News

Lessons Learned from 5 Days in Hospital

So. Some news. I’ve been in hospital since very early Sunday morning. This is my little space –

photo 5

(Should have shot the view, it’s pretty nice :))

Short version

I am okay and my baby is okay. We are being monitored and at this stage will be let out tomorrow. I haven’t mentioned this publicly before now because it just didn’t feel right or necessary, and I wanted to kind of bunker down internally as well as not freak everyone else out by saying what happened before I had any answers. Mentally, emotionally and even physically I am doing really well and in fact it’s been a week of positivity and learning for many reasons, which is why I’m now writing this post. As well as, I just feel I need to now; I don’t know why.

Long version

Very early Sunday morning I woke up in a flood of blood. I was 24 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I felt something was wrong, turned on the lamp and stood up, and watched a lot of really freaking scary stuff rush and fall out of me. It was one of the most heart-stopping moments of my life; I remember screaming ‘no, please God, no’ and then freezing, not sure what to do next; barely able to think about how to get to my phone let alone who to call. As luck would (not) have it, it was the one night in my whole pregnancy in which Enzo was away overnight with Alyssa, just an hour or so away down the coast staying with family for a family birthday. I’d been working over the weekend so hadn’t gone.

It was about 2am, but my parents picked up quickly and were straight out the door to come and get me. It hadn’t even occurred to me to call an ambulance, but when I phoned my hospital to tell them they instructed me to do so straight away, which I did. I was practically begging the emergency nurse to reassure me on the phone, which she did a little bit. But there’s not a lot of reassurance to be had at 2am when your body, bedroom and bed looks like a crime scene and all you can do is wait.

I don’t know how long the ambulance took – maybe 10 minutes? – but I was frozen. The only non-terror thought I could think was ‘don’t forget your phone charger!’ I’d been in emergency twice over the prior 3 weeks for small blood loss, both times not admitted just scanned and checked, and the second time I’d ended up with a dead phone and no internet for 6 or 7 hours, unable to contact Enzo or anybody, and my requests for a phone forgotten in the midst of the more serious emergencies which kept coming in. On the flipside, I wrote my entire latest Amazon best-seller (The 5 Minute Weight Loss one) that day. Through a cloud of tears. When I don’t know what to do, I write πŸ™‚

Anyway … the ambulance girls were great. Reassuring without making any promises. My parents met us at the hospital, and I was taken straight through. It had been about 40 minutes since I woke up by then, and the singular thought in my mind was on waiting for that moment when they would check for the heartbeat. You can imagine my relief when they found it quite quickly. This was just the first step of course, I was hooked up to a drop, given some steroids in the butt just in case of early labour, and waited on the doctor to come and do a scan. Around this time Enzo arrived with a sleeping Alyssa over his shoulder; just before the doctor came in.

The good news was she couldn’t find any obvious cause of such a serious bleeed. The disconcerting news was … she couldn’t find the cause.

It’s now Wednesday morning and that’s pretty much still the story. I was admitted to the ward around 6am Sunday morning and at this stage will be released tomorrow. After the big event I haven’t had anything except a little light bleeding Sunday night and Monday morning, which is probably just residual from Saturday night.

The baby is in great shape according to the numerous scans and investigations I’ve had, it’s a good size (we don’t know the sex), and everything looks just as it should.

If you’ve experienced or heard of women who go through something similar, you may have heard of placenta previa. This is where the placenta ends up in the wrong position and it can be high risk of early labour. I don’t have this, which is fantastic news. The general conclusion at the moment is that I must have tiny tears in the placenta which are too small to be seen on ultrasound. It’s just one of those things – I questioned them about everything I’ve been doing and they said unless I’d been throwing heavy stuff around (which I haven’t), it’s not due to anything I’ve done. Again, great news, if somewhat disconcerting as it makes me feel a little bit like I don’t know what will happen next!

So.

What is a very driven and mentally active gal to do when holed up in a hospital bed for 4-5 days plus?

