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STARVED OF SOUL AND DRY OF VAGINA – THE UNFORTUNATELY COMMON WAY OF THE HUMAN FEMALE

In the book ‘Women Who Run With the Wolves’, which is certainly one of my all-time top favourite books, to be read and deeply studied again and again and then once more, there is a story of a seawoman who has a seal skin which, when worn, gives her life, beauty, music, joy, a vibrancy to who she already is; she becomes MORE of she.

The story goes that a human man somehow isolates her from her sea family, and steals her seal skin, followed by somehow convincing her to then marry him and have a child with him. He begs for love and loyalty, and promises that once the child is born and a season has passed he will return her seal skin to her and she can return to the sea.

The child is born and begins to grow, but yet the seal skin is not returned. “Don’t leave me”, he begs. “I need you, your son needs you.”

He doesn’t notice, or care, that bit by bit and day by day she is becoming weaker, paler, more frail, the light inside of her slowly fading, her very essence disappearing, and everything about her appearing to be, quite simply, dried out.

Eventually, and I’m cutting a lot out of the story here as I’m writing it without referring back to the book, so I hope you’ll forgive me, she manages to wrestle her seal skin back from him, and she flees into the sea, along with her child, returning to her father and family.

Within a week or less of being back in the water and reunited with her seal skin, she has come back to life. Her skin is luscious, her cells plump, her face lit up and alive, she is SINGING again, for the first time in years. She has been returned to who she WAS, beauty and love and light and FREEDOM shining from the inside out.

She knows she must return the child to land, but she cannot and will not ever be parted again from her seal skin, from the piece of her which had been taken for all that time, the piece which she had ALLOWED herself to lose, to let go of, convincing herself that it didn’t matter, that she could make do, and be fine.

Can you see?

The seal skin represents the soul, and the process of fading, drying, becoming almost translucent in appearance, represents what happens to women who allow themselves to be separated from soul, and soul desires, and soul NEEDS.

The man in the story represents anything which we allow ourselves to put ahead of soul; it’s not a story about a man taking from a woman. It’s a story about a woman allowing herself to be seduced by LIFE, into following anything but that which she knows inside of her is most true.

Not too many years back, I was this woman.

On occasion I come across an old photo of myself from when I was 33 or 34 years old, and it always seems to be followed by a sharp intake of breath.

The PAIN which hits me, when I see these photos, is kind of incredible.

I look so … lost.

So empty.

So faded.

So WEAK, but also at the same time so hard, so dry, so ANGRY, so sad, and definitely there is an air of having given up.

At the time I was already well underway doing my purpose work, but I was allowing myself to stay in a deeply unhappy and not aligned relationship which was … had almost fully … drained my soul.

And it showed.

Of course I never HAD given up, I always believed I could have it all, full colour living, and often I think when my eyes had that ‘in another place’ look it was because I WAS in another place, far far away. I learned to reactivate my other-worldly travel powers partly to protect myself.

I was always there in body when I needed to be.

But my spirit … that was another matter.

Wandering, searching, dreaming, seeking, and knowing, somewhere deep within, that it didn’t have to be this way, that I could feel lit up, fulfilled, happy, taken care of by life itself, loved, FREE.

It’s been quite a road since then I guess, and too many stories to tell in one blog post, but I think you only have to look at a current photo or livestream of me to see that I’m no longer that person.

A day or two back a client remarked that she’d noticed a HUGE shift in my joy level over the last year or so.

A few days ago I posted a photo from only 2 or 3 years back into my Daily Asskickery free Facebook group, commenting on how ‘nothing had changed’ (I was referring to the blog with the photo), and numerous people took great delight in pointing out how actually EVERYTHING had changed about my physical appearance, one comment mentioning I now look 10 years younger.

I think this is true.

When I look at myself now, I see a woman who is definitely still figuring shit out but who is HAPPY and who has slowly but surely learned to trust in herself and her own decisions again, in life, and in her inherent worthiness, worthy just for existing!

