When you’re just off kilter, doing ‘almost’ fully what you’re meant to do but yet – not quite – the world is never going to be able to work with you, and you will never quite relax.

You may well create a lot of amazing things,

do important work that helps,

feel good and even great about yourself and your effort in so many ways!

You may build an impressive business or two,

make money and check off goals,

have people say wonderful things about you and KNOW that you should really be pretty gee-darn proud of yourself,

(and you are)

but yet –

there will always be this part of you wondering –

“But what if I actually?”

“What if I actually just did the ACTUAL thing I want to do?”

“What if I sold what I’m really here for?”

“And what if I became known for the thing that burns MOST deeply inside of me?”

When you’re just off kilter, doing ‘almost’ fully what you’re meant to do but yet – not quite! – life will never be able to really step up for you, and you’ll live perpetually with a knowledge that if only you’d put your finger on it, there is this magical button you could press that would allow everything, but EVERYTHING, you truly wish for, because finally you would be stepping up for IT.

But yet –

you continue to take one step forward, and then another, whilst wrapped in the chains you yourself wove and then bound yourself with.

“It’s not too bad!”, you say.

“Almost enjoyable, actually!”

“I’ve got a slight headache, but it’s really quite pleasant!”

This last was a line which a man from our church said to my family and I one time, in my teen years, as he walked on by. To this day it will have any of us rolling in laughter when we recount the story. But yet, why so funny?


The slight headache of not being fully you … not trusting in being able to do what’s actually in you … not allowing yourself to be known for all that has actually been made known to you …


and growing

and growing

until the continual banging on the walls of your head drowns out your ability to even PRETEND that it’s all okay anymore.

As your soul wails and knocks and demands and tries to FORCE its way out.

And it’s not as though I’m talking to the unwoke here!

I’m talking to YOU.

The one who knows more.

Who HAS eyes wide open.

Who lives every day with the awareness that they are CHOOSING.

Choosing to go this far, but not further.

Choosing to be Queen of this room, but not that.

Choosing to be famed or lauded for doing these things, helping people with these things, teaching and selling these things that are not the ACTUAL thing.

Because that is what sells.

That is what people want.

That is what I am known for.

That is who they see me as.

That is the pit I’ve dug for myself.

And so it’s best I just keep on digging.

If I go just a little bit deeper,

perhaps I’ll forget that there was ever another place for me to plant myself,

put roots down,

and grow.

But here is the ACTUAL fact of the matter –

YOU are the one who rules any room you enter.

You will ALWAYS go to the top, and fast.

If you’re stuck right now it is ONLY because you’re not quite in the right room,

and so why on earth would you actually wanna play at the top?!

Your soul knows better.

And always has.

Your soul knows that YOU can just go to ANYPLACE you decide.

That if you show up as ‘X’, people will shout and say – “look! There’s ‘X'”!

But if you continue to show up as ‘Y’, people will say – “cool! There’s ‘Y'”.

And they won’t even know there’s an ‘X’.

At least not in you.

It’s literally that simple –

who you wanna choose to be?

And then you be it.


Life is Now. Press Play.


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