WHAT IF IT NEVER OCCURRED TO YOU THAT YOU COULDN’T FULFIL YOUR WILDEST FANTASIES?
When I was a kid, and right through my teens, it was expected that I would bring home only A’s on all schoolwork and tests or exams.
Wait, A’s? What the hell am I saying?!
A PLUS, duh, and where at all available (which it often was in Primary School), A+++.
Thank you very much.
It was just how it was in our family, my parents were both ‘dux’ (top) of their schools on graduation and it was how it had to BE that we would all also, always, be top of every class academically.
So naturally, I was.
I always got A+++.
I was always top of the class.
I can remember only ONE occasion in my entire 12 years of schooling where I got a ‘B’ and there is no fucking way in hell I would EVER have dropped below THAT.
The idea of even that B but certainly a C, D, or E was not only ABHORRENT but when I think back to how I would have felt about it at the time it was IMPOSSIBLE. It was, very much literally, just not an option.
I don’t remember having to try particularly hard to get A’s. I didn’t do extra study time. My parents weren’t drillmasters. I didn’t have a Tiger Mom lol!!
I just got A+++ etc because that was how it IS in our family, at least in academics.
Somewhat hilariously, considering how I ended up being a Personal Trainer for 13 years and am to this day fitness obsessed, sports was never considered important, and I typically got a C. I was also always picked last for sports. I was pretty unco-ordinated … and I tended to lose interest in team sports and not focus properly so mess it up for everyone.
I was GREAT at archery and shotput though 🙂
Anyway.
I thought – “I’m just not good at sports”, and “I’m just really intelligent” (well ….!), but here’s the thing:
My parents weren’t remotely sporty, and it was always known that sports doesn’t really MATTER while academic excellence is NON-NEGOTIABLE.
But like I said:
I didn’t try that hard.
I just got the grades I got and was always top because it was expected.
I finished schooling in the top 4% in the country, and I could have EASILY been in the top 0.1% – I basically didn’t lift a finger all throughout my final year, I was already slipping into the ‘I don’t think I want to live a normal life’ way of thinking, and I pretty much only went to about 40-50% of my classes. Fascinatingly, because I had a reputation amongst the entire teaching faculty as being a ‘good girl’ and the school square, when I started doing whatever TF I wanted in my final year or two, it somehow wasn’t even NOTICED.
I did stuff that NO other student would ever get away with. But my image as good girl and top student was firmly locked in, and it was like they didn’t see it. I was truly flabbergasted when at the end of Year 12 I received the Top Student award for every single academic class I’d been in – I’d barely gone to any of them!! I was always skiving off to the mall … and daydreaming and journaling!!!
Of course I did hand in all my assignments and I turned up to all final exams etc, but I did all the assignments? From about 10pm onwards the night before they were due. I’m talking assignments that were 40% of the grading and that you’d been given 3 months to do. As for exams, for my FINAL FREAKING SCHOOLING EXAMS, I remember ‘studying’ (aka quickly memorising some shit; I have a photographic reading / learning ability) in my Mum’s car on the way to each exam.
For my final school exams.
And it was a maybe 15-minute ride, MAX, to school.
So yeah … if I had wanted to I could have definitely improved on that top 4% of the country outcome!!
Wanna know somethng else?
In every.single.thing. I’ve ever done in my life before or since then, every thing that has MATTERED to me or that I’ve considered as important, I have EXPECTED to be #1.
It’s how it has to BE.
It’s who we ARE in my family.
And besides, my parents always told me I would be the MOST SUCCESSFUL of everyone and that I would achieve anything I set my mind to, and I?
Well I BELIEVED THEM.
I remember watching ‘Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion’ in my late teens, and there’s the guy who was the nerd, uncool etc, and he arrives super rich and successful and hot in a helicopter. I just ASSUMED that that’ll be me. I’ll be the one who is super rich, super successful, super fucking hot.
And?
I am 😉
Side note: I was SUPER fucking uncool growing up, felt really ugly and assumed I’d never be attractive to the opposite sex or ever a ‘cool girl’ … but I also always assumed (because my Mum told me!) that I’d come into my own when I grew up.
She told me.
I told myself.
I believed it, no EXPECTED it.
It happened.
Do you see what I’m getting at here? Do you see how this relates to YOU right here? Do you see how freakin’ OBVIOUS this is, how this is everything, all of it, the ONLY thing you need to EVER know about creating –
Everything.
Or nothing.
Or ANYTHING.
And here is what else:
Don’t think for a second that I’m saying this shit is just about what you always believed. I KNOW how lucky I am to have grown up with parents who told me I could do ANYTHING and that I would ALWAYS win. In fact every adult who influenced me growing up told me the same thing.
It was ALWAYS a given that I was born to win.
But guess what else was always a given, in my family, in the world I lived in?