A woman who finally got her seal skin back, and KNOWS she won’t let go of it again 

*

Yesterday, I wrote a blog about some of the things other women say about women like me and my clients. Women who present themselves to the internet, as female leaders, as being supposedly stereotypically ‘hot’, and also dare to be happy, free, and RICH, while they’re at it!

It’s so funny, how even after writing a post like that, which stirred up quite a lot more than I thought it would, there are still people who get SO stuck on the idea that WE are somehow conforming, by looking the way we look, and more audaciously still, showing up the way we do – lit up and high on life, so bubbly I guess it’s infuriating when you are anything BUT that!

It’s funny because NO honey – we’re not conforming at all.

But we used to be, perhaps.

I was conforming when I allowed my soul to slowly slip away.

I was conforming when I told myself that maybe this was all I was worth, or deserved.

I was conforming when I slowly but surely adapted, thinking ‘well, maybe it’s not so bad after all … maybe I’m just making it up … probably it’s MY fault …’

I don’t mean things were NOT my fault, or more relevantly, my responsibility. My life is always and ONLY up to me.

But, I was lying to myself as bit by bit, pieces of me broke off, floated away, and bit by bit I became translucent, frail, lost, weak, whilst also hard, angry, and FURIOUS, at times, at anybody who dared to be living life like they were literally in love with every second of it.

I guess I was triggered or angry at times by women who were ‘too much’, and unapologetic about it, but also I was very very very drawn, and eventually had to admit – I was drawn to what I knew was available in ME.

I would get so so sad, when I’d see people who were truly happy in love and felt free in life.

I felt like it would be better – easier! – if I could only gather proof that EVERYBODY was unhappy!

Instead I couldn’t run from the fact that more, deeper, better, was available, and yet I was just not choosing it.

Anyway, it’s fascinating to me AND yes it annoys me AND I find it sad, when other women look at me and assume – she’s so confident / full of herself / cares only about surface shit / etc.

If they knew what I was, what I allowed myself to be, how I let my LIFE slip away from me, how STARVED I was, and then saw the deep deep work I’ve done to let myself be all that I CAN be, in all areas of my life, perhaps they would understand –

It’s just as available for all of us.

*

Fast forward:

This morning at the gym I had that slightly uncomfortable feeling again, of being ‘too much’.

I’m super tan right now.
I have tattoos EVERYWHERE.
My hair is down to my ass and platinum as fuck.
Even without makeup on my skin is fully GLOWING (it is what it is; happiness will do that, even after only a few hours sleep ‘cause I was having too much fun live-streaming last night!!)
And I’m in reasonably good shape.
Plus, y’know – boobs and tight / minimal gym gear 

I can see why I trigger people.

I trigger my OWN God damn self, a lot of the time!

On the inside, I’m still that shy girl who is not sure of herself and wants to be accepted and liked, and knows she has POWERFULLY transformative and healing work to do in the world.

On the outside, I am badass as fuck, and UNAPOLOGETICALLY EXTRA, in everything from the physical to the often more relevant energetic realm.

I noticed a woman near to me working out, about my age, working out VERY furiously.

I work out pretty damn beast-mode myself!! I love it.

But there was something about the way she was lifting that just felt aggressive in an overly masculine ‘fuck the world and its friends’ sort of way.

Protective energy.
Angry energy.
I’VE BEEN HURT energy.

Something I am familiar with 

She was … hard looking. Bitter. And DRY.

Judge me for this if you like, but what I thought, looking at her, was “I bet you have trouble getting wet”.

I wasn’t saying (in my head lol, not aloud) it out of ANYTHING other than that I’VE BEEN THAT WOMAN and I know ALL that goes with it.

She just looked DRIED OUT AND LOST, in all ways.

As I looked around, I noticed that nearly ALL the women in their thirties and forties have that same hardened and dry of spirit and soul look to them.

I thought of how that was me for so long.

I thought of how I think it’s still in me a little bit.

I thought of how grateful I am that every day it falls off, a little more.

Every day I have even more spring in my step than the last, and the playfulness and light-heartedness and happiness just bubbles out. Just like you can’t hide being lost, you can’t hide being found.

