WHEN YOU FEEL ANXIOUS, SCARED, YOU’RE FREAKING THE FUCK OUT AND YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO MOVE FORWARD … DO THIS.
When you feel anxious, scared, filled with nervous energy or you’re just freaking the fuck out, whether for good reason or not, and basically no matter how hard you try you don’t know how you can POSSIBLY move forward, here is what you need to do:
Firstly. Know and understand that it’s okay to feel emotions that you may currently label as ‘bad’. Fear, resistance, anxiety, OMFG AUGHHHH (yes, that’s an emotion!), these are NOT bad emotions and you don’t have to be afraid of feeling them. It’s not particularly helpful to be afraid of being afraid (kinda exacerbates the whole thing, ya know?!) but also, if you think about it, there actually IS no such thing as a bad emotion.
All emotions are there to serve you. They come up to show you the way. To tap you on the shoulder, perhaps, or to give you a swift kick up the ass, if need be, and remind you –
There’s something you need to pay attention to.
Or in some cases they come up purely because you’ve created a story in your head which goes something like this:
‘Something didn’t go the way I planned! Oh no! Oh my God! What’s this going to mean?! It might mean this! Or this! Or OMG THIS! And then THAT’S gonna mean this … and this … and people are gonna say THIS … and OH MY FUCKING GOD THE SKY IS FALLING IN AND WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE’.
When actually all that happened is you were running late 🙂
Or in fact NOTHING happened but you started freaking out like a motherfucker at what MIGHT happen.
Or, sure, something big and REALLY REALLY SCARY did happen, but either way, let me ask you:
How is it serving you ACTUALLY, to entertain these feelings?
Of woe is me and NOBODY UNDERSTANDS AND I just.
I would guess, just going out on a limb here but also an educated guess based on the fact that I used to repeatedly REALLY buy into the idea that I couldn’t act because of anxiety, etc –
It’s not serving you, particularly, and probably not at all, to entertain this shit.
And you do need to understand that you ARE ‘entertaining’ these feelings (and likely making them more at home than any of the feelings you say you WANT to feel!) and also that it’s a choice.
Anxiety is a choice.
Overwhelm is a choice.
Panic is a choice.
Fear and resistance and OMFG and the sky falling DOWN, is a choice.
And even if you don’t agree with that, it’s hard to dispute THIS, which is also, by the way, the second thing:
You can take action anyway.
You can take action anyway.
You can take action anyway.
So much of the so-called negative shit we feel is a simple outcome of the fact that we’re not showing up each day, across all areas of our lives, and doing what matters and what we SAID we would.
You feel stressed out, freaked out, it’s too much and you don’t know HOW and what if ALL THE BAD THINGS HAPPEN, so you don’t take action …
You sabotage or run and hide via means of food or alcohol or excessive refreshing of your Facebook feed in some kind of misguided quest to find the meaning of life …
You spiral your energy and motiation, not to mention your self-belief down –
OH so fucking far down.
All of which results?
In basically the WORST POSSIBLE FOUNDATION for which to begin the next day, the one after, the one beyond that.
And this? This simple little carry on effect of ALLOWING fear to rule you can, if you don’t wake up and do something about it NOW, and choose to react a different way when you don’t FEEL like it, literally tell the story of your entire LIFE.
What, you think that when you’re actively conditioning your body, your mind, your brain, your soul, your very DNA to be REACTIVE, when you’re on repeat imprinting the belief that you can’t HELP it, that it’s just how it IS, that at some point you’re going to magically wake up and start doing like the successful people do?
Fat chance baby.
It’s time to grow up, to get with the program, to pour a bucket of cold water over your head and realise:
IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN?
YESTERDAY you said today.
Sooner or later … you’re gonna stop believing your own BS and sooner or later … it WILL be too late.
So here is what you do.
When you feel anxious. Scared. Overwhelmed AF. When it’s all just going WRONG and even the little things seem to be on some kind of hellbent mission to bring you down. When you don’t possibly know how you CAN and you wonder if you even WANT to. When you just want to run … and run … and run … and HIDE. When you find yourself questioning whether you ever knew ANYTHING at all or ever WILL!
