IT’S A HELL NO, WITH EVERY CELL IN MY BODY

I don’t want your story.

I’m not INTERESTED in your drama.

And I don’t really GIVE a fuck about all the reasons why you can’t.

I don’t mean we can’t speak of those things from time to time, why wouldn’t we, it’s only human, it’s natural, it’s normal, but really now –

WE DIDN’T COME HERE TO BE NORMAL, so ACTUALLY –

Nahhhhh.

Don’t wanna talk about all all the reasons why you can’t, you shouldn’t, you’re scared, let’s just get back to being fucking CLEAR here, yeah?

About what we’re really here to do

AND

Who we ARE

We who came here to dance and play and tear shit UP (upppppp!), to create new worlds and then skip from one to the other, now I’m here, oh – you thought I was there? I’m already ten steps ahead of you, and now I’m back where you just left me; what’s that now? You’re tryna keep up, tryna figure me out, tryna reverse engineer this shit, good luck …

Good luck catching me in that flow zone!

Good luck being PART of it at all, when what you think you have to do to get amongst it is figure out HOW, do it RIGHT, dot your ‘i’s’ and cross your ‘t’s’, and if you pass ALL the hurdles then what? You get let in?

Superflow ain’t a fucking cool club baby.

There’s no initiation.

There’s no test.

You can’t PASS.

You certainly can’t pay your way in.

You can’t even PROVE yourself.

You’re either ALREADY ONE OF US and that’s just how it is and who you are and who WE are, orrrrrrrr –

#sorrynotsorry, but from where I’m standing?

It’s a HELL no, with every cell in my body.

It’s a HELL no, when you say hell YES, but what you actually mean is hell yes I would if I COULD.

WE don’t do ‘if I could’. We just hell yes and then leap.

So, no thank you. Thanks for showing me who you are though! G’bye …

It’s a HELL no, with every cell in my body, when your shit comes through my feed and it’s just, I don’t know … kind of MEHHHHH. Like – really? Really?! THIS is your raw, your real, your soul? THIS is what you wanna put out into the world and get known for and paid for, STAND for?

YUGH.

YUGH YUGH YUGH.

(yuck mixed with ugh, if you didn’t realise)

I mean … COME ON. THAT shit is not the real YOU shit, but okay, sure sure, I get it – it’s scary to put yourself out there! People might not like you! They might say mean things! I UNDERSTAND.

Would you like a blanky?
A cuddle?
A hot choccy with a marshmallow?
A smack in the face with a cold fish to WAKE YOU THE FUCK UP AND REMIND YOU WHO YOU ARE?

If you’re not taking the latter and QUICKLY, because after all – everybody flakes out on being all IN from time to time, so that’s okay, that’s okay, but REALLY –

If you’re not VERY fucking quickly smacking yourself back to PRESSING FUCKING PLAY ON YOUR LIFE –

I’m gonna see it
We are ALL gonna see it
Your soulmate PEOPLE, who need you to stand up and FULLY in your power so that they too can do the same are gonna see it –

And whether or not we consciously would express it this way, the OUTCOME is going to be thus:

IT’S a hell no, with every cell in our bodies.

I know –

No need to tell me –

That it doesn’t fucking MATTER what I think, who the heck do I think I am to tell you that YOU are a hell no for me, because you don’t do the work, you don’t show up, you don’t do what it TAKES?

Well –

Nobody said you had to listen to me.

But we both know that I’m just saying what YOU know to be true.

Consider me the vessel through which your soul shrieks at you

And sometimes I MAY even just give you a blanky and a cuddle …

But REALLY, also, you know what?

I didn’t get here by not knowing what I stand for –

And what I stand against –

(might be something to try someday, no?)

And here is what I stand against:

– People who say they’re going to and never fucking do
– People who base whether or not they show up for their fitness, their business, their life, on whether or not it’s the right phase of the fucking moon, or they had their period, or they just had surgery, or the dog ate their homework, or a vestal virgin didn’t come down from heaven above with a scroll and TELL ’em it’s time and their ready
– People who repeatedly “but I didn’t feeeeeeel like it” all over their lives until one day they got no life left to live

It’s not about whether or not you have what it takes.

Of COURSE you have what it takes, you were BORN with what it takes, you were born with EVERYTHING inside of you to be a God damn WARRIOR, and yet –

Yet.

Here you are.

TIPTOE-ING THROUGH LIFE LIKE A LAND MINE IS ABOUT TO BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE AT ANY MOMENT.

Living in fear and FROM fear.

And creating a life of, well, wait –

I forgot already ’cause it was so damn boring I couldn’t even put it into words.

THAT shit
When you SHOW it to me
When I SEE it in you
I’m not gonna lie –
It MAKES IT A HELL NO FOR ME, WITH EVERY CELL IN MY BODY

I just cannot cannot cannot and WILL not with the ‘I’m going to / I will / one day / when I’m ready / but it hurt’

Oh, so it hurt? You got a little ouchy? You were bleeding and crying and nearly dying on the floor?

BUT DID YOU DIE?

No?

Then why the FUCK are you not back in the game RIGHT AWAY.

You don’t love the pain of the push, I don’t love you.

I’m being an asshole on the internet again.

I know.

It happens …

I think you’ll find that if you know me you’d know I come ONLY from a place of compassion and love.

That I care DEEPLY.

That I almost DESPERATELY want you to live your purpose, say yes to your soul, and press fucking play.

I think you’ll find that if you MET me, got to know me, you’d be almost shocked at just how kind and quiet and thoughtful I am (people say it all the time) …

Only thang is –

You’re prolly never gonna know me, meet me, find that –

Because if you can’t take the fire and drink it down and ask for more and KNOW it’s what you never knew you ALWAYS wanted –

Then you don’t get to see and feel my soul up close either –

That’s just how it goes

When you show yourself to be a hell no

With every cell in my body

But thank you for playing

Thank you for being in my game

Thank you for being one of the characters who provides contrast to remind US who we are and how powerful we are and how WILLING we are to do WHAT it takes –

No matter what it takes –

Until it takes –

AND THEN KEEP GOING.

Thank you,

Good night

Good luck

Good bye

Amen.

’ve done so far’ to create all this stuff –

But month by month

Week by week

And even day by day ALL of what we’re doing behind the scenes here at The Katrina Ruth Show, to continue to put wheels on this thing, and run it like a MOTHERFUCKER.

We get to show people exactly what we do and exactly how to do it?

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