When you come at life, at business, at money, at you, through a lens tinted with a need to GET some place, PROVE some thing, DO some thing so that you can finally relax and BE some sort of relaxed, happier and ‘there‘ version of you, you will find yourself never quite ANY place, and instead?

Perpetually slightly starving.

If you’re a go-gettin’ sort of a gal (and I know that you are!), the good news is you’re very unlikely to ACTUALLY starve.

You will get by.

You will get extra scrappy when needed.

You will always have … JUST enough. Nearly. Almost!

But really?

Not quite.

The years will pass, business ideas will come and go, projects and creative endeavours will be brought to life and then fade away, you will meet and connect with amazing people, you will do many wonderful and fantastical things.

But get to ‘there’? The place where you can finally, fully, let go? The place where you are now ENOUGH, and allowed to just – receive?


Not so much.

Because here is what is true about ‘there’. And why you simply are NOT on path for that place, not with this way of doing things.

‘There’ is a place where you always WERE enough. Where you did it exactly your way. Because that is the way it must be done. Amen!

Take the long ass posts I write, and have been writing, on the internet, for the past 10+ years.

Do you know how many times I’ve had people comment that “nobody would ever read that long ass post!”? I’d say ‘cue mocking troll-person laughter’, except … some of the people who said that (maybe in a nicer way!) were mentor or ‘expert’ type people.

And, it shouldn’t surprise you to learn, SOME of the people who said that were … the voices inside of my own head.

Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to hold myself back because I’ve already written or SAID that what feels like 1000 times? Because what came out of me that day feels lame? Because it makes no sense? Because it makes me feel self-conscious? Because my engagement on my long blogs is nothing like the engagement I’d get if I just pimped for shits and giggles, and God knows I’m good at that too, when I decide to be! So why not just do THAT?

Sometimes the Proper Marketing Person inside of my head tells me:

“It might be time to wrap that whole long form blog thing up now, Kat”.

“You’ve really said all you need to say in that area!”

“That was great for pre-2020, but attention span is lowering now; people need short, snappy, to know NOW what to do. They need to be taken on an emotional rollercoaster within seconds, now hook ’em!”

But the thing is. The thing is. No matter which way I twist or turn it, or try it on backwards for size, and believe me I have TRIED. The thing is –

I like to write a lot. I am happiest when I am letting what comes out just come out. I feel choked up with emotion right now, as though I had rejected my one true love, my soulmate, my HUMAN, as I think about the times I’ve made my writing,

the way it is, the way it just IS,

not enough.

The way I have told it to dance, perform, crimp, be contained. To ‘fit better’ within the parameters of being a better marketer … better on Instagram … more on trend with … whatever. The way I have almost unconsciously at times tried to channel what is in me so it fits into under 2200 characters, the allowed amount, if you weren’t aware, for an Instagram post. After a lifetime of releasing myself from the bonds of being labeled the ‘too much woman’, and proudly waving the flag OF my own ‘muchness’, I didn’t even notice when I started to make my WRITING too much; literally.

It makes me want to cry. And? It’s made me fucking MISERABLE, every time I have tried to adjust what comes out of me that way. In any way. You know?

This is not about whether a long or a short or an any kind of post or creative piece is better. This is about the difference between doing what you do because it is WHAT YOU CAME HERE TO DO. As opposed to – doing things to get places. To be someone. To be that next level you. To prove something. To GET – ‘there’.

And here is what is REALLY funny. Ridiculous. Crazy!

If you think about what ‘there’ means …

if you REALLY go into that, and own it inside of you …


By DEFINITION, that means – exist in the way you came to exist.

So if right now you’re so embroiled in IDEAS of what there should be that you can no longer clearly access what it just WOULD be, here is an exercise for you:

Paint a picture. With words if you like, or your mind. Of a fantasy place. A game of imagine. You get to make it up! And it’s just –

‘The place I ultimately long to be’.

I’m dreaming of a place where …

All I do is …

What I am known for is …

What I am not known for is …

The way I create is …

What comes out of me is …

How people find and buy from me is …

What makes me happiest here is …

What I ‘have’ here is …

Who I AM here is …

Who else is here with me is …


And anything else your mind cares to serve up for you as a question, to be pondered, and to let your soul answer.

Here’s the thing.

For as long as you make what you think you need to do and who you think you need to be, a game of working towards, trying to get there, trying to prove something, or of seeking ANY sort of outcome or end game that was foist upon you from ANY other place than that it just bubbled up inside of you –

you will find yourself perpetually only JUST ever eeking out ALMOST enough.

Of money.

Of fame or following.

Of impact.

Of love.

Of happiness, joy and peace.


If you are particularly strong-willed, and a consistent hard worker, you will likely manage to dial UP the ‘almost enoughness’ such that a decade from now your almost enough will certainly be miles ahead of where it is now. As it is probably right now miles ahead of where it once was.

But make no mistake:

the vibe will be exactly the same. You’ll just have got smarter at putting yourself in positions where you either ‘have to’ or ‘deserve to’ have more. ‘Deserve’ based on … whatever it is you think makes it that you’re now allowed that bit more, and the fact that you jumped through the hoops to get it.

But no. You will not be filled up.

You will be overflowing with noise, obligation, people, and things, and maybe a bit of fun and freedom in there, but you will be STARVING,

most of the time. Starving in a way that only a person stuffed to the gills with the wrong life can be.

So opt out.


And look to the life that DOES exist within you, the one where you looked around at everything you COULD do, everything they told you you SHOULD do, and you realised:






I’m gonna do it MY way. The way it just comes OUT of me. Every last BIT of it. The way it is MEANT to be. And if they don’t like it, they.can.get.stuffed with their OWN ideas of what life, or success, should be.

Because in the end, here is what I know for sure:

whichever way you choose to play life?

you’ll prove something.

You wanna prove you can GIVE your life chasing everything outside of you when all you ever really wanted was to relax into the place where you just BE you, then by all means. Go do that.

But you could just roll on over today and decide to prove:

I’ve got this. Messy, inappropriate, too much, just plain strange, so WHAT. Because when I was in the vision of being THERE, and I finally opened my eyes and looked around:


So I just said yes,

to that.