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STARVED OF SOUL AND DRY OF VAGINA – THE UNFORTUNATELY COMMON WAY OF THE HUMAN FEMALE

In the book ‘Women Who Run With the Wolves’, which is certainly one of my all-time top favourite books, to be read and deeply studied again and again and then once more, there is a story of a seawoman who has a seal skin which, when worn, gives her life, beauty, music, joy, a vibrancy to who she already is; she becomes MORE of she.

The story goes that a human man somehow isolates her from her sea family, and steals her seal skin, followed by somehow convincing her to then marry him and have a child with him. He begs for love and loyalty, and promises that once the child is born and a season has passed he will return her seal skin to her and she can return to the sea.

The child is born and begins to grow, but yet the seal skin is not returned. “Don’t leave me”, he begs. “I need you, your son needs you.”

He doesn’t notice, or care, that bit by bit and day by day she is becoming weaker, paler, more frail, the light inside of her slowly fading, her very essence disappearing, and everything about her appearing to be, quite simply, dried out.

Eventually, and I’m cutting a lot out of the story here as I’m writing it without referring back to the book, so I hope you’ll forgive me, she manages to wrestle her seal skin back from him, and she flees into the sea, along with her child, returning to her father and family.

Within a week or less of being back in the water and reunited with her seal skin, she has come back to life. Her skin is luscious, her cells plump, her face lit up and alive, she is SINGING again, for the first time in years. She has been returned to who she WAS, beauty and love and light and FREEDOM shining from the inside out.

She knows she must return the child to land, but she cannot and will not ever be parted again from her seal skin, from the piece of her which had been taken for all that time, the piece which she had ALLOWED herself to lose, to let go of, convincing herself that it didn’t matter, that she could make do, and be fine.

Can you see?

The seal skin represents the soul, and the process of fading, drying, becoming almost translucent in appearance, represents what happens to women who allow themselves to be separated from soul, and soul desires, and soul NEEDS.

The man in the story represents anything which we allow ourselves to put ahead of soul; it’s not a story about a man taking from a woman. It’s a story about a woman allowing herself to be seduced by LIFE, into following anything but that which she knows inside of her is most true.

Not too many years back, I was this woman.

On occasion I come across an old photo of myself from when I was 33 or 34 years old, and it always seems to be followed by a sharp intake of breath.

The PAIN which hits me, when I see these photos, is kind of incredible.

I look so … lost.

So empty.

So faded.

So WEAK, but also at the same time so hard, so dry, so ANGRY, so sad, and definitely there is an air of having given up.

At the time I was already well underway doing my purpose work, but I was allowing myself to stay in a deeply unhappy and not aligned relationship which was … had almost fully … drained my soul.

And it showed.

Of course I never HAD given up, I always believed I could have it all, full colour living, and often I think when my eyes had that ‘in another place’ look it was because I WAS in another place, far far away. I learned to reactivate my other-worldly travel powers partly to protect myself.

I was always there in body when I needed to be.

But my spirit … that was another matter.

Wandering, searching, dreaming, seeking, and knowing, somewhere deep within, that it didn’t have to be this way, that I could feel lit up, fulfilled, happy, taken care of by life itself, loved, FREE.

It’s been quite a road since then I guess, and too many stories to tell in one blog post, but I think you only have to look at a current photo or livestream of me to see that I’m no longer that person.

A day or two back a client remarked that she’d noticed a HUGE shift in my joy level over the last year or so.

A few days ago I posted a photo from only 2 or 3 years back into my Daily Asskickery free Facebook group, commenting on how ‘nothing had changed’ (I was referring to the blog with the photo), and numerous people took great delight in pointing out how actually EVERYTHING had changed about my physical appearance, one comment mentioning I now look 10 years younger.

I think this is true.

When I look at myself now, I see a woman who is definitely still figuring shit out but who is HAPPY and who has slowly but surely learned to trust in herself and her own decisions again, in life, and in her inherent worthiness, worthy just for existing!

A woman who finally got her seal skin back, and KNOWS she won’t let go of it again 

*

Yesterday, I wrote a blog about some of the things other women say about women like me and my clients. Women who present themselves to the internet, as female leaders, as being supposedly stereotypically ‘hot’, and also dare to be happy, free, and RICH, while they’re at it!

It’s so funny, how even after writing a post like that, which stirred up quite a lot more than I thought it would, there are still people who get SO stuck on the idea that WE are somehow conforming, by looking the way we look, and more audaciously still, showing up the way we do – lit up and high on life, so bubbly I guess it’s infuriating when you are anything BUT that!

