Success Mindset

Stop Trying So Hard


Stop trying so hard to be the person you think you need to be in order to reach success.

You want to know how to be truly successful, have it all, live a life most would only dream of? The bad news is I don’t know precisely what YOU need to do get there. The good news is that I can save you a lot of time by telling you this –

It sure as hell isn’t going to happen by trying to do what you think you need to do to get there.

Like me, right now. I’m trying to become a better blogger. I want to be recognised in a HUGE way for my work and for the difference I make in the world. So all weekend I’ve been studying some of my favourite successful bloggers, the way they write and get their message out there. I made COPIOUS notes. I’m always a good student 🙂 And then this morning, I sat down to begin My New Life In Which I Succeed On A World-wide Scale as a Blogger and Personal Development Leader. And I wrote probably the worst and most deeply BS filled rubbish I’ve evern managed to create in my life. It’s so bad I almost want to publish it just to demonstrate it’s awfulness to you. And not only is it truly an horrendous piece of writing, but writing it was just plain hard work and completely unenjoyable.

Nothing wrong with hard work. Anything worth achieveing and all that. But it should also feel RIGHT. And here’s where so many of us get it wrong, where I was getting it wrong this morning –

We look to our idols, to the people who’ve made a difference in the world and in OUR world and we assume that the way they did it, must be the way to do it.

This is why fitness models and basically anyone in great shape who has an online platform to preach from finds themselves inundated with requests to share their diet and training rituals.

It’s why we love reading about how celebrities or entrepreneurs achieved their success.

It’s why we assume that the best way to learn about business – or relationships – or money management – or anything – is by following a strategy set out by someone who is already doing what we wanna do.

And maybe it is, much of the time. There are definitely proven systems and strategies out there in any area of life that are worth following. People who’ve achieved what you want to achieve are absolutely worth looking to for inspiration and possible guidance.

But here’s where we get it oh so wrong-

(And we tend to ESPECIALLY do it with the people we most look up to)

– We assume that their way is the ONLY way, and if we set out to duplicate it and don’t succeed our default assumption is that there’s something wrong with us; that we’re not trying hard enough.

What if you were allowed to reach success on your terms?

What if all the paths to reaching it had not yet been determined, and you could pave the way yourself?

What if you could actually reach your goals by being MORE aligned with what feels right for you rather than by trying so hard to mold yourself into the person you think you have to be in order to succeed?

Might make life a lot easier, mightn’t it?

Might also make it more enjoyable to work on your goals, and certainly infinitely more rewarding to eventually reach them and know that you did so by being true to you.

Of course the flipside is that it’s scarier to figure it out yourself. And I certainly don’t mean to imply you should ignore lessons offered to you by others. Just understand that their way is not the only way. Take what works for you. Leave the rest. There’s no point achieving something, no matter how awesome it may be, if you have to stop being you in order to get there.

The bad news here is that really, when all is said and done, you have to figure this whole dream life thing out for yourself.

The good news of course is that really, when all is said and done, you get to figure this whole dream life thing out for yourself. You get to do it your way. And as much as you’ll always have to work hard to get there, you NEVER have to work hard for hard work’s sake. Learn to distinguish between what feels uncomfortable, challenging, but also RIGHT and what just seems plain wrong or a price you’re not willing to pay.

After all, it’s not really your dream life if to get there you have to stop being you.

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