Purpose

THIS IS HOW I WANT TO BE LOVED

This might be one of the most scary things I will ever write or publish online, but you know me … my commitment is always that if you’re terrified to do it yet know you MUST, then just do it right fucking now.

So I’m doing it right fucking now 🙂

Here goes:

My mentor asked me to journal on what I really need from a relationship, and also how I keep myself ‘safe’ in a relationship.

It’s funny, when you begin working with someone to uplevel your mindset game even more, assuming somewhat naturally, as entrepreneurs, that much if not all of the conversation will be centered around business, and money, and then several months later you haven’t even got to the conversation of biz … or money … but yet somehow you’re allowing better than EVER in that area. Which makes total sense, as the more you tune in to YOU and what you need, who you are, the more it all –

Works.

Like ease.
Like flow.
Like RECEIVING.

But yes. The love, men, relationship, me thing. Oooh boy, has that been a messy little path to go down.

A path in which I realised:

Every time I get REALLY fucking lean and ripped (my ideal chosen body type), I then ‘lose it’ again really fast. Not because I don’t know how to stay shredded (I know how from the ‘what to do’ approach, and I also know the REAL how, which is just decide and allow), but more so because if I was really lean and ripped all the time, I’d be TOO attractive.

Which might make more men want me, or even love me.

And that would not be safe.

All of this came up on a call the other night, and then deeper still in my journaling yesterday, and as much as I kinda-sorta-of-COURSE already knew this shit about myself, it was still totally WTF.

But also – awesome. Because with each layer you peel back about yourself, you step deeper into UNDERSTANDING. And when you choose to do that kindly – no need to be hard on yourself, please! – and with observation, it is then incredibly freeing.

You can make a new choice.
You can release.
You can move on.
You can be free.

I noticed:

I have had the belief that it’s not safe to be loved.
Don’t get too lean or stay there, ’cause it makes you more loveable (an arguable point, I know, but we’re talking about MY mind here, not universal laws lol), and you wouldn’t want to be LOVEABLE, because that’s.not.safe!!

I decided
It wasn’t safe
To be loved
When my first serious boyfriend told me he had cheated on me
And then
Because I knew
I wasn’t worthy or good enough and I was lucky somebody had accidentally kinda fallen for me despite all this and NOBODY ELSE EVER WOULD
I married him
Anyway

Ah … the misguided pathways of our youth 🙂

But of course it all works out perfectly, and exactly as it should.

He was my first husband.
Our marriage ended because I cheated on him.
And got caught.
(Wanted to, I suppose).
With the man who became my second husband.
Who I also never opened my heart to, fully.

So, there’s that. And a brief glimpse into things I have not HIDDEN before (I’ve written this whole story years ago, in one of my Amazon books) … but which I also don’t exactly shout out to the internet all the time.

As a matter of fact, when I look back over the history of me and LOVE, I struggle to find any examples of connections with men which weren’t shrouded in shame, guilt, ‘this is wrong’. Even with the first one, part of why I married him was ‘it’s wrong to have sex outside of marriage!!’

Never mind the whole nobody else will love me thing.

Breathe …

So now I journal, and yesterday I journaled deeply on this, and I looked at how I now get to choose to love and accept myself no matter my size … no matter who else loves me … no matter what I’ve proven, or not.

How I get to find love and safety in accepting ME, and then I GET to choose from there.

What I would like.
Thank you very much.
From a man.
Or perhaps –
Several 🙂

And I looked at all the ways I’ve been trying to stay safe. In control. My patterns. The truth is that the ‘I’m not available for love’ thing likely started way before Dahne cheated on me. I think it went back, for no particular reason at all, to stuff with my parents, my childhood, my self. I had a blessed childhood, amazing. But we all take things that don’t mean anything, and turn them into a story, an idea, of not being worthy, of not being enough.

And let’s not even get started on carrying on the beliefs or patterns of our parents; absorbing their unconscious blocks!!

What a wonderful mess to unravel … and please know I mean that, genuinely! This is how to play life. To look within. And to say yes – I will dig into the mess and I will create from it, always, perfect beauty.

So.

How I try to stay safe:

By not being TOO lean or attractive
By being a #bossbitch and not too vulnerable or feminine
By being PHYSICALLY strong as well as emotionally … too lean is maybe FRAIL, and weak, also
By being the one who makes more money, takes care of everything, is the decision maker (exhausting, really, and I am so done with that!)
By being more successful
By being in control
By being busy and occupied … prevent myself from binging or just having to be alone and face into me
By proving to the world I am deserving (success)

Breathe …

And release:

I am safe being me
I am safe just in who I am
I am safe being vulnerable, and open
I am safe AND I allow love, starting with loving mySELF

So funny, how the old cliches, are always, so true.

So why is love not safe then?