It’s funny because NO honey – we’re not conforming at all.

But we used to be, perhaps.

I was conforming when I allowed my soul to slowly slip away.

I was conforming when I told myself that maybe this was all I was worth, or deserved.

I was conforming when I slowly but surely adapted, thinking ‘well, maybe it’s not so bad after all … maybe I’m just making it up … probably it’s MY fault …’

I don’t mean things were NOT my fault, or more relevantly, my responsibility. My life is always and ONLY up to me.

But, I was lying to myself as bit by bit, pieces of me broke off, floated away, and bit by bit I became translucent, frail, lost, weak, whilst also hard, angry, and FURIOUS, at times, at anybody who dared to be living life like they were literally in love with every second of it.

I guess I was triggered or angry at times by women who were ‘too much’, and unapologetic about it, but also I was very very very drawn, and eventually had to admit – I was drawn to what I knew was available in ME.

I would get so so sad, when I’d see people who were truly happy in love and felt free in life.

I felt like it would be better – easier! – if I could only gather proof that EVERYBODY was unhappy!

Instead I couldn’t run from the fact that more, deeper, better, was available, and yet I was just not choosing it.

Anyway, it’s fascinating to me AND yes it annoys me AND I find it sad, when other women look at me and assume – she’s so confident / full of herself / cares only about surface shit / etc.

If they knew what I was, what I allowed myself to be, how I let my LIFE slip away from me, how STARVED I was, and then saw the deep deep work I’ve done to let myself be all that I CAN be, in all areas of my life, perhaps they would understand –

It’s just as available for all of us.

*

Fast forward:

This morning at the gym I had that slightly uncomfortable feeling again, of being ‘too much’.

I’m super tan right now.
I have tattoos EVERYWHERE.
My hair is down to my ass and platinum as fuck.
Even without makeup on my skin is fully GLOWING (it is what it is; happiness will do that, even after only a few hours sleep ‘cause I was having too much fun live-streaming last night!!)
And I’m in reasonably good shape.
Plus, y’know – boobs and tight / minimal gym gear 

I can see why I trigger people.

I trigger my OWN God damn self, a lot of the time!

On the inside, I’m still that shy girl who is not sure of herself and wants to be accepted and liked, and knows she has POWERFULLY transformative and healing work to do in the world.

On the outside, I am badass as fuck, and UNAPOLOGETICALLY EXTRA, in everything from the physical to the often more relevant energetic realm.

I noticed a woman near to me working out, about my age, working out VERY furiously.

I work out pretty damn beast-mode myself!! I love it.

But there was something about the way she was lifting that just felt aggressive in an overly masculine ‘fuck the world and its friends’ sort of way.

Protective energy.
Angry energy.
I’VE BEEN HURT energy.

Something I am familiar with 

She was … hard looking. Bitter. And DRY.

Judge me for this if you like, but what I thought, looking at her, was “I bet you have trouble getting wet”.

I wasn’t saying (in my head lol, not aloud) it out of ANYTHING other than that I’VE BEEN THAT WOMAN and I know ALL that goes with it.

She just looked DRIED OUT AND LOST, in all ways.

As I looked around, I noticed that nearly ALL the women in their thirties and forties have that same hardened and dry of spirit and soul look to them.

I thought of how that was me for so long.

I thought of how I think it’s still in me a little bit.

I thought of how grateful I am that every day it falls off, a little more.

Every day I have even more spring in my step than the last, and the playfulness and light-heartedness and happiness just bubbles out. Just like you can’t hide being lost, you can’t hide being found.

I thought of the story in the book, which I mentioned above, and that maybe I should write about this, about being starved of soul, and dry of vagina.

I thought that maybe it sounds like too ‘much’ of a blog title, like just trying to get attention.

I sat down just now to write it, typed it out, deleted it, stared at the ground, felt the sun on my shoulders and looked at the light dappling the ground in front of me, felt the JOY of all that I have let myself become and all that is now available for me, and in existence for me, and being created through and FOR me, and knew that I had to write it anyway.

Maybe for you.

Maybe to tell you –

It’s not how it’s supposed to be.

It’s just now how it’s supposed to BE, this emptiness inside of you, this lostness, this DRYness, the slow slow slipping away of your soul.

But also – it IS your fault.

I’m sorry – not sorry – but it is.

You allowed this.

You chose this.

