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Purpose

SOMETIMES I DON’T FEEL REAL

Sometimes I look around at what I’ve created, what I’ve produced, what I show up and do each day on social media, and email, and in the very many other creative things that go on behind the scenes, and I think –

None of it is real.

What is even the point of this?

What am I actually building?

And why am I here?

Do you ever feel this way? A sort of … irritation mixed with vague hopelessness, that by now you thought you would have done something SO much bigger, so much more SOLID, so much more, yes, well – REAL.

Do you ever get annoyed at the idea that you’ve somehow planted yourself firmly in some kind of Groundhog Day social media playground where we are all just repeating each others bullshit, and rehashing ideas that have been the same since eternity began, there’s nothing new, nothing new at all, and now on top of it we have to all hear each others opinions on a myriad of NON message related things that we’re all ‘experts’ at, if not talking about, then certainly at filling up time and space with?!

Or is it just me, who feels this way at times?

Don’t worry, I’m sure I won’t remain so maudlin all month … all week … or even all day.

But also –

I don’t apologise for questioning myself or you or the whole entire game in this way, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing, a negative attitude, or even, as I just referenced, a little bit gloomy.

If we don’t question,

How do we continue to grow?

And if we’re not willing to see our own bullshit as well as the sometimes bullshit of ALL of it, how do we bring ourselves back to connectedness to what it’s actually all about; remember why we’re really here? How do we lock ourselves back on target, not to the general idea of being a messenger … a storyteller … a performer … a leader … somebody who helps others just with their very ESSENCE, never mind what they have to share and teach, but also to the specifics of what we should actually be DOING right now?

I don’t know about you, but if I don’t question, and at least entertain the idea of burning all the ships, all the ships NOW, then I tend to end up carrying some kind of layer of ‘crud’ and ‘should’ around with me.

The questioning and the maybe burning down clears the surface layer of bullshit which has crept up on me, disconnecting me perhaps only a LITTLE, but a little is already too much, from the core of what drives me.

And what drives me is this:

– Not being seen on social media
– Not having huge follower numbers
– Not having the right sort of pretty and polished look, that oh-so-aspirational lifestyle and self laid out for all to see
– Not having endless highly engaged conversations and much-liked or loved (love! Duh! You should ALWAYS press love!) blogs, or livestreams, or any of it
– Not even selling my shit, and seeing my money or any other numbers go up

Now I’m definitely not upset about any of that stuff. I’m not trying to will it away! And I’m also not saying it’s out of alignment for me to have it all goin’ on. Hell no.

I’m saying –

It does not stoke my fire.
It is not why I am here.
And, when I allow my focus, time, energy, ‘me-ness’ to be caught up in my growth of audience or money … my ‘online presence’ and how it looks … being pretty or put together or high vibe enough as a leader … gettin’ hot engagement on my shit … harping on and on ad infinitum about why you should buy my shit … (lol, yes I did just refer to me selling the stuff I passionately believe in and KNOW helps people in a mind-blowing way as ‘harping on’ … #mood) –

I lose my sense of self.
I get bored.
I get annoyed.
I start to HATE the same samey-ness of it all.
And I find myself wanting to tear the whole thing down, exit stage left, and never talk to any of you again but most of all, never have to talk to this version of ME again.

NONE OF IT FEELS REAL AND WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!

I don’t know if I am horrifying you right now, or if perhaps, just maybe, you can relate.

So then –

I dig in. And I ask – “okay, Kat. What if you just tore it all down. Is that what you want? Because you know you CAN, right?! So let’s play a game of imagine!”.

And I imagine just … stopping. What else would I do? Who would I be?

Well –

I would have things to say.
To write.
To speak.
To share.
I would get a lil crazy and ranty and silly sometimes, and probably cross the line with the relevance or the professionalism of some of those things.
I would DEFINITELY want to create stuff to help you, to bring you back to who TF you are, to sell to you, to kick your ass with!
And I would 100% want to be in a killer freakin’ conversation with you about all of it!

So … uh … MAYBE JUST A LITTLE BIT BIPOLAR OVER HERE KAT? Maybe don’t even know what you want or who you are at all?!

But here is what it’s about –

When I stop feeling real.
When I want to destroy ALL of it.
When I am over myself completely, and, in that moment, over every last other mofo out there as well, like EVERYONE.
When I think – “I’m not doing what I’m really meant to do still! There’s a layer missing … a level! I’m not BUILDING anything! IT’S NOT REAL!” –

Sure, maybe there is something I’ve been avoiding working on, that I’m scared of not being good enough for, or whatever.

So it might be that – commit, decide, and do it anyway! Ass in the damn chair and you do NOT GET UP TIL YOU DO THAT SOUL WORK. (For me this is typically to do with my book writing, for my ‘real’ aka bookstore books! Happy to say I am working on this stuff daily now though).

But actually, what it’s mostly about is –

I lost focus on my true underlying motivation.

And I let it get buried.

