I freaking HATE it when people come and talk to me when I’m writing or engrossed in my work. I’ve mentioned this before but God knows it bears saying again. I mean come ON – are they actually stupid? I think it’s pretty clear when somebody has their head down and is focused and anybody with even 1 single lone creative cell in their body knows NOT TO INTERRUPT THE ARTIST AT WORK.
ESPECIALLY not to ask something as mundane and IRRELEVANT as how you are or whether you got their message/email/annoying distraction to everything you actually care about and want to spend your time on.
Yeah. I’m a selfish bitch, I know. I want it all, I want it now, and I want it EXACTLY HOW I ASKED FOR IT.
NO small talk.
NO pesky tasks.
In fact, you know what? Let’s make it simple for both of us, just don’t come anywhere within a 50 foot radius of me when I’m working, thinking about work, journaling, brainstorming or otherwise in flow in my creative state.
Do you ever wonder if maybe you’d be happier and better off living on a remote island cut off from everybody? Or at least getting helicoptered in there once a day for a nice block of 4 or 20 hours
Here’s the thing about being a total diva, bitch, whatever you want to call it –
The world will never understand you and you WILL come across as arrogant, demanding, spoiled, a princess, head in the clouds, ungrateful, uncaring, and a whole host of other things not generally spoken of in polite company.
And BECAUSE of this – no, not in spite of it but BECAUSE of it – you will make your millions, become the leader you were born to be, transform the lives of countless thousands and ultimately do what you were born to do and live the God-given purpose bestowed upon you.
You will –
Run the business you REALLY want to run, even though ‘they told you it was a bad idea’.
Work with the clients you’d TRULY want to help, and everyone else can get stuffed.
Go to bed each night feeling fulfilled and knowing you made the impact you were supposed to, even though the house is a pigsty, your inbox could make a world leader leap, you haven’t attended to a personal task since last decade and you have no idea what’s happening in the world.
Achieve any goal or dream you truly set your mind to and decide to make happen yet forget to open your mail.
Enjoy great health, fitness and energy and take on the best of ’em in the gym but yet sink into a fugue-state of zombie like boredness if expected to chat to someone new at a dinner party.
Have cool and interesting friends who GET you and who themselves propel you to ever further heights because they are so. damn. awesome but guiltily fail to remember the last time you caught up with your growing up friends.
Fill your mind with the stuff of leaders, of true inspiration and change, devouring it hungrily day after day but unable to focus yourself enough to watch even half of a show on TV when it’s your ‘downtime’.
Make as much money as you choose to make, into the millions, the hundreds of millions, the hundreds of millions per year if you want, just because you can and because you made up your mind to.
Wake up with passion.
Move with flow.
Have exactly what you decide you want, how you want it, when and where you want it, in your business, your money, your personal life, and right down to the quality of the coffee that is delivered to you each day because you EXPECT THE BEST AND SO YOU GET IT.
And that’s what it’s really about, isn’t it, this being a total diva thing you’ve got going on.
[pq] You know you can live a life that most don’t even dare to dream of and so why the heck WOULDN’T YOU? [/pq]
No you don’t WANNA do small talk.
No you don’t WANNA have to turn and smile and answer even with one WORD when you’re in your zone.
No you don’t WANNA take time to learn about stuff the rest of the world deems important and worthy of an hour or two a day of serious focus.
No you don’t WANNA wait for retirement to live your bucket list dreams.
No you don’t WANNA stay in economy.
No you don’t WANNA follow a budget.
No you don’t want to do ANYTHING, anything at ALL except what you FEEL LIKE DOING AND ARE CALLED TO DO.
You think it sounds selfish? It is! It is INCREDIBLY selfish to turn your back on what the world expects of you, what even your loved ones consider appropriate, normal, RIGHT.
Just now, my husband walked into the coffee shop where I was working and had only BEEN working at for 20 minutes. We have a nanny come several times a week for a few hours so that we can do yoga or gym together, maybe lunch and so on. It’s great. What is NOT great is when I specifically ask to have the first hour of the day to myself for my writing and then I am interrupted 15 minutes in. How the hell am I supposed to work like that?
We have the whole freaking day to sit around having coffee and talking about our (admittedly awesome) travel plans.
I was pissed off, and to be honest, downright rude. He is now sitting at another table in the cafe.
I feel bad about this in the way that HE might have felt bad 3 years ago running his restaurant had I have come in and hopped up on the bench in the middle of him doing service for 100 hungry demanding Melbourne-ites.
Which is to say NOT THE FUCK AT ALL.
This is my WORK time.
This is my WRITING time.
This is when I GROW MY BUSINESS, make MONEY and when I DO THE THING I AM CALLED TO DO.
And that’s the thing, isn’t it?
