Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word: F&*k The Naysayers!

Did you ever have the feeling that other people think badly of you for wanting a life of more, and for seeing yourself as somebody capable of achieving more?

Honestly, if you ask ME, and I know that you haven’t but this is my blog so I’m gonna go ahead and say it anyway, the way that most of the world thinks about success, and life, is complete and utter bullshit!

I mean seriously … get a house, a mortgage, a job and then the next job? Take a trip once or twice a YEAR and to somewhere ‘nice’ that you can ‘afford’? Delay living your dreams and life on your terms for 40 freaking years until you’re retired or DEAD?

Utter utter BS, not to mention the fact that it’s downright CRIMINAL to try and impose such limited thinking onto others around you.

But yet, that is what the world at large does, isn’t it?

Tells you –

This is what is normal to aim for.

This is how it works.

Here is what to expect.

Here is what you must do.

And here’s how you must be in order to achieve all of that.

I mean seriously … if you were standing on the outside looking IN to the way that the human race lives wouldn’t you just think it was a race of pre-programmed bots of some kind? Drones, destined to an existence of mediocrity because hey! Wouldn’t want to stir the pot! Wouldn’t want to colour outside the lives. Wouldn’t want to (gasp!) THINK FOR YOURSELF NOW WOULD YOU?!

And I don’t know about you, but personally when I look at the way people just lemming-like fall into line with this shit, I gotta tell you –

I’m not buying it.

I don’t BELIEVE that they are happy, satisfied, fulfilled, or in flow when the quests that they embark upon to achieve these things are quests dictated to and then watched over by those who have gone before them, and are going alongside of them.

The worst part is – I think that they are FULLY AWARE OF THIS and yet they continue to PERPETUATE the problem, encouraging their friends, families and loved ones to be realistic, to settle down, to get a good job, to stay the course because hey! You’ve come this far.

Of course ultimately it’s not about to either you or I to dictate how others should live … if they want to march on off that cliff into oblivion with the rest of the race then we can’t really stop ’em. At least not directly. But where it impacts upon YOU and where it becomes not only your right but your RESPONSABILITY to do something about it, is when it is influencing how you live YOUR life.

Tell me now, and be honest. Have you ever found yourself in ANY way turning away from your soul’s deepest desires because you had to be realistic? Because you had your family to think of? Because it might not WORK, and so what’s the point? Because you didn’t know how? Or simply because something inside of you (it’s a chip, they put it there!) was telling you that no! You can’t have a life like that, you can’t just live any old how, you have to do it THIS way.

If you answered yes even once then guess what?

You’ve been tainted with the naysayer brush. On the odd occasion, this is not an awful thing and it’s pretty much inavoidable completely, but when you start to LISTEN and it starts to become a habit and then a way of thinking that turns into a way of LIVING?

We got problems sister.

ESPECIALLY when you consider that if you look to those around you for empowering support, inspiration and motivation what you are likely to receive instead is a nice old shove back into your box.

Where it’s cosy …

Safe …

Comfortable …

You can fit in …

Nobody will question you …

And you can (pretend to) happily eke out the rest of your days as one of THEM.

If you’re REALLY good at deluding yourself you might even convince yourself that this is how it had to be, really.

That those dreams and fantasies were just that- fantasies.

Not for this life.

Which means not for ever.

The only thing is …

You know better.

Don’t’cha?

You’re not actually CAPABLE of fully conforming, even though at times you might consider it because it would just be EASIER.

In my previous relationship, when a fight would ensue, one of my partner’s ‘go-to’ taunts was that I held myself in higher regard than those around me, including, I suppose the implication was, him.

He would sneer at me in the third person, saying things like –

“Katrina thinks she’s the Queen… Katrina’s so much better than everyone else … oh Katrina can do whatever she likes because she ALWAYS knows best and is never wrong!”

The thing is, I’ve never felt I am BETTER than anyone else, not if by better you mean better on a fundamental level.

However I know, and it’s not arrogance or pride that causes me to say this but simply KNOWING, that I am better at taking action than some.

That I am better at committing whole-heartedly to my dreams and goals.

And that I am better or at least BIGGER in the way I dream them in the first place.

For him, as much as he in calm moments professed to support and be proud of me, the stuff that came out when things got heated always seemed to me to have an undercurrent of fury. Fury that I thought I could just live life however I like, that I could just have whatever I set my mind on. Fury, I suppose, because who the hell did I think I was?