Rest, yes, of course. I’ve been having loads of sleep, reading a great Dan Brown novel, streaming New Girl on my iPad and flicking through some magazines. I’ve had tons of visits from family and some of my closest friends, and I’ve spent more time this week reading Facebook than what I normally would in several months. Alyssa has also been enjoying some chill-time when here!

photo 1 copy

photo 1

I’ve churned through copious amounts of my favourite parts of my work, including having some inspiring phone conversations with the health coaches who are part of my new mastermind for those who want to learn from and emulate my online success as well as connecting on and off all day with my own mastermind peers.

And I’ve been thinking. And writing. A lot. C’mon – what am I going to do, watch Dr Phil all day? Not likely!

And this next part will probably come off somewhat trite, but it’s really meaningful to me at the moment and I wanted to share it with you as well in case it gives you good pause for thought.

Lessons Learned from 5 Days in Hospital

Positive #1

If this week hasn’t proven it, then nothing will – I really can work how I want, doing what I want, and from anywhere in the world. I won’t say ‘anywhere I want’ in this case, as a temporary residence in hospital would never be a chosen option! But still. It’s pretty exciting to have it driven home to me just how successfully I’ve created my business so that IT has to mold to me, not the other way around.photo 2

(Getting ready to work from the hospital cafe – feel like I have a real routine here!)

Positive #2

I am so lucky – this week has been just as hard on Alyssa and Enzo as it has been on me, and WE are so lucky to have such an enormous and instant support community around us. The offers of care for Alyssa and ‘anything we need’ have come in from everyone who has heard what’s going on, and the amount of treats and entertainment options in my room speaks for itself!

Facetime is also a blessing πŸ™‚

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(Pancake parlour/hospital cafe breaky date this morning!)

Positive #3

The universe will really give you whatever you want, so be damn careful that you ask for what you want specifically. A few weeks ago I added to my dreamboard list to ‘go on a writer’s retreat by myself, somewhere where I can enjoy nature, sleep in, and not have to do anything except write and dream’.

Hmmm. Did I mention the stunning view of nature from the windows of the patients lounge? This photo doesn’t really do it justice, it’s really very beautiful.

photo 3

Positive #4

You can always find a way to make the best of a situation. This is the trite part. Cliches aside, what happened over the weekend was the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me, and I know there are many more horrible situations out there so in no way do I want to make light of that.

Right now, I am so proud of myself for knowing what I need to feel sane, happy and whole even in the midst of uncertainty and fear. I don’t know how I’d cope in an even scarier situation, but I know that if I hadn’t had my writing, my business, my support network and my journal here with me this week I’d be an absolute mess right now. Somewhat unsurprisingly, nobody who knows me has questioned why I am working in here. The nurses find it a little amusing, but even then they say it’s a smart diversion. My business is more than that – it’s part of me, and I’m so grateful to have something I make a great living from that I also love and would feel lost without, and don’t have to be without!

Positive #5

You don’t need everything you think you need in life. Yesterday I posted this on Facebook, and it obviously rang true with a lot of people.

Screen Shot 2013-05-29 at 10.13.11 AM

When I go home, I have until mid September in which I won’t be able to do much exercise at all, am not allowed to lift my child, and physically have to completely ramp down my normal life. Thank God my physical goals and needs aren’t my only ones; thank goodness I have more to me than that! As we all do πŸ™‚

Positive #6

I had one of the most light hearted and fun nights with my siblings and parents on Sunday night that I’ve had in ages. I don’t know, maybe I was still a bit dosed up πŸ™‚ But really – how often do you just sit around with your loved ones and just hang. And laugh. And do nothing.

photo 3 copy

#truecliches yeah? We need more of that.

Positive #7

The care here is amazing. And even the gluten-free menu options are mildly impressive for hospital food! I have had a nice ‘roommate’ the past 2 days and before that had a massive room to myself with a pretty great view, and constant care and attention. I’m in a public hospital as well, by the way. We are so blessed here in Australia to have such incredible hospital staff and I really want to commend both the individuals and the system for being so truly compassionate and attentive. I already felt great about giving birth here, but now I have no qualms whatsover.

photo 4

(Doesn’t look great but honestly not too bad)

photo 2 copy

(Breaky … less than impressive … this is the scaled down sugary version with additions via Enzo added!)