Well, when I think about love the way I HAVE defined it and ‘needed’ it, it has felt scary. It might get taken away. Or the person will wake up to me not being worthy, realise I’m not deserving of their love. Or it would hurt, because it would require me to be somebody who I’m not.

So much.
To dive into.

So much.
To notice.

So much.
To smile about.
And release.

And I have kept myself safe, with men, by showing I don’t need them … I will accept their love only in small doses … I will be in a relationship with somebody who has broken me already … or somebody who tells me there is a ‘3kg rule’, if you gain more than that you’re out, and haha, it’s a joke honey! … or with somebody who abuses you. And breaks you. Over. And over. … I will keep them at arms bay … I will allow it CONDITIONALLY.

So just as I protect myself from RECEIVING.
I also have not been so great.
At GIVING.

And on a side note:

Men need to nurture, to give, to take care of. Just as we do need to receive. It doesn’t work so well, for either of you, to push that away.

I’m learning 🙂
And I’m shifting.
I’m practising being open … vulnerable … female.
lol.

And today, here is what I realise.

I get to choose.
From OPEN expansion and SELF acceptance and love, first.

I thought I needed validation from a man. “Look, somebody loves me!” … so then I’m good enough. Etc. I also thought I needed them to DO CERTAIN THINGS (or not do other things), or they don’t love me. I thought it validated me to the world, and that I’m accepted as a person if somebody loves me … conditionally.

And now, here is what I think:

I get to choose.
I choose to love and accept myself just for existing.
Completely whole.
As I am.

And because I love and accept myself I choose to allow money flow with ease, no matter the ‘how’ or what I do or don’t do (done, and done!) …

I choose to allow myself to stay lean and ripped with ease, and no matter the ‘how’ (locked in baby!)

And I choose to allow love.
Romance.
Affection.
And just, also, by the way, really hot fucking sex without it having to mean a million things.

How do I want to be loved; I posed the question, in my title. And here is the answer:

Well.

I get to feel my heart overflowing with love …

I get to feel complete acceptance …

I get to feel safe …

I get to feel uplifted with joy and exuberance, exhileration …

I get to have so much FUN!

I get to feel free …

I get to feel abundant …

I get to be me.

Of course the real answer is simple, isn’t it ..

How do I want to be loved?

I want to be loved by me.

And so it is.

Remember –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat

 

PS

MONETIZE THAT SHIT NO MATTER WHAT

{AND DO WHAT YOU WANT ALL DAY}

A One-Time Live Online Workshop with Katrina Ruth, on How to Make Money Anywhere, Anytime, With ZERO Dependance on Any One Platform, Program or Tool … Aka JUST BECAUSE THAT’S WHO YOU ARE … AND – With the Greatest of Ease

Okay. Imma gonna get straight up on your ass about what needs to be said here, because obviously SOMEBODY needs to hit the damn truth button on this shit!!

Straight up from the gate up, you do NOT make money because of Facebook.

Because of Instagram.

Because of email.

Because of ANY of this shit.

You make money because of who you are and what you decide and make NON-NEGOTIABLE, period, The End!

As you may be aware, in the last day or so Facebook and Instagram went down down down OH so far down.

After a few obligatory ‘stop the world!’ messages to my team and friends (which resulted in a serious convo with one of my soul sisters as to whether we’d now have to become porn stars instead), I got back to business.

The business of posting and selling shit on Facebook, which is admittedly a big part of what I do each day???

Nah … the business of being ME, because THAT is what I actually do each day, and also?

It’s what gets me paid.

Funnily enough, as is often the way with these things, just yesterday somebody was making smart-ass comments to me about how all the coaches would survive if there was no Facebook or Instagram.

“How would they survive?”, I asked myself.

“Well, I have no idea how THEY would survive but I sure as shit know how I would survive:

Very fucking well indeed, thank you very much, because that is who I AM”

Word to the wise:

A) I was making serious money long before I used Facebook for it.

Allow me to say it again for those in the back: YOU MAKE MONEY BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE AND THE LEVEL YOU VIBRATE AT.

Vibrate?

It’s an energy thang baby, a frequency shiz niz, it’s just who you ARE and how life works for you.

Handy hint —> the level of wealth you enjoy or moan over now is already just a direct reflection of your frequency, and expectations. It ain’t got jack shit to do with what you do, and it certainly is not a product of which tools are available to you.

It is a product of YOU.

When the socials went down today it was FASCINATING to me to observe the response that came through in the in-between-y bits when people managed to post something.

People worrying about how it would impact their business, or feeling in some way handcuffed.

This is crazy! It’s fear-mongering at its worst and it’s an absolute SHITTY mentality as far as belief systems around where results come from.

Do you know what I felt, when I realised we couldn’t use Facebook as normal for our biz stuff?

