YEAH. KEEP DOING SHIT YOU ‘SHOULD’. THAT MAKES SENSE.
Things work for me when –
I believe they will
I want to do them
I am doing them for their own sake, the reward is the work
I feel expanded doing them, and light, and ‘yes’
It often feels like ‘I probably shouldn’t be doing this’
Things do not work for me when –
It feels like ‘I should’
I hope they will, and gather endless reams of evidence or proof that they SHOULD, no really … here look!
I am doing them because I want the outcome. Need it!
I feel a little compressed, contracted, pushed down, but I do a really good job at ignoring that, pushing it away, pretending even that I don’t feel it, because hey – ! I am DISCIPLINED baby. And really, it’s fine. No really …
Deep down I don’t actually believe it will work, and I am pissed at the me who is buying into this bullshit.
Do you get it yet?
Have you taken a pause lately, looked around, paid attention to the REALITY of what WORKS?
Not the reality of what ‘they’ say works numnuts!
The reality of what your soul knows.
Has always known.
Cannot NOT know.
If only you’d mofo LISTEN.
Look around.
Pause.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Hand on heart.
Now stand TF up to attention, boobs out, shoulder blades back, and SCREAM it like the warrior Queen you ARE –
I ALREADY KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Now LISTEN –
(whispered) you already know what to do.
The things you’re drawn towards,
keep thinking about,
wishing you could,
promising yourself you WOULD,
if only this, if only that.
The things where you tell yourself “I probably shouldn’t …”
Because you don’t have time.
Because it doesn’t make sense.
Because that’s not how the OTHERS are doing it.
Because it will get you into trouble.
Because people will think things about you.
Because because because! An endless list of reasons why not to.
And one big ass reason why TO do:
BECAUSE SOMETHING INSIDE OF YOU CAN’T NOT.
And when you ignore ‘can’t not’, well –
I don’t have to tell you what happens.
(I’ll do it anyway. ’cause I am kind like that ;))
You shrivel.
Shrink.
You start to smell bad. (it’s your dying soul oozing out of your pores).
Your pussy gets all dried up.
You feel gross.
You are BEING gross.
You believe in yourself, day by day, a little less a little less.
You boy who cried wolf your life.
And eventually,
you don’t remember how to trust you at all.
When you DO say yes to ‘can’t not’,
the world destabilises
it is scary as FUCK
you feel terrified at your maybe recklessness, foolishness, ridiculousness
what if you’ve fucked it all up PROPERLY now?!
you have to hand on for dear life
you close your eyes and coach yourself back into why TF you chose such outlandish behaviour anyway
and?
YOU CAN BREATHE AGAIN.
Maybe for the first time ever.
The crazy rocking of the initial destabilisation slows down.
You look up and around.
The sky is BEAMING for you.
The heavens are OPEN.
The portals are literally POURING awesome shit down atcha.
You flicked the all access pass baybee.
Supernatural receiving for DAYZ.
You remember who TF you always were.
You look in the mirror.
And you say –
I just motherfucking became it bitch.
You then repeat with the next crazy move.
Ad infinitum.
The End.
Or, y’know, sure –
Keep doing shit you ‘should’.
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