The King is aware he has built an empire held in high esteem by most, an empire everybody around him expects him to be proud of, to own his seat on the throne of fully, but he himself knows –
This is just the warm-up. He is frustrated that he hasn’t already created 10, 50, 100 times this. He thinks he should have been far further long by now. He should be on a level with the greats! He knows he IS a great, and he knows he will not stop until he climbs to the highest heights.
He recognises that his pattern is ALMOST to hold himself back from choosing the fullness of the greatness he sees before him. To almost veer away, because if he admits how great it must be, he must also accept the greatness of the loss he will feel if he cannot sustain it. He torments himself, because a man like him does not simply embark upon a mission he cannot sustain.
Should he, therefore, embark upon an ever so slightly lesser mission? One with a lesser pain and loss, should he fail?
No. This is not an option for him. This is not an option for a KING. And whilst he absolutely will allow himself time and space to wrestle with what he knows he must do, time and space before it becomes consciously certain in his mind, at least, ultimately:
The King shouts a resounding YES to what he is shown, to the fullness of what he is shown, and he does not back down from forging his way to heights unseen and not even heard of by the common man. He charges relentlessly into the fray, and he.will.win. He is the King.
This is how he sees himself. This is how he knows himself. This is how he chooses himself.
This does not mean he does not teeter. Feel. Worry. And this is where most will never understand, see, nor know, a King.
They see him as infallible, untouched by life or its demons. He sees infallible as a choice, and he slays demons every day and night.
He is the King.
He does what it takes.
No matter what it takes.
Until it takes.