I couldn’t stand the way he would put words into my mouth about what I supposedly thought about myself – I sure as heck knew I wasn’t perfect and professed it often – but mostly I found it FRUSTRATING, because so what if I dreamed bigger than big? So what if I was willing to put aside society’s rules and obligations so that I could create my life on my terms.

I guess in the end the truth about that relationship was that me chasing MY dreams and heart in some way stopped him having a life that felt right to him.

The really fucked up thing here is that he saw my desire to want MORE and my choice to be confident in my abilities, as a character flaw. It’s not like you throw the things you love about someone at them as insults during a fight, is it?

Are you with me here? How crazy is it to hate on someone for having big dreams and goals, and for choosing the self-belief and confidence necessary to create those big dreams and goals?

I think it’s freaking ridiculous!

Just like he thought that it was ME who was freaking ridiculous.

So here’s the thing about that, and this is a tough one –

I don’t believe it’s possible for you to ever sustain a DEEP relationship of ANY kind with someone who has such fundamentally different beliefs about how life works, and how we should all act. You can have a fair crack at it … convince yourself that it doesn’t matter so much, that you can talk with your entrepreneur buddies about this stuff, but the truth is that the lemming-like people? As much as you might like or even love them, they will bore you.

And you will PERPETUALLY infuriate them with your drive.

It’s a recipe doomed for frustration, with the only exception being if deep down YOU truly want to conform and are looking to be ‘safely’ pulled back in (if so, leave this blog RIGHT NOW – NOT for you!) or alternatively if THEY have undercurrents of wanting more that they’re looking to unleash. Sometimes, with time, you might find you’ve influenced someone enough to pull them back out of their zombie-like state and into actually waking up and thinking the fuck about how they want their life to be. But in the meantime, if you choose to keep hanging around these people, you’re also choosing to open yourself up to up close and personal judgment of who you ARE.

Which is pretty messed up.

I know for me, in that relationship, even when we weren’t fighting, there was often tension around the fact that I LIKED to work. Anger when I would spend time on it in lieu of other things. And a general frustration at my incessent drive, the fact that I was never done, never truly satisfied, never really happy to rest because when I WAS happy was when I was creating and getting my message out there.

To me this is mind boggling – the idea that my ambition could be considered a bad thing. At times I would question – am I working too much? Do I talk about work all the time? Is it all I care about? Do I think too highly of myself? Depending upon the situation you could argue in either direction for all cases, but ultimately what it comes down to is that we all want different things and we all have a different sort of drive.

It’s not right, or wrong.

It just is.

So here’s what I want you to know today.

A couple of things.

Firstly – AMBITION is not a dirty word.

It’s okay to want more.

It’s okay to want it all.

[pq] And it’s okay to choose to believe in yourself enough to go on out and TAKE it all. [/pq]

Secondly.

You’re not alone. There are others who think AS BIG AS YOU DO. I used to think that I dreamt bigger than anybody else I KNEW. And then I joined a mastermind where people were working on building $100 million dollar businesses. Why? BECAUSE THEY COULD. Amongst other reasons, but that was one of ’em! It blew my mind. For many people, the concept of aiming that big ANGERS them, like why SHOULD you? It’s greedy / selfish / not necessary and so many other blah di blah thoughts which I’m sure you can fill in for yourself.

So yes.

There are OTHERS JUST LIKE YOU.

Which brings me to my third point –

It is not just a good idea to actively cultivate an environment for yourself that spurs you faster to your dreams it is ESSENTIAL.

I spent years creating my dream life and business with the wrong person by my side, and while I still moved forward and even influenced him to think bigger to a degree, ultimately it was a HUGE energy drain and source of stress. For both of us, not just for me! Because no matter which way I tried to spin it – we weren’t in alignment from a values standpoint. On other issues as well, but this was certainly a big one.

So when I said, in the title of this post, that you should fuck the naysayers, I’m not just saying it to write an in your face blog title. I’m saying it because you need to FUCK THE NAYSAYERS.

Fuck ’em on right out of your life.

YES it is harsh and YES the world will judge you for it, call you cold or uncaring or relentlessly driven (thank you!), and YES you COULD or in many people’s minds SHOULD put the feelings and beliefs of others first but really?

Do you want to put ANYBODY else’s beliefs about life, about YOUR life specifically, ahead of your own?

Ambition is NOT a dirty word gorgeous.

You DO have a purpose.

I KNOW you’ve got a calling.

There IS a reason you’re here.

And you ARE meant for more.

But if you want to truly live at THAT level? Then it is your DUTY to protect and actively daily CHOOSE what comes into your mind, because you’re sure as heck not gonna have something different come out to what went in.

Time to dream big lady!

And then go out and claim it.

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