Back when I was a Personal Trainer, I would ask people 3 questions.

1) Why are you here
2) Why is that important to you
3) What do you mean / what does that mean to you?

1) Why am I here – because I have a message to share, and I want to do it in a way that builds something which stands the test of time, creates a legacy, leaves an imprint not just on this but also future generations

2) Why is that important to me – because there is a voice inside of me that just won’t quit, and wants, more than anything, to wake up and shake you and show you that EVERYTHING THEY TAUGHT YOU ABOUT SUCCESS IS WRONG. That if you keep on jumping hoops that way, you will NEVER get there, NEVER be fulfilled, NEVER do your purpose work, NEVER really live. And then you will die. That the answers are ONLY within you.

3) Why is it important to me to let that voice out, what does it mean to me?

^^ this is the ‘underlying motivation’ bit. When you get that, about yourself, or about anyone … you will never have a problem with taking action again. But! You gotta stay tapped in to it.

So why is it important to me?

– Not so I can make money
– Not so I can be an aspirational leader
– Not for your comments and loves and likes and shares
– Not even for your conversation and connection!
– Not to sell my shit
– Not to grow my following
– Not to make sure I stay one step ahead and head above the crowd on social media

It’s important to me for this reason, and this reason alone:

When I don’t let that voice out,

I can’t breathe.

I’m an artist, always, before I am an entrepreneur.

If you relate, let me tell you the one thing you need to know right now:

Put your art first, ALWAYS. Do it only for its own sake, no agenda, no trying or even HOPING that it makes you money, or achieves any other outcome. Do it JUST BECAUSE IT’S WHAT YOU ARE MEANT TO DO. Once you have let it OUT each day, then, if you’re so called, guided, inclined, go ahead and monetize the fuck out of it, and get it out to the OH so many people you know it can help. Laugh and dance and play and talk shit with those people, too! Get in the conversation!

But get your damn priorities straight, and remind yourself of them often, or soon enough you’ll look around and think ‘what the fuck is all this even for anyway?’, and why, despite working my ass off, do I still feel like I’m not doing what I’m really meant to do.

There are 3 parts to doing what you’re really meant to do, as an artist entrepreneur who also chooses to make serious money, and help a lot of people, and I believe they have to be done in order.

1) Let the art be the art, the message be the message. Do the art first. Do it fully. Do this always.

2) Be intentional about where the art goes / is published / posted / released, etc. What are you building? What do you WANT to build? Are you directing your art, your heart, your LIFE towards that?

For me, when I am off track or feeling shitty in the way I described today, it is generally that there is somewhere where I am not being intentional about what I am growing. I got point #1 down YEARS ago, I always and only let the art be the art, the message be the message. #thankyoume

3) Talk shit on the internet / everything else / focus on LESS important goals, if you like, like prettying up your shit … engaging in the conversation … doing other things in the ‘biz’ part of what you’ve got going on, and so on.

If you feel off track, it’s for sure that you have your shit out of order.

You’re not doing #1 fully, or first, making it the ‘actual’ thing when in fact, for you, it has always been the ONLY actual thing.

Or, you’re being a lazy shit about not building something that will actually last, you’re letting fear or whatever rule you, or yeah – you just have crappy habits. Either way, get over it, start building.

But as for feeling real?? Look, you can wake up feeling all mehhhh for any number of reasons. Could be as simple as, and often is – too much time on social media yesterday!

Regardless –

You’ll feel real when you do what you really came here to do, in the way you’re really meant to do it.

Don’t pretend you don’t know what this is!

And meanwhile, quit taking up space on the internet until you let your soul take up space in you.

Don’t forget –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

P.S.

Rebel.
Upstart.
Fuck the system; screw the rules.
Won’t do what they told me.
Too much.
Unreasonable.
Ridiculous.
Unprofessional.
Crazy!

Should I go on? I could, but I think you get the picture.

You’re the one who is not only not like the other PEOPLE, you’re also not like the other entrepreneurs.

They, they actually think they’re different; non-conformists?! Don’t make me laugh. You and I both see it as it is:

They just wanna be told how to build a pretty little website and a pretty little social media page or three and a pretty little online product or course and get their pretty little headshots and do a pretty little pre-scripted dance all over the internet so that other equally pretty fucking bland and boring and same same-y peoples pay them money,

And they can all sit in a pretty little womans circle together patting each other linking elbows and stroking each others hair and singing Kumbaya as the sun sets over another day of sinking ever deeper into the unremarkableness that is their lives.

They are the ones who are not only willing to jump through hoops, they also want to build more hoops for other people; they want to perpetuate the hoop jumping life and their whole sales pitch is basically some version of “I will help you to have a better and shinier hoop, come see!”

lolol

BUT REALLY.

Meanwhile, you –

You’ve tried the hoop-jumping life, maybe more than what you care to admit. And, whilst you’ve nothing against sitting around with other ladeez and stroking each others hair, you and your girls; the real ones?