EXCITEMENT.

It took a minute to click in, but I found myself getting all wriggly and lit up with excitement.

I love a damn challenge 🙂

And since I also choose to believe that everything is happening FOR me, I also took personal responsibility for this occurrence.

Obviously FB and Insta had gone down in order to force me to finally pull my finger out and learn how to go live on YouTube.

But mainly – hell YEAH to the opportunity to get creative!

Probably taking the whole thing a little bit too far, as I worked my way through some sprints on the rower post HIIT weights session, I started to imagine what would happen if Facebook was TRULY GONE AND NO LONGER OF THIS WORLD.

I got MORE excited with each second that passed (which makes me remember how damn BORED I get as soon as I know how to easily do something aka make money all day err day on Facebook), and I also found myself AUTOMATICALLY GOING INTO ZAG MODE.

Zag?

You know, like ‘When They Zig you Zag’. A classic, if ever there was one!! Thank you Dad, for always having all the BEST books on your bookshelf for me to start reading from 10 or 11 years of age!

See, I have a belief system which works rather well for me and I guess is just part of who I am –

I believe that things ALWAYS work out perfectly for me, and are always done FOR me …

I believe I am always on path …

I believe I always make the right decision, so therefore I never have to beat myself up, I just wait for the lesson –

AND

(drumroll)

I believe that my outcomes are predicated only by my choices, and that there is nothing I EVER need in order to get or maintain or ONLY improve on an existing outcome.

It’s this mindset that causes me to wonder what TF it has to do with anything when people say things like they can’t be in shape ’cause they have kids or just had a kids … or ’cause they can’t get to the gym (for example)

And it’s also this mindset that causes me to KNOW that the money I make and the impact my soul work has in the world has NOTHING to do with what tools or platforms are available to me or working.

I programmed myself a long time ago to IMMEDIATELY swerve if something was no longer serving me or working for me. It’s this part of my mind which therefore right away started coming up with creative and imaginative solutions for how business would OF COURSE carry on (and improve!) with or without social media.

And it’s also this part of my mind which of course right away finds a way to monetize the damn thing and turn it into epic and highly helpful content for you, aka this workshop!

It’s just how I think, and who I am. I am simply unavailable for NOT moving forward, and nothing will ever ever EVER make me believe that I have to depend on anything outside of me for my results.

So why a whole damn workshop on the concept?

Well, it’s more than that, isn’t it?

It’s a mindset of believing that you always get what you want.

It’s a mindset of believing that everything always works out for you.

It’s a mindset of believing that NOTHING can stop you.

That everything is working in your favour.

And?

That you can monetize ANYTHING, any time you choose, and with no ‘requirements’ in order to do so!

I don’t have to tell you that obvs the outcomes you get directly follow and reflect your mindset and your beliefs!!

Here is what else, as well:

This is not just about making money any time, from any thing, and knowing that even with challenge or things going wrong you only THRIVE and EXPAND!!

For me this goes hand in hand with duh – I get to do all of that on my terms.

By having FUN, and being in FLOW, and with ease.

In fact, the more money the more ease!! #justhowitis

That I can literally click my fingers and money shows up for me, meanwhile I’m just over here doing ma thang.

Speaking of which –

I think it’s about time I shared exactly what I currently DO all day, yeah? And how I do it / fit it all in / honour ALL the areas, PLUS manage to spend so much time sitting on my ass doing sweet FA!

In other words … !

Let’s hang out together this weekend!!

Introducing:

MONETIZE THAT SHIT NO MATTER WHAT

{AND DO WHAT YOU WANT ALL DAY}

A One-Time Live Online Workshop with Katrina Ruth, on How to Make Money Anywhere, Anytime, With ZERO Dependance on Any One Platform, Program or Tool … Aka JUST BECAUSE THAT’S WHO YOU ARE … AND – With the Greatest of Ease

> It’s happening Thursday March 21 at 11.30am Brisbane time (Wednesday 9.30pm NYC / 1.30am London, UK)

> All fully recorded if you can’t attend live

> ALL your questions answered (either live during the workshop, or afterwards in the group if you can’t attend live)

> KILLER bonus content on Top 11 Most Effective & Proven ‘When They Zig You Zag’ Sales Secrets

> Live support from meeeeee in the group afterwards for anything extra you want and need to know!

> Free Bonus Entire COURSE for Everyone! My $197 Alignment & Asskickery Toolkit, a 14-Day Smackdown to Bring You Back to YOU, and Into Massive Aligned and Result Based Action! Yes, that’s an entire $197 course and you’re paying less than half of that for this entire workshop!

> All content yours to keep for life!!

GET IT, AT THIS PRICE! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

What We Will Be Covering!

