News

F*(k You Bulimia

bulimia

I did something interesting this morning. I (first) published this post, which is written in the present tense, and failed to mention that it’s from a journal from 8 years ago. It’s been amazing getting so many messages and emails of support this morning and it means a lot to me. I do want to clarify, however, that with professional help and a lot of mental battling, I did overcome bulimia in my mid twenties. Thankyou for your support 🙂

Warning: this post contains explicit language; which I have never before used on my blogs (and try not to use in everyday life!). I thought about changing it to something tamer, but to be honest it just changed to ‘rawness’ of how I felt when I wrote this piece. U

This is Part 3 of the series I’ve been sharing on my history with binge eating. The series is based on extracts from my journals. I’m not necessarily posting them in order! You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Fuck you bulimia.

Today I stared down the barrel of mindless emotional eating followed by purging, and for one of the very few (but slowly) increasing times I won. It feels like coming up for air after being trapped underneath water. I wanted so so badly to just give in to the relief of stuffing down mouthful after mouthful, not stopping to think about what I’m tasting or even to really chew. To skim read some sort of crappy chick lit without paying any particular attention to what I’m reading. The story doesn’t matter, I’ll read anything so long as it’s mildly engrossing and banal enough for me to tune out of having to think. About my life. Tuning out of life, really.

There’s a certain point in most days when I feel it (bulimia) coming for me. Like a little devil on my shoulder or the ‘naughty’ side of my conscience, it tempts me. Telling me that it doesn’t matter. That one more time won’t hurt. That it’s not really affecting me anyway. And reassuring me that of course I can quit tomorrow. That I’m totally in control, and that only by succumbing to it’s call can I prove that to myself.

Most of the time, I give in. And the relief? It’s instant. Exhilarating. I have my escape; nothing else matters. Stress, overwhelm, self-doubt – they can’t touch me.

And then I start to feel the fullness. The burn of too much sugar in the back of my throat. Sometimes the little cuts in the roof of my mouth start stinging; if what I’m eating is something like chips. It’s not as though I let them become pulpy before I swallow them. I don’t have time! I just have to eat more and more and more until suddenly –

The shame. The guilt. And I’m pissed off at myself for giving in again. For being so weak. For breaking so so SO many promises to myself. And for the realisation that now I just have to go through it all again; I have to start afresh at trying to quit. And I WILL do it this time, I tell myself. That really was the last time. After all, I feel disgusting. Not just physically, from the racing heart and shaky hands – a combination of the sugar and just the speed with which I’ve eaten – but mentally I feel vile.

This is good – it makes me so so certain that I’ll be able to with resist the call next time around. Why would I want to feel like this again? Why would I want to do this to myself again? I wouldn’t! And I won’t.

Until I forget, of course, which happens all too quickly. I’m trapped by this illness or weakness or whatever you want to call it, and I don’t know if I’ll ever escape.

Except today, I did. And I forged just the tiniest of bonds to a new Katrina. To choosing NOT to listen to that little voice. Choosing to eat like a normal person, even if just for today. And tomorrow I know I’ll have to deal with it all over again, but that bond I just made? It’s tiny but I think it’s strong. And I’m going to cling to it like nothing else, because ultimately I choose freedom from my fears and from the bonds that have held me so tightly up until now.

Ultimately, I choose life.

Thankyou for letting me be honest with you about my eating history. Even though it’s tough for me to do, I think it’s important to share this story as I know that so many women relate to it. And I must admit it is also liberating for me. Please note that I have overcome the battle with bulimia that I fought years ago, I now feel more comfortable sharing my story. At some point I will write about the methods and professional help I used to win the battle.

I will share more of the story when I’m ready.

Life is Now. Press Play.

"Kat Eden, Australia's Female Fat Loss Queen"

PS

MONETIZE THAT SHIT NO MATTER WHAT

{AND DO WHAT YOU WANT ALL DAY}

A One-Time Live Online Workshop with Katrina Ruth, on How to Make Money Anywhere, Anytime, With ZERO Dependance on Any One Platform, Program or Tool … Aka JUST BECAUSE THAT’S WHO YOU ARE … AND – With the Greatest of Ease

Okay. Imma gonna get straight up on your ass about what needs to be said here, because obviously SOMEBODY needs to hit the damn truth button on this shit!!

