YOU’RE A DELICATE FLOWER WITH A CORE OF MOLTEN STEEL

Do you ever feel as though your entire being is made up of endless contrast and contradiction?

I swear to God, half the time I think I’m the most delicate, precious, wrap-me-in-fairy-floss (ugh, sticky, but still!) kind of bubble person out there, and I wonder how the hell it is I’ve managed to achieve ANYTHING.

I don’t like it when my routine is in ANY way disrupted …

I get annoyed when wait staff (okay, people) even LOOK at me a certain way …

I seem to have constant ‘ailments’, upsets and niggles throwing me off and ‘stopping’ me from being able to play at the level I feel I could or should be …

I get TIRED a lot … I get SUPER cranky if I don’t have my afternoon nap or meditation time …

 

I need to eat JUST.SO or the stars won’t align and I won’t be able to FUNCTION.

I INSIST on having only EXACTLY WHAT I WANT (the best) of anything, be it type of coffee, wine, water, pens, journals, brand names, and no fucking way in HELL would you catch me unknowingly eating non grass-fed meat.

Basically I want WHAT I want, WHEN I want it, and HOW I want it. I want it now, I want it on my terms, I want to feel amazing and high vibe and energised inside and out while getting it, no I DON’T want small talk with that, and I want it with a side serve of glossy hair, great skin and the perfect shade of lip gloss at all times.

And if I don’t GET what I want, if I don’t FEEL how I wanna feel, if it doesn’t work out EXACTLY as it should …? Well, truth is I’m gonna SUCK IT THE FUCK UP ANYWAY and deal with it or fix it, but I’ll bitch and moan about it at the VERY least inside my own head.

And then? Actually, at the same time as then?

I’ll get the fuck on with it and get my shit done, because whilst I may be a special flower and want things JUST so I’m also hell to the YES outcome focused and NOTHING is gonna stop me from reaching my goals.

Not now. Not ever. And least of all my OWN drama or nonsense, but here is what else:

I actually think that all this PRECIOUS DIVA like behaviour, these extreme standards we have (be honest now, I KNOW you’re with me on this!), this throw-a-tantrum-in-our-head insistance we have on getting what we want, how we want it, ALWAYS, that this is a huge and critical part of being a driven and successful person.

The truth is, a lot of the stuff I roll my eyes at myself about, or feel BAD about at times, worried I’m too high maintenance or demanding or just a DRAMA queen, is simply a reflection of an expectation that if the best is AVAILABLE, we should have it.

Take this morning for instance. I felt ANNOYED that I was a little nauseous and not quite on my A-game on waking. Nothing dramatic. Just a bit of a yucky tummy. I was annoyed at not feeling super high vibe, and then as I drove to my Muay Thai training session I felt moany about the fact that I knew training was going to be that small bit harder. As I did my warm-up skipping I started to tell myself off for being such a whinger and even worrying about it instead of just HARDCORE TRAINING MY ASS OFF and keeping my drama to myself.

And then it hit me:

Most people –

a) Don’t train every day come hell or high water in the first place; simply don’t honour their fitness and health that way or think it’s extreme or unrealistic

b) Would DEFINITELY cancel a booked training session if they woke up feeling a bit off. I know this for a fact, after 13 years of personal training. Fuck, people would cancel half the time for a twinge … their period … not enough sleep … bullshit. Not the successful / driven ones though.

And I’d started this little conversation in my head about being such a SOOK. I’m not sure if that’s just an Aussie word 🙂 but it means moany whinger. Basically. And the thing is … I so often think about gow I REALLY don’t go all in, I’m freakin’ LAZY actually, if you ask me! And I DO ask me, often, and the answer is always the same:

 

WAKE THE FUCK UP KAT. YOU’RE BARELY EVEN CRAWLING!!

I mentioned to my friend Kelly last week, in an admittedly rare moment of sitting around doing nothing, how I should be on my laptop. “I’m so LAZY so much of the time!” I said to her.

She looked at my like I’m crazy and told me I’m the least lazy person she knows, and logically I know this to be true …

But the thing is …

(Don’t you think?) –

What the fuck has logic got to do with anything?

If I took action based on LOGIC I’d be in serious trouble! Or, more practically speaking, seriously without this EMPIRE, this BODY, this LIFESTYLE, my LIFE.

Pressing play don’t depend upon logic! In fact – it depends upon EXTREMES and RELENTLESSLY pushing yourself with PURPOSE.