You KNEW this is not the life that was laid out for you.

And you DO know that you still have the power of choice to change.

The only question is – will you?

Will you WRENCH your seal skin, your SOUL, back from where you’ve allowed it to be hidden, stolen, shoved into a corner, made to not matter?

Will you continue to binge, and numb, and pretend, and run, and stuff down, and LIE?

Or will you continue to say that first the kids have to get a bit older … you’ve gotta fix up your finances … maybe that SO NOT FUCKING ALIGNED RELATIONSHIP will just fix itself … maybe the fact that you NEVER do your true art or soul work will stop mattering …?

You can continue to be the lost one, the faded one, the one who is nearly see-through, and who will eventually disappear altogether.

It won’t really matter; you’ll fit right in … just look around.

Unless by ‘not really matter’ you’re forgetting that this is your life.

THIS right here is your life.

It’s circling the drain.

What are you gonna do about it?

Stop being so damn angry and sad at the world, when you know the only person you’re truly angry at is you, for knowing that everything you’ve ALWAYS dreamed of always was and still IS available, and yet there you go –

Throwing your angry weights and making out that ‘men are bad’, and buying into the BULLSHIT which your life is now being made up of, rather than simply remembering who you always were.

And walking away, without looking back, from everything you’ve become instead.

Remember –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

 

PS

MONETIZE THAT SHIT NO MATTER WHAT

{AND DO WHAT YOU WANT ALL DAY}

A One-Time Live Online Workshop with Katrina Ruth, on How to Make Money Anywhere, Anytime, With ZERO Dependance on Any One Platform, Program or Tool … Aka JUST BECAUSE THAT’S WHO YOU ARE … AND – With the Greatest of Ease

Okay. Imma gonna get straight up on your ass about what needs to be said here, because obviously SOMEBODY needs to hit the damn truth button on this shit!!

Straight up from the gate up, you do NOT make money because of Facebook.

Because of Instagram.

Because of email.

Because of ANY of this shit.

You make money because of who you are and what you decide and make NON-NEGOTIABLE, period, The End!

As you may be aware, in the last day or so Facebook and Instagram went down down down OH so far down.

After a few obligatory ‘stop the world!’ messages to my team and friends (which resulted in a serious convo with one of my soul sisters as to whether we’d now have to become porn stars instead), I got back to business.

The business of posting and selling shit on Facebook, which is admittedly a big part of what I do each day???

Nah … the business of being ME, because THAT is what I actually do each day, and also?

It’s what gets me paid.

Funnily enough, as is often the way with these things, just yesterday somebody was making smart-ass comments to me about how all the coaches would survive if there was no Facebook or Instagram.

“How would they survive?”, I asked myself.

“Well, I have no idea how THEY would survive but I sure as shit know how I would survive:

Very fucking well indeed, thank you very much, because that is who I AM”

Word to the wise:

A) I was making serious money long before I used Facebook for it.

Allow me to say it again for those in the back: YOU MAKE MONEY BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE AND THE LEVEL YOU VIBRATE AT.

Vibrate?

It’s an energy thang baby, a frequency shiz niz, it’s just who you ARE and how life works for you.

Handy hint —> the level of wealth you enjoy or moan over now is already just a direct reflection of your frequency, and expectations. It ain’t got jack shit to do with what you do, and it certainly is not a product of which tools are available to you.

It is a product of YOU.

When the socials went down today it was FASCINATING to me to observe the response that came through in the in-between-y bits when people managed to post something.

People worrying about how it would impact their business, or feeling in some way handcuffed.

This is crazy! It’s fear-mongering at its worst and it’s an absolute SHITTY mentality as far as belief systems around where results come from.

Do you know what I felt, when I realised we couldn’t use Facebook as normal for our biz stuff?

EXCITEMENT.

It took a minute to click in, but I found myself getting all wriggly and lit up with excitement.

I love a damn challenge 🙂

And since I also choose to believe that everything is happening FOR me, I also took personal responsibility for this occurrence.

Obviously FB and Insta had gone down in order to force me to finally pull my finger out and learn how to go live on YouTube.

But mainly – hell YEAH to the opportunity to get creative!

Probably taking the whole thing a little bit too far, as I worked my way through some sprints on the rower post HIIT weights session, I started to imagine what would happen if Facebook was TRULY GONE AND NO LONGER OF THIS WORLD.

I got MORE excited with each second that passed (which makes me remember how damn BORED I get as soon as I know how to easily do something aka make money all day err day on Facebook), and I also found myself AUTOMATICALLY GOING INTO ZAG MODE.

