The Most Powerful Things I’ve Done to Create My Dream Biz and Dream Life

Wednesday was my 34th birthday. My plan was to do some journaling for myself – reset my goals and dreams and make a ‘before I reach 35’ plan of attack so to speak. But I was out shopping and having fun and generally just indulging myself on my birthday and as I sat down for a coffee it occurred to me – I’m already pretty clear on my goals.

What I need – what I think we ALL need from time to time – is to come back to some of the habits and truths around actually living and being engaged in my dream life everyday.

So I’ve written a reminder.

A letter to myself and to all the crazy-busy-A-type gals out there about what it really takes to create your dream business and life.

If you’re like me in that a) you DO want it all and want it NOW (if not sooner!) and –
b) you have a tendency to be, shall we say, slightly obsessed with Getting Things Done and Staying On Top –
– then have a read. It’s time to get to the heart of what you really need in your life to feel most alive, on purpose, in flow and passion-filled. These are the things I need for that, and I’ll bet a fair whack of them work for you as well.

Enjoy! And don’t forget to comment at the bottom with what you’d add to this list!

The first hour of the day is the most important. Do whatever you can to make it yours. Sacrifice sleep, leave the house a mess, bribe your partner or kids; whatever you need to do. If you can take the first hour for yourself and use it well you’ll enter each and every day feeling aligned, empowered, and ready to rock your life.

Use it wisely! The first hour of the day is not, I repeat NOT, for emails, Facebook, tidying up, finishing off a report or project, doing the grocery shopping, reading or watching trash, cleaning the house, preparing food (do it the night before or keep it simple), cleaning your kids, maybe not even for cleaning yourself. Here is what the first hour is for: making space for your dreams. THAT IS ALL. This might mean exercise (if it empowers you and makes you pumped for the day, otherwise do it later), journaling, going on a meditative walk, writing or otherwise creating, brainstorming, reading something inspiring, meditating, going for a coffee by yourself, sitting quietly outside with a coffee or perhaps all of the above.

Know what makes you come alive. I come alive when I write authentically and from the heart. When I let the words just flow. This usually happens after first reading something inspiring or uplifting such as on a favourite blog or in a well-loved book, followed by some journaling time and then – bang. Words and ideas start flowing into me. And I write. I write whatever needs to be said, without agenda and often without any purpose or strategy in terms of actually publishing or using what I write. I just – write. The activities that make you come aligned are those which, when you allow yourself to fully enter into them, make you lose track of time, surrounding noise, people, your environment, even who you are. If you don’t know what those activities are, refer to points 1 and 2 and start making space for your dreams to filter into your consciousness.

Ruthlessly guard your time against musts and shoulds. There is no rule that the washing must be folded or even done every day. You don’t have to answer every phone call, message, email or notification. You don’t have to have your kids or yourself in a million different activities. You don’t have to ‘go’ grocery shopping (you can do it online). You don’t have to stay up to date with the news or the TV shows. You DO have to make time for the things that will move you closer to living your goals and dreams as your everyday reality. Which means –

You need to take the time to know what you really want from life. If you have no freaking ideas? Back to point #1 and #2. Start giving yourself time to figure that out! It WILL come to you but only when you start seeking the answer and also taking immediate action. Sometimes you gotta have a whole lotta faith before you have a whole lotta clue about what you’re having faith FOR.

Quit. Quit quit quit and then quit some more! You do NOT have to do anything just because you started it, because you said you would, heck even if you made a blood oath. This is your life and you have daily power and choice over how you invest it. If something’s not gelling, if it’s not moving you closer to creating those big dreams and goals, if it just doesn’t feel right, if it’s not aligned with your values and what’s important to you? Can it sister.

‘Cause let’s be honest. Right now, you’re investing never-to-be-repeated moments of your life. I don’t mean that every moment should be action packed and productivity filled. Not at all! But it should be of value. To you. If you’re spending a few moments on this, a few moments on that, all of the while telling yourself ‘it’s just a few minutes’ – that’s a whole bunch of minutes that can very easily add up to a lifetime NOT spent on doing, being and having what you need.

Step away. The sky will not in fact come crashing in if you stop and look around once in a while. To the contrary, it’s often only by stepping away that you will see things as they need to be seen. That you’ll find objectivity, a fresh approach, even some of your best ideas and moments of clarity. So step away. Go for a walk in nature. Have a picnic. Cloud gaze. Go to a cafe and just sit. Be. My beautiful friend Leonie Dawson told me recently (just after I gave birth last week) that she’d had a dream that it was very important for me to stop doing and to start being. That it was my time to start being. I love this. And perhaps you can join me, perhaps it can be both of our times to start stepping into just being who we are. Which reminds me –

Know who you are, and what you both need and want. This is not always obvious stuff. And of course it will change time and time again. But here’s the thing – you’ll only get to those deeper layers about who you are, what you need, what matters to you and indeed how you need to live in order to be happy and aligned – if you start investigating a little bit. So don’t be afraid to look within. Don’t be scared of having to admit to yourself that certain parts of your life are not working. Sometimes it’s an easy fix and sometimes it’s one that will upheave lives, perhaps even more than just your own. At the end of the day – you do know deep within you what’s working for you and what’s not. So step off that ledge. Have faith. You don’t always need to know what’s ahead or beneath before you jump.

Writing your goals out works. I don’t know if it matters if you break them down into bite size action tasks, although I think it does help. But at the very least you must get in the habit of regularly writing down your goals and dreams. The way I do this is to write down everything I want to be, everything I want to do, everything I want to have. I redo this process every month. I create or update my vision board each month based on what I write. I look at it daily, as it’s the background for my computer desktop. And I also re-write my top 5 big life dreams and goals out most mornings, which takes 2 minutes. 2 minutes to remind me what I’m doing, what this is all really about, what I’m here for. The more often you bring your goals and dreams into your consciousness, the more rapidly they will become your reality.

My Vision Board

Be surrounded with energy, positivity, and support from people who are on the same page as you. It’s so important to have a support group. I really think that all of us driven ladies need a female support group, either of real-life friends or online friends. The larger masterminds online can be great, but small ones can literally be transformational. I’m part of a mastermind with less than 12 members, all women entrepreneurs doing amazing things in the world; creating their dream lives. Being in this group daily not only elevates my thinking about what is possible for me and my business, but it is an incredible source of friendship, fellowship, sharing, love and wisdom. Put your own group together if need be but find your sisterhood.

It’s okay to rant! It’s not as though I sit around with my online (or offline) friends always filled with positivity, love and light 🙂 Sometimes we rant. Sometimes we whinge, bitch, moan. Sometimes just to let it out. Sometimes to ask for help. You don’t have to be perfect. You can be a happy person without being a Stepford Wife.

Oh yeah – and you don’t have to be perfect. At anything.

Also. It’s okay to change your mind. On anything. Anytime. And you don’t have to explain yourself to anybody else, not even to yourself. You don’t have to write lists of pros and cons and make a sound and logic based decision. You’re allowed to just follow your gut. So get used to checking in with it.

And finally. Life really is now. This is all we have. This moment, right now, as you sit and read, this is part of your journey. So all of those hopes and goals and dreams and wishes that you delay for one day, for when you’re less busy or when you’re just a little bit more organised? Now is one day. This is it baby. So if it matters? Start doing it. No matter how busy you are, no matter how uncertain you are, no matter how much you or anybody else tells you that it’s not possible, not the right time, not how it’s done, always always remember that you CAN do anything you want, be anybody you choose, have whatever your heart desires. And you can start now.

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