By using thekatrinaruthshow.com, you consent to our use of cookies.

Purpose

WHO ARE YOU REALLY AND ARE/YOU/#ONEOFUS?

We are the driven ones, the determined ones, the relentless ones, the ones who can’t not, the 1% within the 1% EXCEPTIONAL fucking people who burn with a fire which will never be quelled.

We do what we do not because it leads to an outcome, a goal, a result, so that then we can relax, Netflix, chill, be ‘done’, but because with the doing? Without the burning? Without the FUELING of the fire, continually and constantly, unceasingly, almost ridiculously?

We might as well not bother getting up in the morning.

We look at those who are not us with confusion, fascination, and a sort of mild horror; what if it were contagious?! If I hang around you for too long, if I immerse myself into your societies, if I try to learn from you, believe for even a second that I should be like you; WHAT ON EARTH WOULD HAPPEN? The horror, the awfulness, the TERRIBLENESS of it all.

To be able to just … stop.
Apparently content.
With all of … that.

We’ve known since before time even began for us that the normal life was NOT for us.

We may have spent what feels like hundreds of years –

And a thousand buckets of tears –

Trying to fit in.
To do it right.
To be happy with some sort of societally accepted modicum of success.

We knew all the while though –

It was NEVER going to take.

What we need, what we thrive on, what we EXPAND on, is becoming more, doing more, learning more, growing more, experiencing more, experiencing and being and doing and having ALL of it!

And we know that we can.

And oh – !

Of course –

We play dangerous games with life, so much of the time.

We’ve learned along the way, to be conscious, even careful, certainly CONSIDERED, about how we set out to meet the seemingly never-ending need inside of us.

We’ve learned to distinguish between following SOUL and following fear, impulsiveness, reactivity.

We’ve learned the hard way, about who we are. About how we MUST honour our art, our creativity, the source OF all source, the message and the power inside of us. About how we must find a way to push ONLY from this place, only from truth, from alignment, from highest accessible self.

Or instead risk destroying ourselves – 
And everybody around us – 
In our quest to feel enough
Or to feel anything
At all

But –

Here is why, specifically, I come along to speak to you today.

Not just to build you up with a ra-ra tale of how damn AWESOME and superhuman and UNTOUCHABLE, you are, when living in your truth.

But to speak to you of where you lost sight of that –
Along the way
And became,
So slowly and insidiously you barely noticed it creeping up on you,
Everything you despised
And swore you’d never be

It’s okay to admit it, you know …

By confronting the REALITY of what you’ve allowed to take hold of you, you reclaim your power to CHANGE.

And here is what happened, isn’t it; a version of it at the very least –

You gave in.

Somewhere along the way, you gave in to the dark side of being this person.

Perhaps it started with pushing too HARD, taking on too MUCH, going TOO fast without taking care of yourself.

Did I mention? Just because we were born to PUSH and CREATE and GO and NEVER stop moving, doesn’t mean we aren’t also born to be EXPERTS at going within, pressing pause, reJUVENATING the soul.

Oh yes – !

We MUST have that. We must sharpen our ever part – physical, energetic, emotional, mental, spiritual – to the finest point whilst also NURTURING it like the most precious keepsake of all.

And, well, we didn’t.

We went SO damn hard we forgot to breathe, and somewhere along the way we crashed, and we LISTENED TO THE BULLSHIT.

Oh, you do too much; you need to learn to slow down!
Oh, you don’t sleep enough, you need to change!
Oh, you have such high standards for yourself, don’t you think it’s time to be a littler kinder to you?

So.
Much.
BULLSHIT.

We KNEW in our souls that THEY weren’t right, but yet we also knew that we were TIRED –

So tired.

And frazzled.

SO fucking frazzled.

And overwhelmed –

Head spinning,
Eyes blurry,
Lost sight of how to sleep, and even how to breathe.

But yet still, the idea of the slow life, the normal life, the ZOMBIE life, the HORROR!

And so we found a way of dealing, didn’t we?

For me it was food. The endless endless endless stuffing down and then purging, of food. I would plan my days around it. Superhuman to the rest of the world. Barely holding it together behind the scenes. The binging was the one part of my day – several times a day! – when I felt like I could BREATHE again.