Zag?

You know, like ‘When They Zig you Zag’. A classic, if ever there was one!! Thank you Dad, for always having all the BEST books on your bookshelf for me to start reading from 10 or 11 years of age!

See, I have a belief system which works rather well for me and I guess is just part of who I am –

I believe that things ALWAYS work out perfectly for me, and are always done FOR me …

I believe I am always on path …

I believe I always make the right decision, so therefore I never have to beat myself up, I just wait for the lesson –

AND

(drumroll)

I believe that my outcomes are predicated only by my choices, and that there is nothing I EVER need in order to get or maintain or ONLY improve on an existing outcome.

It’s this mindset that causes me to wonder what TF it has to do with anything when people say things like they can’t be in shape ’cause they have kids or just had a kids … or ’cause they can’t get to the gym (for example)

And it’s also this mindset that causes me to KNOW that the money I make and the impact my soul work has in the world has NOTHING to do with what tools or platforms are available to me or working.

I programmed myself a long time ago to IMMEDIATELY swerve if something was no longer serving me or working for me. It’s this part of my mind which therefore right away started coming up with creative and imaginative solutions for how business would OF COURSE carry on (and improve!) with or without social media.

And it’s also this part of my mind which of course right away finds a way to monetize the damn thing and turn it into epic and highly helpful content for you, aka this workshop!

It’s just how I think, and who I am. I am simply unavailable for NOT moving forward, and nothing will ever ever EVER make me believe that I have to depend on anything outside of me for my results.

So why a whole damn workshop on the concept?

Well, it’s more than that, isn’t it?

It’s a mindset of believing that you always get what you want.

It’s a mindset of believing that everything always works out for you.

It’s a mindset of believing that NOTHING can stop you.

That everything is working in your favour.

And?

That you can monetize ANYTHING, any time you choose, and with no ‘requirements’ in order to do so!

I don’t have to tell you that obvs the outcomes you get directly follow and reflect your mindset and your beliefs!!

Here is what else, as well:

This is not just about making money any time, from any thing, and knowing that even with challenge or things going wrong you only THRIVE and EXPAND!!

For me this goes hand in hand with duh – I get to do all of that on my terms.

By having FUN, and being in FLOW, and with ease.

In fact, the more money the more ease!! #justhowitis

That I can literally click my fingers and money shows up for me, meanwhile I’m just over here doing ma thang.

Speaking of which –

I think it’s about time I shared exactly what I currently DO all day, yeah? And how I do it / fit it all in / honour ALL the areas, PLUS manage to spend so much time sitting on my ass doing sweet FA!

In other words … !

Let’s hang out together this weekend!!

Introducing:

MONETIZE THAT SHIT NO MATTER WHAT

{AND DO WHAT YOU WANT ALL DAY}

A One-Time Live Online Workshop with Katrina Ruth, on How to Make Money Anywhere, Anytime, With ZERO Dependance on Any One Platform, Program or Tool … Aka JUST BECAUSE THAT’S WHO YOU ARE … AND – With the Greatest of Ease

> It’s happening Thursday March 21 at 11.30am Brisbane time (Wednesday 9.30pm NYC / 1.30am London, UK)

> All fully recorded if you can’t attend live

> ALL your questions answered (either live during the workshop, or afterwards in the group if you can’t attend live)

> KILLER bonus content on Top 11 Most Effective & Proven ‘When They Zig You Zag’ Sales Secrets

> Live support from meeeeee in the group afterwards for anything extra you want and need to know!

> Free Bonus Entire COURSE for Everyone! My $197 Alignment & Asskickery Toolkit, a 14-Day Smackdown to Bring You Back to YOU, and Into Massive Aligned and Result Based Action! Yes, that’s an entire $197 course and you’re paying less than half of that for this entire workshop!

> All content yours to keep for life!!

GET IT, AT THIS PRICE! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

What We Will Be Covering!

1) How to Monetize ANY Situation, Including But Not Limited To:

* When social media or any typically depended upon platform goes down (including examples of how I have down this several times, to the tune of tens of thousands)

* Hater situations (including examples, again multiple times, again tens of thousands of dollars)

* When you make a fool of yourself / something embarrassing happens or you screw up (also examples! also lots and lots of lovely moolah)

* When people ‘screw you over’ (ahem, we will talk about this) or desert you (also examples! more money!)