The thing is …

(Also!) –

So many would look at how I live, how I push, perhaps (I hope!) how you too push and never stop and they think we’re BURNING OURSELVES OUT. That if you’re tired or unwell or whatthefuckever you should pause, rest, slow down.

These are the same people who think that if you’re not sure what to do next you should figure it out or make a plan instead of taking action!

These are the samed people who die with their light still inside of them, simply don’t achieve their goals, don’t do anything remarkable at all, actually, but hey – !

They live a beautifully successful life of MEDIOCRITY. Which is to say no life at all, if you ask me, and I don’t really care whether or not you ARE asking me, ’cause I’M asking me and here is what I have to say about it:

Having extreme diva-esque standards –

For your health and energy
For the things you put in your body
For your environment
For the PRETTY STUFF you wanna buy
For the PEOPLE you surround yourself with
For the RESPONSDE time you demand when you want something
For the ACCOMPLISHMENT of your GOALS, your WHOLE goals and nothing less than the actual.fucking.goal you ASKED for –

AND –

(And this is the BIG and!) –

 

BEING WILLING TO DO THE WORK ACCORDINGLY TO GET IT ALL –

Doesn’t make you a diva baby.

It makes you a person who actually more than VAGUELY understands human potential –

And is willing to live into it.

WITH A CORE OF MOLTEN STEEL because let’s face it:

We may well bitch and moan and throw the biggest temper tantrum EVER when we don’t get what our want (even if we do it with a smile on our face ’cause hey – we’re high achievers and wouldn’t want anybody to see us crumbling!) but then we GET THE FUCK ON WITH THINGS.

We push.
We strive.
We do NOT take no for an answer, we do NOT back down, we do not fucking STOP.

We will traverse through fire.
Snow.
War.
We will bleed.
Sweat.
Cry.
And nearly DIE.

And we might crack it that we didn’t get everything along the way precisely as we wanted it but the reality is that all THAT will really do is cause us to roll up our sleeves and work HARDER to ensure we get it the next time. WITH a cherry on top.

See here’s the thing –

We grow up mostly conditioned to believe that we should settle.

That it’s wrong to ask for what we want.

Not to cause a ruckus!

TO ACCEPT MEDIOCRITY.

And then, at some point, you and I? Well. We woke the fuck up, and realised –

What the fuck is THIS shit? Why am I ACCEPTING this when there is SO much available to me? Why am I LAYING BACK AND TAKING IT when I can get up and FIGHT for it?

And then?

WE START TO GET UP AND FIGHT FOR IT.

Because it’s NOT actually that we don’t feel amazing | are falling apart | are struggling | etc … let’s face it, we operate at a standard of BEING that most people don’t even know exists! We just want perfection and we never stop striving for it … so we notice even the smallest bit of being ‘off’. AND THEN WE CORRECT IT. Back to being superhuman … 🙂

And the fact that we continue to have bizarre or just insanely high expectations of having everything on our terms throughout simply shows that we have some God damn self-respect, but also?

IT’S WHAT DRIVES US.

I don’t know about you, but when I look around at how people live their lives and what they accept as normal or ‘just how it is’, I gotta say I’m GRATEFUL to be such a precious flower. I’m glad I NOTICE when even the smallest thing inside of me or out isn’t as amazing as it could be. And you know what else? I’m GLAD that I’m never content with how much I’ve done or how far I’ve gone.

Doesn’t mean I can’t at the same time be grateful …

Doesn’t mean I don’t know how to back off or rest of I ACTUALLY need it …

And it sure as shit doesn’t mean I’m gonna let not having what I want yet STOP or SLOW me.

But I will let it drive me.
And drive me.
And DRIVE me.

And all those motherfuckers out there who think that to DEMAND WHAT YOU WANT is over the top, well they can LAY THE FUCK BACK DOWN and take it. But you and I?

BABY.

WE’RE GONNA KEEP ON BEING THE PRECIOUS DELICATE FLOWERS WE ARE.

WITH A CORE OF MOLTEN STEEL.

AND WE WILL TAKE WHAT’S OURS AND THEN RULE THE WORLD WITH IT.

The truth is …

People can look at us as selfish, ridiculous, unrealistic, narcissitic, what the fuck EVER.

But either way …

They will fucking look at us 🙂

And we are the ones who will change this world.

Here’s to you and your demands baby. I’M WITH YOU AND YOU DAMN WELL DESERVE IT.

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