You man the fuck up baby.
You square your shoulders and you straighten up and you TOUGHEN up because baby this is NOT who you came here to be.
Oh, so something really scary DID happen to you, and it was bad and it was awful and you really DON’T know how? It’s the wrong phase of the moon, somebody stole your idea, you really HAVE been trying and it’s just not working and you don’t know how to COPE or keep GOING?
Well let’s just get real here!
You can give up …
Or you can bitch slap your ass and realise that no matter your story and how VALID it may be it’s also TOO FUCKING BAD.
You want it? Then you’re GOING to have to get TF up and go get it. The RESULTS that are out there waiting for you, your DREAM which is out there waiting for you, that shit does NOT care about your story.
It doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter.
You want the result, you be the person who gets to have that result. Period. I mean … you’re welcome to try some other way if you like! But don’t come crying to me when in the end what it comes down to if you don’t have what you want is you didn’t do the WORK. You didn’t be that person. And you didn’t do the work.
And I know –
That I come across –
Like I don’t give a fuck.
And you think –
That I don’t get it, that I’m just some kind of shining confidence beacon who never questions or doubts herself, or that because I have the results and the support and the know how it’s EASY for me or maybe you just think I was born like this, but guess what?
I struggle with resistance DAILY.
I get scared OFTEN.
I get pretty full on anxiety if I don’t take care of myself.
I had a serious clinical eating disorder for 10 years which nearly cost me my dreams.
I’ve had 2 failed marriages.
I’ve failed at WAYYYYYYY more stuff I’ve tried to sell than what I’ve succeeded with.
And to top it all off I nearly missed my hair appointment this morning due to a freaking Uber no showing! 🙂
Point is …
WE ARE ALL FUCKING HUMAN.
The people who you look to and wonder –
“How does she do it?”
Or you say –
“But it IS easier for her! It’s Kat! She just has it going ON”
Or you think –
“I could do everything SHE does if I had the staff … energy … body … what EVER …”
What you’re ACTUALLY doing here is essentially creating a story that you can’t have what you want, because guess WHAT?
How I got what I want, how my successful friends got what they want, how ANYONE got what they want, is not that they didn’t struggle with the stuff you battle. In fact, I’ve found that the successful people I know, myself included, have generally had some pretty big demons to face, both real life and within.
We just made our dreams bigger than our bullshit.
We got sick and tired of not seeing the life we wanted and knew we could HAVE, be created.
We became more scared of NOT living our dreams than living them.
Trust me, beautiful, when I tell you:
I know what it’s like.
To feel so scared.
To be terrified.
Of every move you make.
To question what you do.
To lament what you don’t.
To never know.
And to spend all day.
For everything to fall apart.
That even if you really did try or knew how life couldn’t BE that good.
And so you live –
Your life –
For years –
From I don’t know how.
From what IF.
From being PENT up.
And from so much –
I know what it’s like to look yourself in the mirror day after day after day and feel yourself deflate as once again you have to realise that you didn’t fucking DO what you SAID you would DO –
And to gradually start to wonder if you ever will.
And yes, when you feel freaked out and you ARE freaking out, you DO need to ground. Get back to your CORE. Do your journaling. Release somethng within. Work your ass OUT. Do what you actually NEED, but most of all?
Start fucking living like you’re actually meant to and DAMN well know you could be.
Because as much as I know everything I said above, here is what else I know:
I know what it’s like to wake the fuck up, realise that if I don’t NOW I may not EVER and then to start running like a bat out of HELL to press fucking play.
And I know what it’s like to get the results I now do, on repeat, as a result of THAT.
So as much as I wanna give you a hug and pat you and tell you I GET it, when you feel like that?
Here is what I really want to say to you, with love, the same way I do to ME when I needa hear it:
FUCK YOUR EXCUSES BITCH.
Life is Now. Press Play.
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