The Vibe Fucking MATTERS Okay!
I am so freaking in the zone right now, it’s not funny.
You know that thing you do where you FORGET WHAT ACTUALLY WORKS?? I’ve found myself traversing a TOUCH down that pathway of late. Specifically, I’ve been looking outside of myself for answers and a way forward when I know that I know that I ALWAYS know that the answers come from within.
In fact, the more that shit is TOUGH or treachorous in business (and life, of course) the deeper you need to GO WITHIN to find the answers.
But yet, as I tend to cycle round and do once or twice every year, I’ve not been doing so, not fully at least. Oh sure, I’ve been journaling. Writing. Doing my thang. But I’ve also been playing a silly little game of “if I want to REALLY level up, I need to be a TOUCH more professional / organised / what-the-fuck-ever”.
By level up I mean, I intend to hit minimum 2 million next year and why not 3? Heck why not 10, but okay I’m shooting for 2-3.
And when I say ‘I intend’, I mean ‘I fully commit and I will do what it takes, no matter what it takes, for as long as it takes and until it takes, and THEN I WILL KEEP GOING. Or die trying’.
So yeah – just a nice little intention there.
(Side note … is there ANY other way to set goals? I think not; why bother?!)
The problem. I started believing that the ‘doing what it takes’ bit meant basically being, well, a bit less me.
Just a bit! After all …
I’m KINDA full on. Not everyone’s cup of tea. I kind of … DEFLECT people at times. And I am so freaking disorganised / chaotic / random with how I approach creativity (okay business /life!) it’s actually quite impressive how much I get done.
AND I swear too much.
Gotta get at least a LITTLE bit more professional or with it or just PLANNED out to go big right?!
Well, that’s the little lie I’ve been telling myself anyway.
Over the past weekend, something broke.
I was in Bali last week with my #superwomanposse (fellow ridiculously awesome women entrepreneurs) and my business strategist and my marketing manager and while it was this AMAZING week of deep level empire creation it was also a really freaking ANXIETY clouded week for me. Every afternoon I was having these full-blown panic-y meltdowns. It was fucking annoying, as I was kid-free and thought I’d get so much shit done for the week but instead I was laying on my bed trying to breathe, or having copious amounts of massage and yoga sessions to avoid what I WANTED to do which was binge eat and hide.
Have you ever felt that way? It happens, often, when you’re not aligned.
And all I could think was ‘wtf is going on?! I’m here with these amazing people talking about ruling the freaking WORLD!’.
The anxiety and heaviness had been creeping up for a while to be honest, it wasn’t a Bali thing. But I think being there with all that SPACE brought it to a head, and so on Sunday I literally spent the entire day journaling, doing yoga, or having massage. I had 5 hours worth of massage. Don’t hate me.
And, I broke through.
I got fucking CLARITY.
And I finally TOOK BACK OWNERSHIP OF WHO I AM, as my words tore up the page.
Oh yeah … I got fucking angry as well. I wrote about it in that day’s blog actually.
But what I realised was that with all this talk of ‘where I’m headed’ I’d started to believe that getting to where I want to go was about following a PLAN and doing that AHEAD of just fucking well being me.
Now I’m not fully ANTI plans … I believe they can act as a FLEXIBLE FRAMEWORK, and planning is also a great tool for mental detoxification.
But I am 100% fucking anti putting planning or any form of strategy AHEAD of just being you, and ahead of creative growth.
Without really realising it, I’d started putting my random, mayhem, free spirit creator stuff mentally AFTER ‘what do I need to do for my 2016 plan?’.
Without really realising it, I’d started asking myself ‘what is the best way to sell these places / make this money’ rather than ‘what the fuck would be awesome and fun and cool’.
Nothing wrong with wondering how you might make money.
Everything wrong, as a creator and crazy ass mofo leader, with asking that AHEAD of ‘wtf do I feel like doing that would be SO freaking epic and fun’.
So basically just: I got my priorities out of whack.
Funny thing is … I’ve noticed over the years SO many freaking times, that the more I tune in to what I FEEL like and what would be amazing for the purposes of creative growth, fun, and just awesomeness, the less I even need at ALL after that to worry about where the money comes from or what the plan might be.