I thought of the story in the book, which I mentioned above, and that maybe I should write about this, about being starved of soul, and dry of vagina.

I thought that maybe it sounds like too ‘much’ of a blog title, like just trying to get attention.

I sat down just now to write it, typed it out, deleted it, stared at the ground, felt the sun on my shoulders and looked at the light dappling the ground in front of me, felt the JOY of all that I have let myself become and all that is now available for me, and in existence for me, and being created through and FOR me, and knew that I had to write it anyway.

Maybe for you.

Maybe to tell you –

It’s not how it’s supposed to be.

It’s just now how it’s supposed to BE, this emptiness inside of you, this lostness, this DRYness, the slow slow slipping away of your soul.

But also – it IS your fault.

I’m sorry – not sorry – but it is.

You allowed this.

You chose this.

You KNEW this is not the life that was laid out for you.

And you DO know that you still have the power of choice to change.

The only question is – will you?

Will you WRENCH your seal skin, your SOUL, back from where you’ve allowed it to be hidden, stolen, shoved into a corner, made to not matter?

Will you continue to binge, and numb, and pretend, and run, and stuff down, and LIE?

Or will you continue to say that first the kids have to get a bit older … you’ve gotta fix up your finances … maybe that SO NOT FUCKING ALIGNED RELATIONSHIP will just fix itself … maybe the fact that you NEVER do your true art or soul work will stop mattering …?

You can continue to be the lost one, the faded one, the one who is nearly see-through, and who will eventually disappear altogether.

It won’t really matter; you’ll fit right in … just look around.

Unless by ‘not really matter’ you’re forgetting that this is your life.

THIS right here is your life.

It’s circling the drain.

What are you gonna do about it?

Stop being so damn angry and sad at the world, when you know the only person you’re truly angry at is you, for knowing that everything you’ve ALWAYS dreamed of always was and still IS available, and yet there you go –

Throwing your angry weights and making out that ‘men are bad’, and buying into the BULLSHIT which your life is now being made up of, rather than simply remembering who you always were.

And walking away, without looking back, from everything you’ve become instead.

Remember –

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

PS

I love you

PPS

It’s the final day to join Programmed to Upgrade …!

Are you coming on this ride with me? Are you ready to run into EVERYTHING you know is still there for you?

     3 PLACES LEFT   

It’s time.
You were called.
You are chosen.
Say yes.

PROGRAMMED TO UPGRADE!

Programmed to Upgrade is closing tomorrow, or when the final few places fill. 

Is it time to work with me 1:1?? Maybe … but you KNOW you gonna need to be ready, willing and OKAY with letting go of the BS and saying yes to all of you.

Message me now for the full overview.

What if you could become a new person every day, access all new experiences and realities, start each day with a fresh slate, and KNOW, that infinite possibility is available to you now, and also, of course, becoming true?

What if you were not only able to become a new person every day, but a new person each MOMENT, programmed, quite literally, to upgrade, automatically, and the better it got, the better it continued to get, and then keep on getting?

What if you could change your body in the blink of an eye, melt fat with your mind, carve out abs and a tight lean ass and thighs just because you decided to?

What if you REPEATEDLY went against the norms, the expected, the so called rules of behaviour of the world, of life, and even of your own previous self?

What if you actually understood and also LIVED by the reality that your mind is capable of anything, and WHAT if you regularly performed acts of transformation and creation which most would deem impossible, outrageous, mystical, magical, it must be witchcraft, it can’t be, it’s surely WRONG?!

And what if –

You knew that it wasn’t only WRONG, it was 100% fucking RIGHT, and indeed HOW IT WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE?

And WHAT if –

You started now?

Introducing PROGRAMMED TO UPGRADE. 

DOORS CLOSE TOMORROW.  

25 Days.
One on One.
You and me.

To quantum leap like you’ve NEVER leapt before.

Warning:

This will be intense …

And a lil bit scary. But buckle up, because you KNOW you’re ready for it.

SO fucking ready

Programmed to UPGRADE! 

DOORS CLOSE TOMORROW.