You don’t exactly fit in in the typical woman’s circle.

You don’t feel at home with the pretty-preneurs, not even on the internet let alone in real life.

You don’t actually GIVE a fuck about having all your shit perfect,

Polished,

And just so –

And the idea of having sales and marketing and content processes which you have to systematically pre-plan and then work through and endlessly join dots with?

Makes you want to hurl.

Sure –

You’ve bought in at times to do the idea that maybe you DO gotta do it as they say.

An automated webinar, perhaps?? Facebook ads which carefully and smartly tell the world who you are and how you can help? A sales plan proven and tested by the greats. The gradual sinking slow decline of your soul, your joy, your dreams, and even your pussy as everything within you that once knew she could HAVE IT ALL AND DO LIFE HER WAY SLOWLY DRIES,

WITHERS TO NOTHING,

AND DIES?

Sure –

Why not

And look.

It’s not that any of these things are bad or wrong. Maybe right now you’ve got to a certain point by playing by the rules … kind of. Following what ‘logic’ suggests you do. Breaking free here and there with wild little jaunts into over the top madness, noticing how THAT lights you up and also how people respond to it … but ultimately continuing to go back to trying to find the right fucking system to get you to where you want to go,

Because this thing of trying to just be you interspersed with trying to get it all right and make it work, well –

It’s God damn tiring –

But also, in the end, if we’re going to be black and white about it, it hasn’t got you to where you want to be!!

You KNOW you should be making SO much more money.

NOW.

With consistency, and yeah, while of course of COURSE you’re down for doing the work, you also feel like it SHOULD be a lot easier, more flow

And you know that you know that you know that you’ve still not let out the most unrestrained and fully expressed side of you!

– The you they can’t look away from
– The you they are MAGNETIZED by
– The you who automatically commands a huge freakin’ following, and sales to match it

You know who I’m talking about –

THE MILLIONAIRE REBEL YOU!

Starting January 18th!

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/

The revolutionary fucking leader who tears SHREDS off of normal every damn day before the rest of the world has barely sipped its coffee!

Who is FULLY unleashed in what she says, how she shows up, how she does business, how she does life.

Who does not give a fuck about following rules! Or sales systems! Or strategies! Who can and will do what works for HER, and if it happens to resemble other ways people build an audience and make a fuckload of money online, cool, and if not, so what! That is not the point! The point is –

She knows what works for her.
She backs herself unapologetically.
She DOES it.

And she gets the damn results. The BIG results. The CONSISTENT results. The FUCK yes results, not just with money but with the VIBERY of it all.

Imagine …

Waking up every day and KNOWING you have crushed the day before it already begun because THAT IS WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU ROLL!

* Your shit sells (at any and all price point)
* Your creativity and inner ideas machine flows endlessly (you always know what to put out into the world and that when you speak people PAUSE EVERYTHING AND LISTEN, whether it is with free content and shenaniganery or with your paid stuff)
* You don’t even have to think about low end or high end or how to take people through a value ladder or some such bullshit, the value ladder is YOU CONTINUING TO BE YOU, and the more that you DO you the more people just take themselves through whatever it is you’re offering!
* It is easy, natural, fun, and OBVIOUS how to build your automated income, funnels, the ‘cash machine’ side of your business.
* In fact the whole damn thing feels fun and easy and like you’re just being you (the full on you, the too much you, the rebel you, the fuck all of ’em THIS IS WHAT I STAND FOR AND NOW I’M GONNA TELL YOU you!),
* and at the same time you have the DEEPLY grounded and certain knowledge that the way you’re doing it, hot mess and chaos vibes and all, is WORKING. PS – the reason you feel certain of this is because your bank balance and soulmate audience and their feedback reflects it, not bc your spirit guides told you it’s coming

All of this is ALREADY available to you.

It is who you are and what you were born for.

You did not come here for normal!

You are one of the truly crazy ones, who has something inside of her that will leave the world BREATHLESS –
and allow her to make millions and impact millions –

BUT NOT IF SHE CONTINUES TO DO BUSINESS AND LIFE BY TRYING TO SOMEHOW BE A NON-CONFORMIST WHO CONTINUALLY CAVES AND CONFORMS.

For this to work,

REALLY work, like next next NEXT level $ and life flow work,
you’re going to need to FULLY turn your back on the idea that your breakthrough is waiting on the other side of you adjusting, filtering, compromising, playing the game the way the other entrepreneurs are playing it, or worrying about what the fuck your social media looks like!

What you’re going to need to do is simple:

FLICK THE DAMN REBEL MILLIONAIRE SWITCH BABY.

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/

All in on madness.
All in on crazy.
All in on chaos.
All in on the TRUE epic awesome ridiculousness and too much-ness of YOU.

REBEL MILLIONAIRE

Starting January 18th!

For those who were born to run the damn thing,

To turn the world on its head and dance on top of it,

And who are ready to do just that.

>>> https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/rebelmillionaire/