* Basically how to turn any and all life situations, moods, changes of the moon, emotional ups and downs, real life SHIT, to money!

2) Why the ‘When Shit Happens’ times are often the BEST times to make money, aka this is where I teach you what it really means to understand human psychology in terms of SALES, and the mindset of being an actual IN THE FLOW entrepreneur, who ALWAYS sees opportunity and jumps straight on it

3) When NOT to Monetize (okay that one you can have for free – never!!)

4) Understanding Where Money Really Comes From – and aligning yourself TO the frequency of wealth, such that you can literally NOT.BE.IMPACTED by anything that 99.99% of people think will cost them business

5) Money Vibration Principles Revealed (… my own personal philosophies and things that I live by / instil into my being around this, including my own daily practices)

6) Coding For Success

* How to ALWAYS have an endless stream of ideas

* AUTOMATIC continual unleashment of creativity and imagination, especially in so-called times of struggle

* Seeing past problems and accessing higher self in order to always know the answer, and how to move forward

7) Programming to Upgrade – the beliefs, energetic states and emotional patterns you require in order to be this person, have all this work for you, ALWAYS see and have the ability to act on the shit that will most pay off

The ‘Do What You Want All Day’ Bit:

* Exactly how my typical day flows and how I operate for maximum efficiency of time, energy, mental acuity, soul connectedness, etc

* Getting it all done as a busy entrepreneur (and single Mum, in my case) who also refuses to operate at anything less than EXCELLENT in terms of self-care, fitness, fun, playtime, etc

* Exactly what I do all day, broken down to the detail, to helm this becoming-8-figure-empire

* Exactly what I do NOT do all day, either it just gets ignored (hint: a LOT that most online marketers think matters!), or I let other people do it for me

* Calling in soulmate support, even long before you are ready to afford it

* Optimizing energy, focus, personal power, happiness, general flow. Aka mindset and also brain / nutrition hacks and so on

* TIME MANIFESTATION. OH YES IT IS A THING.

AND, while we’re at it, we will also be talking INSTANT MANIFESTATION. The exact process I use to bring the future into the NOW, by clearing all blocks existing between its reality in the quantum and its physical manifestation in the now!!

GET IT, AT THIS PRICE! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

PLUS!

I’ll be doing this ‘Rapid-Fire’ Session at the end!!

1) What it really means to be magnetic online – hint: it’s not about having a pretty and polished website or online presence!

2) Bringing the ‘in private / behind the scenes’ version of you to the public

3) Unapologetic messaging and soul baring to call in your true #soultribe

4) Audience quality vs quality, and active elimination of those who don’t ‘HELL yes’ on your content

5) People don’t buy your products, they buy you. No – people don’t buy you, they buy your energy!! What that means and how to let it out

6) Being real about where you need to take care of YOU in order to be able to show up and shine fully

7) Keeping a laser-focus and tunnel-vision on your own path, and having the courage to pave the way that feels right for you even if it’s not been done before

8) Discernment to walk the line between being polarising and positively outrageous as opposed to just a hot mess 🙂 Scaling and magnetizing FROM the chaos of creativity and following the true artists way!

9) Knowing which ideas to work, what will sell, and how best to sell it so that the entire launch and selling experience is fun AND rewarding for both your audience and you

10) Creating hell yes offers that make them scream yes!

I know!

This workshop is off the HOOK already, and we haven’t even accounted for all the random shiz which will be coming out of me!!

GRAB YOUR SPOT NOW, ONE TIME ONLY! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

Don’t forget the bonuses >>>> !!!

> KILLER bonus content on Top 11 Most Effective & Proven ‘When They Zig You Zag’ Sales Secrets

> Live support from meeeeee in the group afterwards for anything extra you want and need to know!

> Free Bonus Entire COURSE for Everyone! My $197 Alignment & Asskickery Toolkit, a 14-Day Smackdown to Bring You Back to YOU, and Into Massive Aligned and Result Based Action! Yes, that’s an entire $197 course and you’re paying less than half of that for this entire workshop!

> All content yours to keep for life!

What are you waiting for? You KNOW that if you apply even ONE tip of the approximately gajillion I’m sharing here you’re going to 100x your investment back! Which is why I am even EXTRA excited to be able to give this to you at such a low price, as per the commandment of my soul!! Plus it’s fun 🙂

Okay then! See you IN there baby!

GET YOUR PLACE NOW! >>> https://zw144.infusionsoft.com/app/orderForms/Monetize-That-Shit-No-Matter-What

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