When you’re in ALIGNMENT and you create from what matters to you, shit WORKS. Choose to trust that, okay!
STUPID thing is, I fucking know that! I know it and I know it and I’ve KNOWN it pretty much the whole entire 8 years I’ve been online!
But because this was a Big Fucking Scary Goal the likes of which I’ve never before attempted I assumed that it was going to take something DIFFERENT and MORE.
You know what’s SUCH a cool realisation I’ve had these past few days??
It WILL takes something WAY bigger, more badass and more …
It will take MORE OF ME BEING ME!
Not LESS of me being me and instead trying to in ANY way business-in-a-box my way to success.
Write this down:
The MORE that you show up and be you, in ALL your weirdness and craziness, the FASTER you will create true wealth and success!
And, I don’t know, I think it’s just part of the journey to go through these times of self-doubt every so often. I expect it will happen again at some point! It’s a cycle, and only those truly committed to alignment and kicking ass FULLY on their terms will prevail. It’s kind of like elimination rounds …most people cave eventually, and give in to doing the ‘right thing’, following the rules, being a good little entrepreneur who does JUST like the others.
I had a crack at that, and let’s face it:
I’m just too fucking rebellious to be anyone but me.
Which, if you think about it, is actually not rebellious at all. I really just cbf being anyone but me! So when I ‘try’ at times to do something NOT me, and forget for a moment that ALL my success has come from BEING me, I just don’t manage to follow through. I’m freaking LAZY at anything I don’t wildly madly love.
Which works out well, as it happens.
What I realised this week was so fucking powerful and FUN that it took my breathe away.
I realised that if I’m going to ROCK MY 2016 I need to bring my fucking ENERGY to it.
That I need to get more AGGRESSIVE with it. That I need to do it all ON THE FLY. That I need to not GIVE a fuck if I only hit 10% of my sales or even INCOME targets next year if instead I creatively UNLEASH what needs to be unleashed.
The most AWESOME realisation I had this week was:
I love the fucking challenge.
I love the PUSH.
I love the ADRENALIN.
I love putting the pieces of business, life, ME together on the fly and OH MY GOD WILL I MAKE IT WHAT IF I CRASH but then I DON’T. Or even if I do, so the fuck what, I brush myself off and keep GOING because I am a fucking WARRIOR and I never.say.die.
And I would a MILLION PERCENT rather do business and even make MONEY based on this approach. It HAS to be a challenge. It HAS to take my breathe away. It HAS to be fucking FUN. It HAS to feel like oh my God can I keep going I’m going to die I’m going to pass out I’m going to explode but STILL I KEEP GOING.
If you told me –
That I could just follow this cookie cutter plan –
And if I dotted all my ‘i’s’ and crossed all my ‘t’s’ –
And did it JUST so –
I’d make 3 million bucks next year GUARANTEED – (and people CAN show you how to do that, it’s called Internet Marketing by the book and it DOES WORK for those who go all in) –
I’d fall asleep from boredom.
And to be quite honest I’d feel quite a DISTASTE with earning that money, even if I loved the product. I mean really … if I just wanted GUARANTEED loot I could just sell my body to billionaires.
But it’s not really even about that; the idea of pimping myself out to make money.
It’s more that, well, meh – what’s the point?
Where’s the FUN in that?
Where’s the ACHIEVEMENT and sense of I DID it in that?
Just for MONEY?
I’ve always been this way, when I think about it. As a kid I used to charge my friends $5 to join my clubs, but I’d make them EARN the $5 through a variety of tasks at 10 cents a pop. They had to FIGURE OUT how to earn the money they weren’t allowed to just get given it, because WHAT’S THE POINT?
I love money, don’t get me wrong. But I love creating more. I love fun more. I love being in my freaking ZONE ahead of all else.
And ultimately what I believe and KNOW is that the more I show up and do ME, all the way, the more I unleash my true MESSAGE (in fact I CAN’T unleash my true message any other way; you’re either ALL IN or all out) and also the more money I actually MAKE.
Long story short?
The vibe fucking matters, okay?
It matters because business SHOULD be fun and epic and just so freaking cool you can’t believe you get to do it, but also it matters because it’s VERY hard to make money and change the world being you, if you’re not in fact, being you.
Life is NOW bitches. Press fucking Play.