25 Days, 1:1, with Katrina Ruth, to SCREW the Rules, SCREW the Norm, Go So Damn Extra, So Freaking Hot, So Fully SEEN, and Snap Your Future Into the Now So Damn Fast It’d Make Your Head Spin … even as you nod in certainty that of COURSE, this is what was ALWAYS supposed to be ..

Here is what this is about:

You can create, shift or change anything with your mind, you can become a new person each moment, you can PROGRAM yourself to upgrade, and ensure that the better it gets the better it just KEEPS ON GETTING.

You can become stronger each day.

Leaner, fitter, hotter and faster each day.

YOUNGER each day.

More energised, more radiant, more sensual, more magnetic, more desirable and adored and SEEN.

Attract more and more MONEY each day.

And have your soulmate clients … business … lifestyle … and LIFE, simply show up for you, on repeat, with the click of your fingers, the blink of your eyes, and the clack of the back of your ruby red slippers, together.

And now?

I’m going to show you how.

*** 20 Places Exactly, Message Me NOW If You Know You Need to be In! *** 3 PLACES LEFT *** 

In Programmed to Upgrade I want to show you, I want to work with you, I want to kick your ass as you reCODE you, to become, step into, and receive, the following:

Oh and by the way –

Hell to the YES we are talking mystical weird as fuck but PERFECTLY FUCKING NORMAL SHIT.

Normal if you know that TRUE deep magic, and instant transformation and manifestation is normal; that kind of normal 

Seriously though … this is seriously next next NEXT level, and it’s more extra than anything you’ve ever seen or contemplated.

IF YOU HAVE EVEN AN OUNCE OR A SKERRICK OF A SCEPTIC’S BONE IN YOUR BODY

DO NOT APPLY

I can’t WORK with you if you’re not a believer

But if you believe

And you always have

And you’re now ready to LIVE into that belief, allow it to FULLY become embodied, real, and true, then, well –

Here is what’s going to happen, when you work with me in Programmed to UPGRADE

A little taste, first, some things which I journaled just now, which are true for ME, and which are my reality, my norm, my now, and what I have ALLOWED:

“I have INCREDIBLE energy
I have the BEST sleep
My sexual experiences just get better and better, and more and more flow
I ALWAYS make money while I sleep (or do anything)
I ALWAYS receive tens of thousands of dollars each day
Money flows to me like a RUSHING RIVER
ALL of this is true NOW
MORE and more is shown to me each and every day and I open myself UP to more and more each and every day
The more money I make, the more money I make
The more on purpose I am, the more on purpose I am
The more I open myself up to mad crazy quantum leaps the more open I become and the bigger and faster the leaps
All things are available, and given to me now
I quantum leap DAILY, with money, with mindset, with energy, with sex, with LOVE, with my body, with every element of my business and life
I am the among the best in the world at reprogramming my mind and manifesting instantly
I am becoming leaner right now as I type
Body fat is melting off me
My abs are being carved out
My legs and butt are smooth, toned, TIGHT, sexy, hot
I look and feel fucking incredible
I stand up tall and proud and I feel HAWT
EVERYTHING is possible and I know this
I practice changing my beliefs and reality daily
I allow myself to quantum leap daily
I allow myself to receive and also give total adoration and love
I am becoming leaner, richer, tighter, hotter, brighter and more lit up as I speak
This is the best moment of my life, and it JUST GETS BETTER FROM HERE

Do you know how available all of this is for you? Do you realise? Do you understand?

It’s what we’re about to do together, as we begin, this journey.

And here is what you will experience, what you will REMEMBER, what you will come back to, because of course NONE of this is new to you. Is it now?

Okay then.

In Programmed to Upgrade I’m going to show you how to step fully into the energy and the reality and the NOW of:

* Receiving money like magic, rivers and rivers of money flowing to you, almost as if from nowhere, more and more each day, all from a place of purpose, passion, and flow, and for the greater good of yourself and of others

* Doing NOTHING for this, nothing at all, YES it sounds ridiculous and once again ‘wrong’, by the NORM, however what this comes back to is trusting and knowing that YOU WILL BE DOING THE WORK YOU’RE MEANT TO DO REGARDLESS, that that is who you ARE, and what this is about is faith based RECEIVING, by virtue of energy, expectation, decision, and vibration. As for what you WILL now be doing … you will being you. All of you. Fully you. Purely for the PURPOSE of being you, and expressing what is meant to come out of you into the world, and baby THAT bitch?

