any financial or other success you may achieve, you’ll still feel as though you have to keep pushing because you don’t feel as though you’ve made it.

If you want to not only feel as though you’ve made it, but know that you are on path for true success on your terms, if you want to wake up every morning feeling motivated, energised and inspired because you just love your business and life so much, if you want to actually achieve massive and consistent results, then you need to start with one very important detail –

You need to take the time – right now – to define or redefine what you want, and you also need to take the time to figure out why you want what you say you want.

This means not only dreaming big but being willing to feel the fear that comes with stating your goals aloud; the fear of ‘what if it doesn’t work’, or ‘what if I don’t have what it takes‘. The fear that comes from knowing that if you actually fully verbalise what you want you will have to face up to the fact that right now the way you’re doing things has to change. The fear of knowing that chasing your true dreams might be uncomfortable, hard work, might mean having to let go of the way things are working (or not working, as the case may be!) right now.

Are you ready?

Are you willing?

If so, I suggest you do the following exercises right away. Reading through them is not going to be especially transformative, and telling yourself you’ll come back and do them later is pretty much a surefire guarantee you don’t get around to them. So pull out your journal and a pen, or open a new file, and let’s get to work.

Let’s start dreaming bigger than big about what you want to create in your business and life, and why!

We’ll begin with broad strokes…

What do you want from your business and life?

Write about whatever comes to mind, just write in general terms for now. You might like to do this by writing a bullet-point list, or you may prefer freehand. Either way is fine. If you only write a few lines, that’s fine, and if you keep going for page after page that’s fine as well!

Time to go deeper … this is where we look at not only what you want (usually not too hard to define if you push yourself to get specific) but also why you want it. Your ‘why’ for your goals is your underlying, or deeper, motivation, for what you want to achieve.


Let’s talk money first. The big one! How much of it do you want to make? By when? Be specific!

Here’s the thing: there’s no point in writing down ‘I want to make a million dollars’, unless you know why you want it and what for. The very best way to work out your money goal (and I like to work no further in advance than 6-12 months) is to actually take the time to write down how much money you need to achieve your ‘musts’ as well as your dreams. Here are the things you’ll want to consider:

  • Business expenses
  • Taxes
  • Life expenses
  • Fun and adventure
  • Treats and indulgences
  • Travel
  • Giving
  • Unexpected expenses
  • Savings
  • Paying off any current debts

Yes it will take a few hours to work all of this out! But wouldn’t it feel amazing to have a clear picture of how much money you actually need each month in order to live your dreams? I promise you that you will feel so energised from doing this, as well as extremely motivated to know what you’re working towards. And if your number is high, don’t be daunted. Know that you have a far greater chance of hitting a high number you’re actually aiming for than of hitting something you’re not aiming for and haven’t taken the time to define! Better to aim crazy high and make it halfway than to not set a goal, for fear of not achieving it, and then not make it even a quarter of a way!

Framing your money goal: it’s important that you frame your money goal as though it’s already true. If you state your goal as ‘I hope’ or ‘in 6 months I will be‘, then you project that goal into the future, and it stays there forever! Instead, write your goal in the present tense and be open to receiving ‘this or something greater’. For example, instead of writing –

In 6 months from now I want to make at $5000 a month, write –

I am so happy and grateful that I am now making at least $5000 a month, for the greater good of myself and of others.

Can you see how much more positive that sounds? Adding gratitude at the beginning is very powerful, in fact it’s scientifically proven that practising gratitude improves your life! This is one of the very few metaphysical or manifestation practices that is actually proven by science to be true. Personally I’m quite happy to practice the power of positive thinking and belief with or without the science telling me I should, as I’ve seen the benefits firsthand. But it’s still nice to know!

Let’s break down what else is in that statement –

Instead of saying I want, you are saying I am. When you state something as real and already true, your sub-conscious mind starts to believe it and then act upon it. Of course you also need to take the practical action to achieve those results, but the results when you combine your thoughts with your actions are astounding.