Positive #8

I feel completely and calmly assured that this baby – and me – are going to be okay. I have a deep sense of peace from all of this and I’m not scared of things going wrong. I’m aware that the road ahead may be a little turbulent, as there’s a chance this could happen again. But really, what road ahead can we ever predict anyway?

The one huge regret I have in all of this is that I’ve been told I’m not allowed to go to Thailand in 3 weeks for my sister’s wedding. This was on my mind ever since the incident, but I was given the hard word on it yesterday and to be honest, it’s devastating. I don’t think it will fully sink in until everyone else is jetting off and I’m sitting here not being there. There’s really nothing else to say there πŸ™

Positive #9

So much of the way we fill our time is really not that important. I’ve had to cancel meetings, visits, personal appointments, and even a conference which I was really looking forward to. All stuff I wanted to go to or attend, but at the same time still a great lesson that in order to be successful, productive, happy and whole I don’t need all that stuff in my life. I don’t need to spend my days running from one thing to the next, and in my business I more than likely do not need to try and learn and understand every new facet of social media, or optimisation, or web and product development right now, immediately!

I already know enough. I already am enough.

Positive #10

Stillness is always there, if you seek it. Yesterday I spent 25 minutes doing slow and gentle pregnancy yoga whilst gazing out the window. The madness of the hospital went on around me, including a somewhat bemused 20 something guy cleaning the vent above my head. The madness of the world always goes on. But you don’t have to join it.

Positive #11

Sometimes you really just do need to sit around, eat a ton of chocolate, watch some completely entertainment based TV, and hang out with your loved ones. Next time I’d appreciate not having such a brutal reminder of this of course πŸ™‚

So where to from here?

Nothing dramatic really. Tomorrow is (fingers crossed!) back to normal life, with an emphasis on less physical movement, and with – I hope – the inner reminder to stop and slow down just a little bit from the comfort of my own home and environment. The biggest take home from all of this, purely from a selfish point of view, is that it’s by pressing pause we can so often gain clarity about what we want and who we want to become.

For me there’s been a ton of clarity this week about shedding my label as a ‘fat loss and nutrition person’, and I’ve completely rebranded my website and business in my head as well as sent it to my support team to start planning. I’ve also mapped out a crazy amount of stuff for my new business peeps mastermind as I get ready to step up even more as an entrepreneurial leader and not just an example.

The reality for me of living with passion and loving my world, is that I am at my best when I am mentally active, creative, allowing myself to dream big and enact those dreams. So whilst I value rest and stopping – and have been engaging more than ever in both this week – you will never catch me stopping altogether. Even when it comes to that precious time of giving birth, there will be nothing in my business that ‘has to be done’ but I also would bet my bottom dollar that I will still be doing. Writing. Dreaming. Inspiring in my own way. And communicating and just – living life my way. Happy me, happy baby, happy life πŸ™‚

How cool is it to just know what you need to feel alive and free?!

And then there is the ‘just me’ stuff. The truth is I’m already pretty damn good at making space for my dreams, at journalling and planning and planning the next part of my dream business and life creation. But maybe I’ll now make a little more space for just hanging out and staying more in one place. Time will tell, hey?

Of course there still won’t be any Dr Phil in my land πŸ™‚

Life is Now. Press Play.

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22 Comments

  1. Esta says:

    Wishing you a most uneventful few months until you meet your little one. What a frightening experience. I hope all I’m ok from now on.

    1. Kat says:

      Thanks Esta x

  2. Lyn says:

    Wishing you lots of good health and blessings Kat. Such an awful thing to go through but you have proved you can handle whatever life throws at you. Rest up and take it easy, eat chocolate if you have to!
    Thanks for continuing to inspire us even when your down and out! That’s a sign of a true champ!

  3. Lisa says:

    What an amazing post Kat! Glad you and bub are ok, how scary! Thank you for a life changing, inspiring and so down to earth post. You are an inspiration and I truely believe you are changing peoples lives for the better, even if you have never met them. Never stop what you are chasing because you are changing the world one person at the time πŸ™‚ Again, Thank you and I wish you and your family nothing but greatness! xo

  4. Oh Kat, how terrifying!!! Thank goodness all seems just as it should be with your baby – you must be incredibly relieved! I also believe both you and your baby will be just fine :-). Put it down to ‘just one of those things’!