It never let me down.
It was ALWAYS there when I needed it.
And it gave me the release I craved, so as not to go completely bat shit crazy.
Or perhaps – 
You may rightly wonder – !
I already was  😉
But yet – 
And I’ll bet you’ve been the same; perhaps still are!
I just didn’t know that that was okay.
Or how to manage the powers I’d been given, and not fly fly fly away, so high into the sky and SO alone, so high that I might never come back again.

So instead –
I would let it out in fits and starts –
And then stuff it back in, quickly quickly, when it threatened to out power ME!

Perhaps you can relate?

Perhaps for you it was also food, or alcohol, maybe sex, maybe it was ANGER and RAGING against the world!

Maybe it still is.

Or maybe it was … still is … the slow and steady forgetting –

Of who you are.
Of who you always were.
And of being –
One of US.

And let’s come back to THAT now, yes let’s, it’s CRITICAL that we do – !

You became slow.
Lethargic.
Drained.
Fat.
Pale.
Clouded.
Unsure.
Careful.
ONE OF THEM –

Because you hadn’t yet learned to dance in the rhythm of BEING ALL THAT YOU ARE.

It was so unstable, so wild, so scary!

And so,

You tamed it.

You tamed YOU.

You became …

Domesticated.
Staid.
Plain.
Boring.
And OH,
SO fucking bored.

From the outside looking in, the world still sees you as SUCCESSFUL, but what the fuck do THEY know?!

It’s MIND-NUMBINGLY EASY to be the 1%, even the 1% WITHIN the 1%, for us.

There’s no CHALLENGE in being ahead of near to EVERYBODY else, you can do it blindfolded and drunk –

And often pretty much have  😉

You told yourself a story, didn’t you?

That you being YOU – back in the day! – was TOO FUCKING MUCH.

Too much.
Too intense.
Too RECKLESS.
And LOOK AT THE HAVOC IT CAUSED, and look at the addiction and sabotage and awful behaviour it resulted in!

But don’t you see?

Don’t you SEE, dear one?

The answer was NEVER TO FUCKING BECOME ONE OF THEM!

It was not to be LESS of you, and it sure as ALL get out wasn’t to stuff down your ever ‘too much-ness’.

WAKE UP.

And come back to you.

You’ve been DYING for it, and if you keep going the way you are, living like this, living like THEM, you very well MIGHT kill yourself over it.

For you can run run run all you like, but you can’t run from what you feel in your soul, which is that living like THIS –
Is barely living at all.

It’s time to realise that you have the inherent knowledge and ability to BE ALL THAT YOU ARE and not lose control.

It’s time to get CONSCIOUS around your power.

It’s time to DANCE and SWAY with the beat of the life you were meant to live.

It’s time to rev up –

And up –

And UP – !

But from soul, from alignment, from faith, from EXPANSION, and with a hefty inherent dose of DEEP rejuvenation and restoration within.

Let’s be honest –

We talk all the time about chill, about ease, about flow, but give me a fucking break already –

The way we CHILL, the way we do ‘nothing’, has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH the way the world understands these things.

When we go within – 
Or travel to other realms, other spaces and places – 
Or sleep on the beach – 
Or press fully pause in ANY way or shape or form – !

We are creating.
Manifesting.
Strengthening.
INTENSIFYING.
BECOMING MORE.

We might appear to others unmoving, even zombie-like at times, sitting in stillness, staring into space, endlessly calm and patient even, in our movements, at times.

The higher self is always at play though.

We are literally creating entire worlds within as we bask in the sun.

There’s nothing we have to DO for this, it’s SIMPLY WHO WE ARE.

But to be that person –
To ACCESS all that has always been available, for US –
We DO first have to admit it.
CONFESS it.
And REMEMBER –
Who we fucking are.

You tried the too much life, and it nearly ruined you.

But that doesn’t mean that the slow down life is for you.

It just means –

You were blessed with gifts beyond the human, and that shit can rock you when it’s not claimed from the right place.

Enough though, with telling yourself a ridiculous story that you can’t handle your power, or don’t want it.

You’re older now.
Wiser.
And you’ve experienced what life is like, when you live like them, numb yourself, and try to be content with not unENDLINGLY expanding.

Come back to your soul baby.
Come back to who you are.
Come back to us.

We’ve been waiting for you, and we want you to know –

You can handle all you were given.

Don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

You may also like

Add a comment: