I Failed. Badly.

I’ve failed over 200 times that I know of, in business.

Maybe more! Almost definitely more! But who’s keeping track, right?

MOST things I have done, have failed.

Flopped.

Fallen DISMALLY flat.

I collect broken and dead domain names in a special graveyard all of their own. All of those dreams and ideas and things I was SO sure would work and that I spent SO much time on and often money on as well, that I really poured my heart and soul into (or in some cases just thought I had the MAGIC ANSWER TO EVERYTHING AND OF COURSE IT WOULD WORK), just …. gone.

Parts of ME invested into them, parts of me I can never get back, parts of me I could have spent with my kids or my husband or ME or doing something that God damn WORKED, right?!

You want examples? I GOT examples! Just off the top of my head now, in  no particular order and definitely NOT a comprehensive list (have you got a spare week or two to read THAT list?!):

• Live Your Dream Live. A one day event I was so excited about running, all around gaining clarity on what you REALLY want from life and how to get it. THIS IS THE STUFF I (STILL) KNOW PEOPLE NEED. But, I sold one ticket. Maybe two? Definitely no more than two, despite a pretty good push. So, I refunded and dropped it. I was devastated. I knew this was the work I wanted to do, so why was nobody BUYING it?

Lesson: It took me some time to learn that teaching people how to live their dreams, and live on their terms, has to be linked BACK to their most pressing desires, i.e. making money, or losing weight.

• The Look Great Naked Academy. Back in my fitness biz days I decided to compile all of my many digital products (total value if you bought ’em separately 2.5k) into one awesome thing that you could pay just $497 p/year to be a part of PLUS receive ongoing support and live training. The truth is I copied the business model of my friend Leonie Dawson with her Academy. I thought it was such a smart idea! Which it was. For her. I made some sales, but my heart just wasn’t fully in it, even though I think it’s still a great idea to be honest! But I’d included a Facebook group with it and I was already moving on mentally from my fitness biz so I ended up just shutting it down, not even really pursuing further sales after all the time I’d put in!

Lesson: YOU are the one who will come up with the right business model for you. Copying someone else’s biz model might seem like a good idea in theory, but it never works!

• The Dream Life Academy Bootcamp. Oh how I wanted this to REALLY work! I launched this at the start of 2014 and I had 14 sign ups. Not bad. NOT freaking awesome from a 20k+ list. I wanted 100 and I really put my ALL into launching this program, again so sure it’s what people NEEDED and so excited to create it for them. I think I made it too confusing actually, trying to incorporate so many different outcomes. The girls who did it LOVED it. But it just didn’t SELL.

Lesson: Be crystal clear on the SPECIFIC outcome of what you are offering, and be sure it is relevant to the current pressing need of your audience!

• Alignment & Asskickery Coaching. Again, me wanting to do what I REALLY wanted to do but not knowing how to link it back to what my CLIENTS want, aka to create freedom through a successful online biz. Nobody bought this offer. A few people responded to the shout out, but nobody bought. It frustrated me that when I sold ‘marketing and sales plans’, people bought! That’s not what they need!

Lesson: LINK IT BACK TO WHAT PEOPLE WANT!!

• Rich Chick Live. I wanted 100 people at this event last year! I was so sure I could create something massive! I had nearly 30, I think. So not a complete failure and, an awesome day. But it bears mentioning, because:

Lesson: if you want something to work then you KEEP DOING IT UNTIL IT WORKS and ever-improve upon it. You don’t consider it a failure because the FIRST attempt didn’t serve up everything you ever dreamed! So, possibly I will come back to this 🙂

• Numerous ‘can’t say no’ sales and flash sales and bundle sales I’ve put together for quick cashflow purchases over the years. Sometimes these work great. Other times they fall COMPLETELY flat, no matter how awesome the deal.

Lesson: quick cashflow sales are fine, but don’t bank on ’em as a dependable source of income. Also: always make the deal EXTRA awesome!

• Dream Life Coaching Sessions: Again, me wanting to do what I REALLY wanted to do but not knowing how to link it back to what my CLIENTS want, aka to create freedom through a successful online biz. Nobody bought this offer. A few people responded to the shout out, but nobody bought. It frustrated me that when I sold ‘marketing and sales plans’, people bought! That’s not what they need!