Straight up from the gate up, you do NOT make money because of Facebook.

Because of Instagram.

Because of email.

Because of ANY of this shit.

You make money because of who you are and what you decide and make NON-NEGOTIABLE, period, The End!

As you may be aware, in the last day or so Facebook and Instagram went down down down OH so far down.

After a few obligatory ‘stop the world!’ messages to my team and friends (which resulted in a serious convo with one of my soul sisters as to whether we’d now have to become porn stars instead), I got back to business.

The business of posting and selling shit on Facebook, which is admittedly a big part of what I do each day???

Nah … the business of being ME, because THAT is what I actually do each day, and also?

It’s what gets me paid.

Funnily enough, as is often the way with these things, just yesterday somebody was making smart-ass comments to me about how all the coaches would survive if there was no Facebook or Instagram.

“How would they survive?”, I asked myself.

“Well, I have no idea how THEY would survive but I sure as shit know how I would survive:

Very fucking well indeed, thank you very much, because that is who I AM”

Word to the wise:

A) I was making serious money long before I used Facebook for it.

Allow me to say it again for those in the back: YOU MAKE MONEY BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE AND THE LEVEL YOU VIBRATE AT.

Vibrate?

It’s an energy thang baby, a frequency shiz niz, it’s just who you ARE and how life works for you.

Handy hint —> the level of wealth you enjoy or moan over now is already just a direct reflection of your frequency, and expectations. It ain’t got jack shit to do with what you do, and it certainly is not a product of which tools are available to you.

It is a product of YOU.

When the socials went down today it was FASCINATING to me to observe the response that came through in the in-between-y bits when people managed to post something.

People worrying about how it would impact their business, or feeling in some way handcuffed.

This is crazy! It’s fear-mongering at its worst and it’s an absolute SHITTY mentality as far as belief systems around where results come from.

Do you know what I felt, when I realised we couldn’t use Facebook as normal for our biz stuff?

EXCITEMENT.

It took a minute to click in, but I found myself getting all wriggly and lit up with excitement.

I love a damn challenge 🙂

And since I also choose to believe that everything is happening FOR me, I also took personal responsibility for this occurrence.

Obviously FB and Insta had gone down in order to force me to finally pull my finger out and learn how to go live on YouTube.

But mainly – hell YEAH to the opportunity to get creative!

Probably taking the whole thing a little bit too far, as I worked my way through some sprints on the rower post HIIT weights session, I started to imagine what would happen if Facebook was TRULY GONE AND NO LONGER OF THIS WORLD.

I got MORE excited with each second that passed (which makes me remember how damn BORED I get as soon as I know how to easily do something aka make money all day err day on Facebook), and I also found myself AUTOMATICALLY GOING INTO ZAG MODE.

Zag?

You know, like ‘When They Zig you Zag’. A classic, if ever there was one!! Thank you Dad, for always having all the BEST books on your bookshelf for me to start reading from 10 or 11 years of age!

See, I have a belief system which works rather well for me and I guess is just part of who I am –

I believe that things ALWAYS work out perfectly for me, and are always done FOR me …

I believe I am always on path …

I believe I always make the right decision, so therefore I never have to beat myself up, I just wait for the lesson –

AND

(drumroll)

I believe that my outcomes are predicated only by my choices, and that there is nothing I EVER need in order to get or maintain or ONLY improve on an existing outcome.

It’s this mindset that causes me to wonder what TF it has to do with anything when people say things like they can’t be in shape ’cause they have kids or just had a kids … or ’cause they can’t get to the gym (for example)

And it’s also this mindset that causes me to KNOW that the money I make and the impact my soul work has in the world has NOTHING to do with what tools or platforms are available to me or working.

I programmed myself a long time ago to IMMEDIATELY swerve if something was no longer serving me or working for me. It’s this part of my mind which therefore right away started coming up with creative and imaginative solutions for how business would OF COURSE carry on (and improve!) with or without social media.

And it’s also this part of my mind which of course right away finds a way to monetize the damn thing and turn it into epic and highly helpful content for you, aka this workshop!

It’s just how I think, and who I am. I am simply unavailable for NOT moving forward, and nothing will ever ever EVER make me believe that I have to depend on anything outside of me for my results.

So why a whole damn workshop on the concept?

Well, it’s more than that, isn’t it?