Being uncool …
Not fitting in …
Being socially awkward, basically …
And, oh yeah –
That other thing, that HUGE fucking thing:
Money.
Is a struggle.
Hard to come by.
Does NOT grow on trees.
And that lack and scarcity is the norm.
Small wonder I spend my entire adult life up until my early thirties, before I started to learn about this stuff and learn that whatever I BELIEVE is TRUEk, struggling SO damn much with money.
Over 100k in debt.
Nearly bankrupt.
Etc etc etc.
I had to consciouly re-program myself to believe what I DO fully believe now, what my results now stem from, and it took me a good several years of DELIBERATE re-programming to fully do this, but now?
It’s normal to me to make a lot of money and live a certain way.
I fully believe money is easy to receive, and that you can make it like WOAH doing what you love.
It’s normal to me to AUTOMATICALLY monetise my life, I don’t even think about it, it basically just HAPPENS.
I believe:
More and more money flows to me effortlessly and easily day, every day from a variety of sources and in ever increasing amounts, from flow and by me just being me, and in a way that serves the higher purpose of me and of others.
I believe:
I can click my fingers and command money to come to me.
I believe:
I ALWAYS have TENS OF THOUSANDS more than I need.
I believe:
I am STILL BORN TO WIN AND ALWAYS will!
I believe:
I am fit as fuck.
Etc.
Etc.
Etc.
And guess what?
The stuff I just BELIEVE, don’t question, assume and expect, MUCH of which is stuff that seems like an IMPOSSIBLE OR UNREALISTIC FANTASY to the rest of the world, is my NORM.
Some of it because I grew up like that, was conditioned like that.
Other parts I had to actively TRAIN myself to believe.
The money shit … woah. That was fucking hard and it took time to break free of a lifetime of limiting beliefs and scarcity. But I diligently applied myself to re-training my mindset and doing the work to go with it every day, and because I refused to NOT win, I just refused to give up once I’d become aware of this whole ‘your thoughts create your reality’ thing.
I kept at it.
Till I believed it.
Till I felt it.
Till it was the only possible outcome.
Till I completely DID just expect it.
Till I saw it.
Over the past 6 months, I’ve been actively re-training my mindset around love, and the concept of finding my one true love, the person I’m meant to be with forever, the person I was born for.
I spent years – ALL of them, actually! – feeling unworthy in this area.
I got married twice in part because I was scared nobody else would ever love me.
I never knew if I was really in love … I used to freakin’ GOOGLE “how to know if you’re really in love”.
Of course the problem was, partly, you can’t receive love if you can’t first give it to yourself …
So it was all about ME and my shit, of course…
But also? I felt like that whole true love dream life fantasy thing might not exist, or at least that it couldn’t exist for ME.
It was an impossible dream, a fantasy, and I had no idea HOW.
Yet, I started to practice what I preach in business, in fitness, with money, with SUCCESS.
I started to consciously re-program my mind.
To believe that everything I’d never quite dared to always dream of could be true.
I wrote to my soulmate, my twin flame, the ONE.
I wrote exactly what I wanted to call in, create, how it would feel, how it would be.
I wrote it.
Daily.
Released it.
Daily.
And kept on doing the work of simply moving in alignment through my LIFE.
Day by day turning my mind 0.01% further in the direction of simply KNOWING, BELIEVING, EXPECTING, that my fantasy life could be my normal life, and DONE.
One day, I noticed –
I was starting to believe it.
I was starting to expect it.
I was starting to ASSUME it.
Just like I did with fitness …
With becoming ‘cool’ …
With being socially successful …!
With money …
With EVERYTHING.
And as has ALWAYS happened and only CAN happen when you believe something, one day, last week, within almost MOMENTS it seemed from me actually slipping into belief and ‘it is done’, I woke up?
And I saw it.
A month ago I was telling my clients in my manifestation intensive that I was calling in soulmate love.
On Boxing Day I wrote a letter to call in my soulmate.
Last week he came into my life in an EXPLOSIVE fucking way that could never have been seen and shook me to my core, beyond a soulmate, actually, anyway, a twin flame, my twin flame, and it is scary and terrifying and incredible and amazing and also there’s that part of me which thinks:
How in the actual FUCK did that just happen? And so fast?!
We haven’t even MET.
But we’ve known each other forever.
And then I remember:
But I just decided to start believing it.
And I wrote it.
And I created it.
So –
Duh.
Of course I then saw it.
And I was thinking, this morning, as I sat down to journal and to release –
What if all of the stuff you dream of and imagine to be a one day or maybe NEVER fantasy …
What if you just decided to start believing it.
It’s just an idea …
It’s up to you …
But the whole point is –
It’s up to fucking you.
Write the life you want baby.
Write your FANTASY until you BELIEVE it.
Claim OWNERSHIP until you expect it.
Make a conscious choice to start to ASSUME it.
And then?
Well, isn’t it obvious?