Lesson: sometimes you need to learn the same lesson multiple times over. Many, for me, in this case!

• MANY events I’ve wanted to do. My Munich JFDI event had zero sign ups. My Spain one also. To be fair, I pulled the plug pretty quickly and moved both these events to London. I am now on a plane to London to deliver said latter event, tomorrow! Which is fully sold out now 🙂 I’ve also had MANY events just not fill or have dismal sales and so I’ve dropped them. Too many to remember, or mention.

Lesson: react QUICKLY if something doesn’t work and there may be a simple solution. I.e, location. But also, drop things fast and hard if you realise your own resource outlay won’t be worth it. Sometimes it is worth doing anyway, with a small group! Depends on the situation; YOU have to decide.

• Desperate Dieters Only. This was WAY back when! Maybe 2008! I followed a ‘proven system’ to make millions with an ebook. It didn’t work. Largely, perhaps, because I couldn’t stomach following the system fully, and then got bored and moved on to more interesting things.

Lesson: you will NOT put the necessary work in to MAKE something work if it’s not fully aligned. But also: it’s okay to do stuff because it seems like a good idea THEN! You can’t be all certain in advance anyway! You can only ever act on what seems like a good idea now 🙂

• My own chocolate brand, Chocolat et Moi. Formed with a friend who owned a superfood company and supplied me with my (rather successful) Woman Incredible protein powder back in the day. We spent HOURS planning this! Not much money. But a lot of time and energy! Why? Because I thought it would be cool to have my own chocolate! Ha! Eventually I realised that creating a product line, never mind a FOOD product line in Australia (OMG the HOOPS to jump through) would, like, actually take a lot of work. And I had to admit I didn’t care THAT much.

Lesson: just because you love something does not mean it should be your business 🙂 but it can still be fun to explore!

• Fearless Wealthy Woman Monthly Membership Program. My first attempt to create a monthly membership platform for entrepreneurs. $99 a month. Same as my UBER successful Rich Chick Mastermind now is! But, this first one was just about me trying to ‘build up my biz and income’. I dotted every i and crossed every t to create an ‘awesome’ deal but my heart wasn’t in it and my reason for doing it was largely because it seemed like the best thing to do. Not one sale.

Lesson: it’s okay. You can only do the best you can do now! But keep looking for that thing that lights YOU up.

• PT Biz Kickstart Challenge. A 21-day challenge for $49 for PTs who want to build an online biz. I think I would still do this at some point! It failed because I invited 3 other girls to co-host it with me and nobody delivered their content (their hearts weren’t in it) and then I got bored.

Lesson: you have to really WANT to make something work! So do ALL the participants, if there are others 🙂

• A gazillion other ideas that I can’t even remember, from ebooks to online programs to live stuff to personal stuff to SOOOO many ‘special’ offers that nobody thought that special at all, to joint venture stuff (I REALLY prefer doing stuff alone, although I have had some joint venture success along the way; usually very spontaneously) to God knows what else I can’t even recall!

Lesson: you WILL fail. A lot. That’s okay!

But really, what a waste right? All that TIME all that MONEY all that ENERGY expended! Never mind the quiet embarassment at having to pull things because they weren’t working! Never mind the times I’ve had to run Facebook groups with just one or two people in it when I gave out an impression it would be MEGA!

Of course the only thing with the concept of it all being a waste?

It’s kinda NOT.

In fact I’d go so far as to say?

It’s kinda ESSENTIAL.

Yep. THAT kinda sucks, doesn’t it?! Although actually not.

Because then there is this:

How could I possibly know what would work, before finding my way through the things that do NOT work?

How can I possibly even NOW continue to know what works, without being open to some stuff just, well, NOT?

Short answer: I can’t.

Which brings me to this:

Neither can you.

There is no possible way, no how and no NEVER, that you can sneak your way past failure.

You might THINK you can, you might think you’ve made it and you’re nearly there! But trust me: it’ll grab you by the scruff of your neck and YANK you back down just before you slide through to the land of Dreams Coming True.

And? This might happen a LOT before you ever do shimmy through that door.