It’s a mindset of believing that you always get what you want.

It’s a mindset of believing that everything always works out for you.

It’s a mindset of believing that NOTHING can stop you.

That everything is working in your favour.

And?

That you can monetize ANYTHING, any time you choose, and with no ‘requirements’ in order to do so!

I don’t have to tell you that obvs the outcomes you get directly follow and reflect your mindset and your beliefs!!

Here is what else, as well:

This is not just about making money any time, from any thing, and knowing that even with challenge or things going wrong you only THRIVE and EXPAND!!

For me this goes hand in hand with duh – I get to do all of that on my terms.

By having FUN, and being in FLOW, and with ease.

In fact, the more money the more ease!! #justhowitis

That I can literally click my fingers and money shows up for me, meanwhile I’m just over here doing ma thang.

Speaking of which –

I think it’s about time I shared exactly what I currently DO all day, yeah? And how I do it / fit it all in / honour ALL the areas, PLUS manage to spend so much time sitting on my ass doing sweet FA!

In other words … !

Let’s hang out together this weekend!!

Introducing:

MONETIZE THAT SHIT NO MATTER WHAT

{AND DO WHAT YOU WANT ALL DAY}

A One-Time Live Online Workshop with Katrina Ruth, on How to Make Money Anywhere, Anytime, With ZERO Dependance on Any One Platform, Program or Tool … Aka JUST BECAUSE THAT’S WHO YOU ARE … AND – With the Greatest of Ease

> It’s happening Thursday March 21 at 11.30am Brisbane time (Wednesday 9.30pm NYC / 1.30am London, UK)

> All fully recorded if you can’t attend live

> ALL your questions answered (either live during the workshop, or afterwards in the group if you can’t attend live)

> KILLER bonus content on Top 11 Most Effective & Proven ‘When They Zig You Zag’ Sales Secrets

> Live support from meeeeee in the group afterwards for anything extra you want and need to know!

> Free Bonus Entire COURSE for Everyone! My $197 Alignment & Asskickery Toolkit, a 14-Day Smackdown to Bring You Back to YOU, and Into Massive Aligned and Result Based Action! Yes, that’s an entire $197 course and you’re paying less than half of that for this entire workshop!

> All content yours to keep for life!!

GET IT, AT THIS PRICE! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

What We Will Be Covering!

1) How to Monetize ANY Situation, Including But Not Limited To:

* When social media or any typically depended upon platform goes down (including examples of how I have down this several times, to the tune of tens of thousands)

* Hater situations (including examples, again multiple times, again tens of thousands of dollars)

* When you make a fool of yourself / something embarrassing happens or you screw up (also examples! also lots and lots of lovely moolah)

* When people ‘screw you over’ (ahem, we will talk about this) or desert you (also examples! more money!)

* Basically how to turn any and all life situations, moods, changes of the moon, emotional ups and downs, real life SHIT, to money!

2) Why the ‘When Shit Happens’ times are often the BEST times to make money, aka this is where I teach you what it really means to understand human psychology in terms of SALES, and the mindset of being an actual IN THE FLOW entrepreneur, who ALWAYS sees opportunity and jumps straight on it

3) When NOT to Monetize (okay that one you can have for free – never!!)

4) Understanding Where Money Really Comes From – and aligning yourself TO the frequency of wealth, such that you can literally NOT.BE.IMPACTED by anything that 99.99% of people think will cost them business

5) Money Vibration Principles Revealed (… my own personal philosophies and things that I live by / instil into my being around this, including my own daily practices)

6) Coding For Success

* How to ALWAYS have an endless stream of ideas

* AUTOMATIC continual unleashment of creativity and imagination, especially in so-called times of struggle

* Seeing past problems and accessing higher self in order to always know the answer, and how to move forward

7) Programming to Upgrade – the beliefs, energetic states and emotional patterns you require in order to be this person, have all this work for you, ALWAYS see and have the ability to act on the shit that will most pay off

The ‘Do What You Want All Day’ Bit:

* Exactly how my typical day flows and how I operate for maximum efficiency of time, energy, mental acuity, soul connectedness, etc

* Getting it all done as a busy entrepreneur (and single Mum, in my case) who also refuses to operate at anything less than EXCELLENT in terms of self-care, fitness, fun, playtime, etc

* Exactly what I do all day, broken down to the detail, to helm this becoming-8-figure-empire

* Exactly what I do NOT do all day, either it just gets ignored (hint: a LOT that most online marketers think matters!), or I let other people do it for me

* Calling in soulmate support, even long before you are ready to afford it

* Optimizing energy, focus, personal power, happiness, general flow. Aka mindset and also brain / nutrition hacks and so on

* TIME MANIFESTATION. OH YES IT IS A THING.