Adding at least to the goal means you are open to receiving that goal or MORE. Why would you limit yourself when you don’t have to? Always add at least or, this or something greater.

Finally, and this is up to you of course, but I like to add for the greater good of myself and others. I think it’s nice to include a positive reason for achieving your income goals and you can’t very readily type out all the things you want to spend your money on each time you write or state the goal!


If you don’t set specific goals around time and how much of it you want to go where as well as how much you hope to have left over, I can promise you that you’ll find you don’t have any leftover, and worse still you’ll feel as though your time is being stolen constantly by things that don’t fulfill you. You’ll regularly bemoan the fact that you ‘don’t have time’ for what you really want to do, even though the reality is that you’re simply not good at prioritising, and you’re not making time for what you really want to do!

The truth is that [pq] time does not control you, you control it. But that happens only by conscious choice. Make up your mind right now that from here on out time is under your thumb, and you are going to determine how it gets spent and how much is left over![/pq]

Answer the following:

How much time would you spend working/creating when your life is just right?

How much time would you spend with your family/loved ones?

How much time feels right to have ‘left over’ each day for relaxation or spontaneous activity or just doing nothing at all!

How much time do you need to allow for regular must-dos and appointments? (Note: be sure that whatever you put here really is must do. Dropping the kids at school is perhaps must-do, for example. Cleaning the house or folding clothes? That’s up for negotiation. Sometimes it’s better to outsource those things that are not a good use of your time. If you want to make time for the things that really matter to you, the only way to make that time is by taking it away from other activities! You can’t try and live your dreams in the cracks and crevices of an already busy life.

Where else would you like your time to go? On what? Write it all down!

And finally write down why you want to create that time for different things. For example, rather than writing –

I want to spend 4 hours a day working and 2 hours a day having family time, write –

I now spend 4 hours a day working, so that I can _____, _____ and _____, and I spend 2 hours a day having family time, because it’s important to me to ______

You may like to add ‘or more’, or ‘or less’, to your time related goals! Be sure to include in your time goals taking action on your big dreams and things you say you want but yet repeatedly put off!

Time and money are the ‘big’ things that every woman in business often feels she has little or no control over, and so it pays to set clearly defined goals around how you want those areas of your life to look. Here are some other areas where you will want to set specific goals as well as find your ‘why’:

  • Self; things that are ‘just for you’ for relaxation or fun, or hobbies
  • Health
  • Wealth (different to money! Has to do with savings, investment, and wealth creation)
  • Relationships
  • Fun and adventure
  • Free or ‘nothing’ time
  • Spirituality
  • Creativity
  • Spirit/life purpose
  • And anything else that is important to you

Remember the goal here is to dream big and to dream hard!

Don’t be afraid to write down what you truly want, but remember that you must also uncover the reasons why you want it. Without finding your why and then keeping it firmly placed in your conscious mind by regularly re-writing your goals and whys, you’ll find your natural pattern over time is to fall back into busyness and ‘keeping up’ with tasks and projects that don’t necessarily make a real difference in the sense that doing or achieving them is helping you to live your dreams.


3 responses to “Haven’t Created Your Dream Life Yet, Despite Working So Hard? Here’s Why.”

  1. Min says:

    First of all.. Thanks for this.

    Im just too worried in my so called “ life” that it gets me to search to google what to do, what you said is right, i have goals, but its not that clear, and you made me think i really need to go in details in step by step procedure. What’s happenning to me is: i am working towards my dream (i think i somewhat rely to luck) blindly, its not blindly really but i do the things that have less time to take than others, so my goal is stock up just like that because it needs more time that i put it last on my list. But i am aware of my goal and im stocking up the tutorials and basics that will help me towards my goal, saying to my self that “its great but i dont have time to read it now, maybe later” and so now it keeps growing and i did not read even one of that tutorials/books/basics. I just realize i am limiting my self. I’m actually slow too, so this will not sink in my head immediately but it did really help me so thanks really.

    -from incoming 3rd yr college