Also? Just because you WILL eventually get ‘there’ does not mean you have a lifetime pass and that you won’t on occasion be kicked out or just CHOOSE to take a break and head back to the land of frustrating fails.

And you know what? That is OKAY in fact it’s even a GOOD thing. I can tell you for certain: those who allow themselves to fail harder, faster, and more often are the ones who SUCCEED THE FASTEST.

I have some examples of that as well. In case you were wondering. Because the truth is, failing so often and often SO fast kinda set me on a path of, well, awesomeness.

• Because I failed so dismally with my Desperate Dieters ebook I ended up writing the book that came from the heart at the time. It became my very first online product! Still an ebook: Secrets of Lasting Weight Loss Revealed. I made my first online income with this ebook, $411 on launch day! I was PUMPED. Since then that book has made me over 30k, effortlessly. I still sell the occasional copy!
• Because I failed so dismally with my first membership program for entrepreneurs I DIDN’T HAVE TO DELIVER SOMETHING I DIDN’T WANT TO! I also didn’t make any MONEY (a lot of things failed around that time) which sent me into a spiral of debt, fear and having to fight for the business I REALLY wanted which eventually forced me to just give up on PUSHING and to go DEEP within and get deep into alignment, which ended up resulting in me launching, on a whim and a prayer, The Rich Chick Mastermind, which has since (in the past 12 months) made me WELL over 100k and been a springboard into MANY other successful program offers and says so really I would say it’s indirectly made me at least 500k in the past 12 months. No kidding. How’s THAT for a successful failure? 🙂
• Because my Live Your Dreams Live event didn’t work I went back to the drawing board again, and, well, didn’t replace it at first but I did the WORK to turn the work I wanted to TEACH into something people wanted to hear. And it was all groundwork baby! All groundwork that has led me to NOW.
• Because I failed at my chocolate brand, and several other things along these lines, I started to realise that I couldn’t in fact do EVERYTHING and that I’d be better off focusing on what I REALLY REALLY love doing, namely writing and speaking. So I started doing more of that. And, it worked.
• Because my desperate attempts to do endless Strategy Sessions (forgot to mention that earlier in the failure list!) as a means of growing my high-end client base didn’t work because I HATED it and didn’t properly DO it plus resented it even when I DID do it didn’t work I went oh my God I don’t know HOW many times back to the drawing board and eventually realised: I don’t want to fucking work with clients I have to SELL to. I want to work with people who already know they want to WORK with me! Now my high-end clients come to me pretty organically, often via referral or just because they’ve been in my community and already KNOW they want to go deeper. I’m pretty damn happy that the ‘right’ way didn’t work here, or I’d still be selling my soul to sell to people I don’t really want to work with in a way that doesn’t work for me!
• Because my Look Great Naked Academy bombed and didn’t automatically create me the tens of thousands per month I’d decided it SHOULD I had to face up to what I really wanted to do, and excel at: NOT fitness stuff! And so I moved on and officially rebranded myself under my own name and started talking about the stuff I WANTED to talk about. All of which still took me a while to figure out but is also what led me to HERE.
• Because SO much stuff just failed for no particularly big lesson or reason along the way I’ve learned – eventually! – not to take it personally, not to make it mean anything, not to allow it to slow or stop me even for a day and so NOW whether or not things ‘work’ I just keep on DOING the work and offering stuff every day, based on who I am and what I NOW know to be true!

I could go on and on all day here, but I think you get my point!

Namely, if you’re not right now where you want to be in your business or your life I GUARANTEE you that you need to embrace whatever failure you think has stopped or stuck you and then merrily continue on your way okay with the fact that you might fail again.

I mean, really: what’s the alternative? If you want to AVOID failure it means you also need to avoid action. Which, I dunno, I’m not sure but I THINK so could in fact cause you to avoid EVER GETTING TO THE LAND WHERE DREAMS COME TRUE.

You’re not going to just wake up one morning and get a ticket telling you that you made it if you didn’t in fact do the work to make it!

And the work is this:

You move FORWARD.

EVERY day.

Regardless of whether or not it freaking well works like you thought it would OR EVEN AT ALL.

Mmmkay?