AND, while we’re at it, we will also be talking INSTANT MANIFESTATION. The exact process I use to bring the future into the NOW, by clearing all blocks existing between its reality in the quantum and its physical manifestation in the now!!

GET IT, AT THIS PRICE! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

PLUS!

I’ll be doing this ‘Rapid-Fire’ Session at the end!!

1) What it really means to be magnetic online – hint: it’s not about having a pretty and polished website or online presence!

2) Bringing the ‘in private / behind the scenes’ version of you to the public

3) Unapologetic messaging and soul baring to call in your true #soultribe

4) Audience quality vs quality, and active elimination of those who don’t ‘HELL yes’ on your content

5) People don’t buy your products, they buy you. No – people don’t buy you, they buy your energy!! What that means and how to let it out

6) Being real about where you need to take care of YOU in order to be able to show up and shine fully

7) Keeping a laser-focus and tunnel-vision on your own path, and having the courage to pave the way that feels right for you even if it’s not been done before

8) Discernment to walk the line between being polarising and positively outrageous as opposed to just a hot mess 🙂 Scaling and magnetizing FROM the chaos of creativity and following the true artists way!

9) Knowing which ideas to work, what will sell, and how best to sell it so that the entire launch and selling experience is fun AND rewarding for both your audience and you

10) Creating hell yes offers that make them scream yes!

I know!

This workshop is off the HOOK already, and we haven’t even accounted for all the random shiz which will be coming out of me!!

GRAB YOUR SPOT NOW, ONE TIME ONLY! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

Don’t forget the bonuses >>>> !!!

> KILLER bonus content on Top 11 Most Effective & Proven ‘When They Zig You Zag’ Sales Secrets

> Live support from meeeeee in the group afterwards for anything extra you want and need to know!

> Free Bonus Entire COURSE for Everyone! My $197 Alignment & Asskickery Toolkit, a 14-Day Smackdown to Bring You Back to YOU, and Into Massive Aligned and Result Based Action! Yes, that’s an entire $197 course and you’re paying less than half of that for this entire workshop!

> All content yours to keep for life!

What are you waiting for? You KNOW that if you apply even ONE tip of the approximately gajillion I’m sharing here you’re going to 100x your investment back! Which is why I am even EXTRA excited to be able to give this to you at such a low price, as per the commandment of my soul!! Plus it’s fun 🙂

Okay then! See you IN there baby!

GET YOUR PLACE NOW! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

You may also like

3 Comments

  1. Missy Barnum via Facebook says:

    Same here.

  2. To hell with Bulimia, for me just tank up and then hit the weights.

  3. Renèe Jane Irvine via Facebook says:

    Thanks so much for sharing. After my experience with ED I am still trying to figure everything out … feeling not so lost after reading your story 🙂

Comments are closed.

array(6) { [0]=> array(3) { ["image"]=> int(43377) ["title"]=> string(9) "Abundance" ["url"]=> string(47) "https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/abundancecourse/" } [1]=> array(3) { ["image"]=> int(43378) ["title"]=> string(19) "Discipline Your Ass" ["url"]=> string(49) "https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/disciplineyourass/" } [2]=> array(3) { ["image"]=> int(43379) ["title"]=> string(19) "Money Honey Program" ["url"]=> string(49) "https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/moneyhoneyprogram/" } [3]=> array(3) { ["image"]=> int(43380) ["title"]=> string(26) "MULTIPLE 6-FIGURES LOW END" ["url"]=> string(56) "https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/multi6withlowendworkshop/" } [4]=> array(3) { ["image"]=> int(43381) ["title"]=> string(17) "Love & Acceptance" ["url"]=> string(49) "https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/loveandacceptance/" } [5]=> array(3) { ["image"]=> int(43382) ["title"]=> string(24) "Journal Your Way to Rich" ["url"]=> string(52) "https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/journalyourwaytorich/" } }