1) How to Monetize ANY Situation, Including But Not Limited To:

* When social media or any typically depended upon platform goes down (including examples of how I have down this several times, to the tune of tens of thousands)

* Hater situations (including examples, again multiple times, again tens of thousands of dollars)

* When you make a fool of yourself / something embarrassing happens or you screw up (also examples! also lots and lots of lovely moolah)

* When people ‘screw you over’ (ahem, we will talk about this) or desert you (also examples! more money!)

* Basically how to turn any and all life situations, moods, changes of the moon, emotional ups and downs, real life SHIT, to money!

2) Why the ‘When Shit Happens’ times are often the BEST times to make money, aka this is where I teach you what it really means to understand human psychology in terms of SALES, and the mindset of being an actual IN THE FLOW entrepreneur, who ALWAYS sees opportunity and jumps straight on it

3) When NOT to Monetize (okay that one you can have for free – never!!)

4) Understanding Where Money Really Comes From – and aligning yourself TO the frequency of wealth, such that you can literally NOT.BE.IMPACTED by anything that 99.99% of people think will cost them business

5) Money Vibration Principles Revealed (… my own personal philosophies and things that I live by / instil into my being around this, including my own daily practices)

6) Coding For Success

* How to ALWAYS have an endless stream of ideas

* AUTOMATIC continual unleashment of creativity and imagination, especially in so-called times of struggle

* Seeing past problems and accessing higher self in order to always know the answer, and how to move forward

7) Programming to Upgrade – the beliefs, energetic states and emotional patterns you require in order to be this person, have all this work for you, ALWAYS see and have the ability to act on the shit that will most pay off

The ‘Do What You Want All Day’ Bit:

* Exactly how my typical day flows and how I operate for maximum efficiency of time, energy, mental acuity, soul connectedness, etc

* Getting it all done as a busy entrepreneur (and single Mum, in my case) who also refuses to operate at anything less than EXCELLENT in terms of self-care, fitness, fun, playtime, etc

* Exactly what I do all day, broken down to the detail, to helm this becoming-8-figure-empire

* Exactly what I do NOT do all day, either it just gets ignored (hint: a LOT that most online marketers think matters!), or I let other people do it for me

* Calling in soulmate support, even long before you are ready to afford it

* Optimizing energy, focus, personal power, happiness, general flow. Aka mindset and also brain / nutrition hacks and so on

* TIME MANIFESTATION. OH YES IT IS A THING.

AND, while we’re at it, we will also be talking INSTANT MANIFESTATION. The exact process I use to bring the future into the NOW, by clearing all blocks existing between its reality in the quantum and its physical manifestation in the now!!

GET IT, AT THIS PRICE! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

PLUS!

I’ll be doing this ‘Rapid-Fire’ Session at the end!!

1) What it really means to be magnetic online – hint: it’s not about having a pretty and polished website or online presence!

2) Bringing the ‘in private / behind the scenes’ version of you to the public

3) Unapologetic messaging and soul baring to call in your true #soultribe

4) Audience quality vs quality, and active elimination of those who don’t ‘HELL yes’ on your content

5) People don’t buy your products, they buy you. No – people don’t buy you, they buy your energy!! What that means and how to let it out

6) Being real about where you need to take care of YOU in order to be able to show up and shine fully

7) Keeping a laser-focus and tunnel-vision on your own path, and having the courage to pave the way that feels right for you even if it’s not been done before

8) Discernment to walk the line between being polarising and positively outrageous as opposed to just a hot mess 🙂 Scaling and magnetizing FROM the chaos of creativity and following the true artists way!

9) Knowing which ideas to work, what will sell, and how best to sell it so that the entire launch and selling experience is fun AND rewarding for both your audience and you

10) Creating hell yes offers that make them scream yes!

I know!

This workshop is off the HOOK already, and we haven’t even accounted for all the random shiz which will be coming out of me!!

GRAB YOUR SPOT NOW, ONE TIME ONLY! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

Don’t forget the bonuses >>>> !!!

> KILLER bonus content on Top 11 Most Effective & Proven ‘When They Zig You Zag’ Sales Secrets

> Live support from meeeeee in the group afterwards for anything extra you want and need to know!

> Free Bonus Entire COURSE for Everyone! My $197 Alignment & Asskickery Toolkit, a 14-Day Smackdown to Bring You Back to YOU, and Into Massive Aligned and Result Based Action! Yes, that’s an entire $197 course and you’re paying less than half of that for this entire workshop!

> All content yours to keep for life!

What are you waiting for? You KNOW that if you apply even ONE tip of the approximately gajillion I’m sharing here you’re going to 100x your investment back! Which is why I am even EXTRA excited to be able to give this to you at such a low price, as per the commandment of my soul!! Plus it’s fun 🙂

Okay then! See you IN there baby!

GET YOUR PLACE NOW! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

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