And look – I know this isn’t easy! I’m not saying it is. But if it was easy, wouldn’t EVERYBODY have this life?

But they don’t.

And they can’t.

And they NEVER EVER WILL if they’re not willing to man the fuck UP and start doing things the way they NEED to do them in order to FIND THEIR TRUE PATH.

And that’s what it comes down to, really, isn’t it –

You don’t find your true path, the one that works, by trying to figure out how to find your true path, the one that works.

You find it when you’re out there in the trenches!

You find it when you’re getting blood on your face and the tears are burning your eyes and you don’t know if you can get UP again EVER.

You find it when you get the fuck back up ANYWAY.

And continue on your way.

I used to beat up on myself so much for all my flops! I still think it’s kind of a joke to be honest, like an actual funny joke. Every week I get a handful of domain name renewals in my inbox and half of them I don’t even remember setting up! That little list of failures above wasn’t even the 1% of it!

www.sexmoneychocolatelies.com? What was THAT supposed to be about? (Okay I still think I might use that!)

www.simplefastfatloss.com. Ah yes – when I thought the path to millions was to syndicate ALL THE FAT LOSS PROGRAMS on the internet and be a affiliate for them, run a generic blog behind a fake name, for traffic purpose. I spent a fair bit of money and time setting that up! Certain it was going to fix EVERYTHING! Never did anything with it.

www.canuhandleit.com? Don’t even go there!

Some of my failures are more dear to my heart of course. Some of them I really WANTED TO WORK and I truly felt ALIGNED with and I truly believed in. In fact, 99% of them I believed in and was aligned with at that time and so I gave it my ALL because that’s what you DO, and in many cases I even launched and marketed those ideas and yet they just – didn’t – work.

Maybe they were bad ideas or maybe my execution was poor or maybe my targeting was off or maybe I didn’t *really* give it my all, who knows why they didn’t work and who really cares anymore because here’s what I DO know:

Those failures?

They sculpted me into the successful, aligned, proud, confidant, EVER forward moving entrepreneur I am today.

Those failures, quite literally, made me.

They are the BEDROCK ON WHICH I BUILT THIS BUSINESS.

The foundation of my WEALTH success.

But also the foundation of ME.

Through failure, I’ve learned things about myself that success could NEVER have taught me.

I’ve learned about debt, about chaos, about fear.

I’ve learned about scarcity, about putting your EVERYTHING on the line knowing that if this doesn’t work I can’t keep going but then KEEPING ON GOING ANYWAY and learning incredible new things about myself as a result.

I’ve learned about tenacity and resilience and persistance and gritting my teeth and putting one foot in front of the other day after ever-living day and TRUSTING in the process because I CHOSE to not give myself any other choice.

I’ve learned about faith.

Oh boy have I learned about faith!

And I’ve learned that when I set my mind to an OUTCOME rather than having to get to that outcome in a particular way?

Well honey I can and I will GET to that outcome and I’ll be damned if a failure or 200 failures or 1000 failures or MORE will stop me.

Fail 1000 times, get up 1001.

So true.

So VERY true.

So obvious as well!

But yet most won’t do what it takes.

Won’t even throw themselves into the fray for fear of the failure!

Don’t you see how RIDICULOUS that is? Don’t you see how IMPOSSIBLE it is, for you to get to where you want to go without failing AS MANY TIMES AS YOU NEED TO?

Don’t you see how WONDERFUL your failures are because these broken dreams lay down the pavement that TAKES you to the land of awesome, they SHOW YOU THE WAY.

It’s time to embrace failure gorgeous. The past ones, and the ones that INEVITABLY for ALL of us are still to come.

It’s time to ACCEPT that you don’t get to have what others CAN’T if you’re not willing to do and also DEAL with what they won’t.

It’s time, quite simply, to do what needs to be done.

So that you can get to where you want to go.

So stop fighting it! Just ACT, for God’s sakes! Do it now! SURRENDER! What will be will be and you WILL prevail and you WILL find your path and it WILL be more amazing than you could ever imagine, but honey if you wanna GET there? You gotta go through the lay of the land however it happens to be for you.

I’m a failure. And I hope to GOD you are too.

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