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Purpose

DIDN’T YOU COME HERE TO TEAR SHIT LIMB FROM LIMB? WTF IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW THEN?

You can choose to release the guilt, choose to release the shame, choose to release the bullshit, choose to release the story, drop ALL of it, now, and there’s nothing that’s stopping you, except for –

You.

You can choose to say FUCK it, to the rules, of behaviour, the ones you rail against and RAGE against, and you get so damn ANGRY, and “WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME”, when really you know though, that the only place it’s coming from is always, has always been, CAN always onLY be –

You.

You can choose to say no!
And to stamp your feet in fury!
And to wail and to roar and to REFUSE to do ANY of it, you can choose whatever the fuck you DESIRE, it’s available NOW, and

YOU

You know this
You’re FULLY aware of it
You’re living and breathing with it every.damn.day

As you look in the mirror
Adjust your hair just so
Re-arrange your face from the raw and bloody and gory mess it IS, into something
Presentable
Acceptable
The mask
Firmly
On
Back where it was always been
Has always been
The face behind which you create the dream

Just a pity –
Don’t you think?
That it was someone else’s dream

Just a shame –
Isn’t it?
That THIS WAS NEVER THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

And you look in the mirror and you straighten and square yourself JUST so, and yes. Yes. Yes. THIS LOOKS NICE, I’m so PRETTY and now –

People will like me
People will accept me
People will even ADORE me, perhaps

And the only person who will know that they NEVER COULD POSSIBLY LIKE OR ACCEPT OR ADORE YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE NEVER FUCKING YOU, was always, and only –

You.

But it doesn’t matter! Why would it matter! That you build the entire thing on a LIE, that you build a foundation which is a house of CARDS, that you’re giving your LIFE for the God.damn.EVERYTHING that is not THE thing, why would it MATTER –

WHY WOULD IT FUCKING MATTER?!

Are you KIDDING me?

Are you out of your tiny masked-up MIND?

YOU shriek back at ME, when I ask such a RIDICULOUS THING, but yet it’s still YOU –

Who is living this way.

I don’t have time.
I’m not ready.
I don’t know how.
I can’t!
What will they say!
What about this and about that and by the way, please tell me – 

IS it the right phase of the moon?
CAN I really?
AM I ready?
I need a sign, yes that’s it, a sign – !

To tell me everything I always fucking knew and never could NOT know.

– She says scornfully

With a flick of her hair, and a reminder to her own soul, that yes –

I’ve been there.

I’ve been where you are, I know this place, I know OF this place, and I prefer, if you don’t MIND too much at all –

Not too speak of it.

Perhaps just a little.

To SCARE me back to my core.

But since you insist.
Since you keep bringing it up.
Since you THROW IT IN MY FACE and the rest of the worlds ALSO, that you bloody-mindedly CONTINUE to give your life for EVERYTHING except your soul –

YES I will see you and yes I will RAISE you, one look of –

Are.you.fucking.KIDDING me?!

YOU.

YOU who was born for it, who has lived and breathed it, who IS it, who came here as a vessel, a channel, to BE the place from whence will come –

A river flooding over of POWER and of BRILLIANCE and of magnetic.fucking.I don’t even KNOW what.

YOU.

You are going to live like this.

Like THEM.

O …. kaayyyyyy

I thought

Well,

I suppose I thought

That you were one of us

That you came here to TEAR SHIT LIMB FROM LIMB, to turn the world on its tail before BREAKFAST, to dance on top of it, to SCREAM to the heavens and from the heavens, all at the same time

That’s what I thought

But,

Okay

I see now

I see that you’re, hmmm, how do I say?

Like …

A SHADOW version of us.

Of the ones who were called.

Perhaps you’re the shadow, yes, that’s it.

And your role is actually to remind US of what we CONSCIOUSLY CHOSE TO TURN OUR FUCKING BACKS ON.

Lest we forget.

HOW DARE YOU?

How DARE I?

HOW DARE YOU?!

Take what was GIVEN to you, what you were CREATED for, and squander it like this.

It’s outrageous.
It’s vile.
It’s ABHORRENT.
And it’s enough.

You say you were born for more, and you’ve never actually questioned it, really.

Even in the darkest of days and the deepest of fear, the TRUTH is, you’ve never fucking QUESTIONED it.

You know what you know.

It is what it is.

And that is just HOW it is.

But someday –

One day –

The final bell will toll

And you’ll look back

And I PROMISE you, here is what you will NOT say –

“I’m so fucking glad I waited so long to press play”

Or,

Maybe it’s just that this is why you came,

After all

To remind the rest of us,

Of what not to live for

Either way –

Thank you for playing

Thank you for being here

Thank you for showing up

Exactly

As you do

And well done …

For making your choice.

Just as it is.

Don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

P.S.

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