Deserves to get paid, aka deserves to RECEIVE, in ever greater amounts and with ever greater ease and flow and so that is what is gonna get to HAPPEN

* Contracting and expanding time, stepping away from living IN or BOUND by physical time, and instead accessing the reality that all time is available now, and therefore are quite literally able to access all POSSIBILITY now, and so – you will

* Having more and more people find you each day, be drawn to you automatically, through the energy, through your signal, through the collective, and have them desire to give you money (more and more each day) and also DO so

* Instant manifestation in all areas, via accessing other realms / dimensions / worlds, and completing the work and energy shifts in that place, whilst also clearing what needed to be cleared in the physical

* Accessing and also CREATING, now, all things inside of you, fully

* Knowing your own mind, your soul, being deeply and daily connected to what is divined, required, and desirable, by and for you, and also allowing yourself to bring it all to life, SNAP – now

* The best damn sex of your life – magic sex and energetic orgasms on the repeat 

* Immediate access to superflow and pure bliss

* Shifting into instant FAME

* Being fully SEEN, known, desired, and heard, loved and adored by millions … or whatever your aligned desire in this area is

* FULL message and soul / purpose work clarity

* FULL ability to give and receive and be IN love

* Ability to heal and change your body of aches, ailments, energy disruptions and pains, just through decision and choice

* Your soulmate clients coming to YOU and signing YOU up, then loving to pay you upfront and / or with ease, right away

* FULL support, of the most desired and soul aligned and mind-READING kind, in all areas

* Being fully taken care of and treated like a Goddess and a Queen by others

* KNOWLEDGE and certainty that God has your back and you are abundantly taken care of

* Your ideas brought to life INSTANTLY

* Creativity running through you like a tap that you couldn’t turn off if you tried

* SUCCESS elevation as powerful and rapid as a gushing river

* Every day better and better energy and every day dropping deeper and deeper into superflow

* The ability to increase your income (and all receiving) each day | week | month continually, again without DOING anything, simply BEING who you are meant to be

* Continual transformation across all areas, for the greater good and continual rapid ENERGY shifts

* Being lit up and buzzing as your natural state – simultaneously having access even whilst IN the physical / human state to other realms and knowledge wisdom brought down from your own higher self as well as the collective, being able, therefore, to bend time and space and reality at will, even whilst moving through your day

And most of all, and what ALL of this connects into and is about –

Recording your body, mind, income, health, wealth, love, lifestyle, anything, in an instant – clicking your fingers or blinking your eyes and SEEING MAGIC HAPPEN

Becoming the ALREADY AVAILABLE version of you who upgrades automatically, across all areas, where upgrading and becoming the next level you is your habit, and your natural state, as a result of which

* Everything you desire is brought to life, immediately if not sooner
* EVERYTHING you desire and see and feel inside of you is known and acknowledged as already real and true, and you know and understand that all you need to do is choose it
* You can become famous NOW
* Crazy lean and hot NOW
* Sensual and sexy and desired and adored NOW
* Confident, badass, beautiful, owning your fierce feminine divine energy and power, and being a magnet to your soulmate people all around the world NOW
* Receiving of love, adoration, gifts, opportunity, ‘luck’, and INFINITE quantum leaps NOW becomes your daily norm
* You wake up, every day, and you CREATE THE NEW YOU WHILE YOU ALSO LIVE IT

DOORS CLOSE TOMORROW. 

There is more I have to say about it.
CLEARLY this is some next level mystical magical shit, and not for everybody. But for those for whom it IS divined, it’s not fucking mystical at all.

It’s precisely what you’ve always known.

And what you’re now ready to access. 

If that’s you, message me and tell me why it’s you, and we will go from there.

   

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