We – yes even we! – understand the concept of ‘normal world’ working. It is NOT appropriate to walk into somebody’s office and just perch up on their desk, tap them on the shoulder, and want to have a nice old chat when they’re in the middle of a demanding project or conference all or whatever.
So when did it become appropriate or okay to interrupt US when we are in flow, just because we are entrepreneurs, artists, leaders who work in a certain way that much of the world doesn’t really see as work.
It’s not okay, and I won’t stand for it, not for me OR for you!
But this goes deeper. I’m having mini rant because my husband interrupted my writing and then the waitress wanted to have a nice good morning chat, so my blood is definitely boiling a little more than usual this morning
What it’s really about, of course, is the underlying TRUTH that we SHOULD – ALL of us – be able to have things completely on our terms in any and ALL situations.
From the little things like not having to smile and make small talk if we don’t feel like it, to the big things like saying no to the house, the mortgage, even the already successful business if it’s not how we want it.
Perhaps you are comfortable with the idea of turning your back on the smaller norms the world expects, the social niceties, the day to day little habits that could turn you more towards your business and dreams or more away from them.
Perhaps you DO create a bubble around you when you work so that you can enter into flow.
Perhaps you DO ignore home admin and mail so you can get the important stuff done.
Perhaps you DO ignore news, and boring magazines, and TV because you want to fill your mind with inspiring stuff.
But tell me –
How far do you take it, this being a diva and living life on your terms thing, and is it far enough?
Do you push fruitlessly onward (yet never upward!) with a business that is not quite right because you’re scared of doing what you really want to do?
Do you continue to teach and help people with stuff that bores the FUCK out of you that in fact makes you feel stressed and anxious because you think you’ll lose business if you don’t answer those questions?
Do you take money from people who deep down you can’t STAND because you’re scared that you’ll struggle even MORE if you become a diva about who you will and won’t work with?
Do you value your time?
Do you honour your worth?
Do you teach, or do you lead?
Are you you, or are you what you think you have to be?
Do you INSIST ON BEING THE LEADER, THE WOMAN, THE YOU WHO YOU WERE BORN TO BE or are you okay with getting there- supposedly! – slowly, clawing your way to the destiny you THINK you might still reach, maybe, one day, if you just. keep. following the goddamn RULES you think you need to follow so that –
You can finally one day do what you really want to do, say what you really think, ask for what you really want and also HAVE it?
You can do it, say it, ask for it and have it NOW! Don’t you see! YOU are what’s standing in your way!
I had a couple of clients at my recent live event mention that as children or young people, when they made up their minds to get something they ended up just GETTING it. Anything. Everything! Are children selfish, do they have diva like tendencies, do they insist on what they want and REFUSE to listen if they don’t get it? Yes, of course they do! Is it infuriating? Yes, definitely! Do they often GET what they want because they refuse to back the fuck down?
And we might get frustrated and roll our eyes and grit our teeth and want to scream at our children but we also laugh secretly at how insistent and stubborn they are and are quietly impressed at their grit and determination and just EXPECTATION that they should get to have their life on their terms.
Where is YOUR grit?
Where is YOUR determination?
When did you stop expecting the best for yourself and accept you have to follow the rules, be a good girl, do what’s expected of you, fit in, conform, be nice and have pretty hair to boot?
And do you really CARE if people get frustrated, roll their eyes at you, grit their teeth and sometimes want to SCREAM at you or just plain don’t GET you, think you’re selfish, arrogant, head in the clouds, a bitch because you CARE ENOUGH ABOUT LIVING YOUR PURPOSE and a live you love that you don’t care what people think of you.
What they say of you.
Or even to you.
Even if they’re the people you love.
This is YOUR life baby. YOUR opinion of your life and of yourself matters more than ANY other person’s opinion of you.
And when you make the small talk, when you stop yourself mid-flow, when you once again say yes to what other people are asking or expecting – oh so nicely! – of you then you also, like it or not, say NO to you.
NO, I won’t have that life I truly dream about, the life I am CALLED for, the life I know I was BORN for. It looks great, but that’s okay. I’m busy. People wouldn’t like that! I don’t want people to think I’m a diva.
So no thank you!
You have it.
Except they won’t, of course. Nobody else can live YOUR calling for you.
Only YOU can fill that role.
But that does NOT mean that you WILL.
There is a STRONG chance that you will not EVER become the leader, entrepreneur, woman who you were born to be unless you WAKE THE FUCK UP AND DO IT NOW.
Yeah. Hate me if you like. If that allows you to hate yourself a little less for not following the path you know you could be following right NOW if only you had the balls to stand up.
Turn away from the world.
Square your shoulders.
Focus your gaze.
And ask for exactly what you want.
As much as you want.
How you want it.
And then go the fuck out and get it.
Don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.
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