    Take care and chat soon.

    Liz xx

    P.S. so sorry you can’t make your sister’s wedding πŸ™

  5. Chelsea says:

    It’s great to hear that you and your baby are ok after such a scare. I know exactly what that dread feels like and it’s fabulous the end result for you is a good one. Thanks for sharing with us and enjoy some feet up time. Take care

  6. Janette Hopgood says:

    Hoping all goes smoothly for the rest of your pregnancy and all OK now until then.

  7. Michelle Gabriel says:

    Well when life have you lemons you decided to make lemonade. Good luck Kat. I hope the next few months are less eventful but ends in a precious little bundle. Lots of hugs and prayers Michelle g xx

  8. SARAH says:

    How scary, im so happy that you both are okay
    I love how you highlighted all positives amongst a very scary and frightening situation.
    Its comforting to know that there really is always something to be grateful for. Thank you for reminding me of the small things.
    Enjoy the last stages of your pregnancy (hopefully uneventful) and i can’t wait to see what you churn out writing wise!
    Sending bootcamp beauty love!

  9. Kim says:

    Wishing you and your wee baby all the best x

  10. Tania says:

    Hi Kat

    Being 34 weeks pregnant myself, I can only imagine how frightening this experience would have been for you, especially being on your own at the time. I am so very happy and relieved to hear that you and your baby are ok, and your ability to focus on the positives is so good to read.
    I love reading your emails, FB posts etc and you and The Lean Chef keep me focussed on my longer term goals of fitness and nutrition, which can sometimes be hard to do when you are pregnant, working full time, and have 2 other children to look after!!
    So thankyou, you are a very inspirational person and I get a lot of motivation from what you do.
    Take care,
    Tania

  11. Lotty says:

    Sounds like a roller coaster few days, what a frightening experience but as always you have found the positive lessons in it – continuing to inspire even from your hospital bed. Keep well honey.

  12. Moz says:

    Hey chic!
    What a shock to hear the events of this past week. I sincerely hope that all goes well for you and your little family going forward. The positive attitude to life and family that both you and Enzo possess can only further enhance the current situation.
    Thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way.

    Take it easy….smell some roses

    Moz

  13. Helen says:

    I’d never have guessed, when speaking with you earlier! So admirable how you are able to do it all with such an amazing mindset x

  14. Anika says:

    You got me all teary! I’m very pleased you and your bub are ok. I look forward to hearing more from your space. Anika x

  15. Frances says:

    I hope that it’s smooth sailing from here on, wish I’d read this earlier in the day, I was there this morning helping a family member with their hosp app, Benita& I would have stuck our heads in 10 min! πŸ™‚ Glad to hear ur almost home, take care

  16. deb says:

    I wish for you a speedy recovery and a healthy pregnancy and birth of your little one. Life can be scary at times and I am glad everything turned out well in the end.

  17. Vicki says:

    Hi Kat,
    I am so glad to hear that everything is ok and that you are being so positive. I completely understand everything that you are going through – I spent 14 weeks on bed rest in hospital before my twins were born, and it was so unbelievably difficult and stressful. I only wish that I had had your post to inspire me back then! Wishing you all the best for the next few months – it will all be worth it in the end!

  18. Dee says:

    Oh Kat, I have just read this and am so glad you and bubs are ok. How devastating it must have been at the time. Look after yourself.

    Dee xx

  19. Taya says:

    oh Kat how scary mate :((( you must have thought you were in a surreal dream that night! And how amazing are you- still managing to pull out the best of your situation and bringing things to our attention that hit home. I am truly beginning to see to value of writing/journaling. The more you write the more you peel the layers and see what’s underneath. I feel SO bad for texting/emailing you with my petty binging crap while you were going through this. I’m sorry my ‘freak out’ ended up with you when you were going through hell! Much love to you Kat xx
    I love this blog and how you peeled and pulled back the layers to get to new ground. YOU amaze me everyday and inspire me that little bit more each time when I think how can anyone possibly do anything more to help me. It’s you my friend! I love it!
    Rest up, look after that bubba, enjoy your family- every photo of Alyssa is just gorgeous- you wanna eat her! She is the cutest!
    Talk soon Xxx

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