Stop Telling Yourself Not Yet!
I’m angry today gorgeous.
I’m fired up and pent up and feel like I’m about to BURST with damn near RAGE.
Don’t worry … not at you!
No, I’m angry at me.
You wanna know why? I’m going to tell you anyway; no need to answer! No need to READ either of course. I mean really, most of what I blog about is just my own personal ramblings and self-indulgent naval gazing about the state of my own business and life!
I sometimes wonder if I’m just talking complete shit, going round and round in circles on the same old stuff instead of just DOING THE WORK.
Except of course this is me doing the work.
And except of course I get tons of thank you’s every day, from those who WANT me to keep rambling on about what it really takes, what it really is, what we have to FACE to create this life we want.
And today, this is what I’m facing:
I’ve been lazy.
I’ve been avoiding.
I’ve been freaking LYING TO MYSELF about what I’m doing and what I want.
In short, I’ve been allowing feelings of being stuck and unsure and I don’t quite know what the next step is to STOP ME MOVING FORWARD in certain areas.
I’ve been like a whinging bloody schoolgirl refusing to go on out into the playground because her feelings are hurt. Not doing herself or anyone else any good!
Or something.
Truth is, I get myself into a right bother at least once a year.
“Am I doing what I REALLY want to be doing?”
“Is this HOW I want to do it?”
“Do I really want to keep going down THAT path?”
“How can I do what I really want to do?!”
Same old same old questions.
They never go away, just so you know. If you’re thinking that once you get to ‘x’ or ‘y’ level, or once you’ve got the money shit sorted, or even once you *know* you’re doing what you’re really meant to do that these feelings will go away?
NEGATIVE, soul sister.
Nein.
Niet.
NICHT so.
Sorry to tell ya.
I mean me? I AM in freaking alignment. Or at least I think slash know I am most of the time! I AM doing what I want to be doing! I love the clients I have! I’m building my dream business around my writing and speaking. I’m making money AND a difference!
So what the fuck have I got to whinge about?
Well, being human I guess.
Meaning, simply: the questioning never stops.
And you know what, I think that’s ok. I think it’s critical even, to look within often, and ask –
Is this what I REALLY want?
Have I shifted from my true path?
Is there MORE?
Am I doing what I SAID I would do?
And, of course, inevitably –
Am I avoiding something?
Here is what I’ve been avoiding:
For a year now, or more (okay for about 15 years but who’s counting?!) I’ve wanted to make freaking BIG money from my writing and speaking.
Which I do, via my online business.
Which is cool but what I’ve always MEANT really, is from book writing. I want to make MILLIONS as one of the world’s most transformative authors and speakers.
And I know I can. Yes, I’m that full of myself; that certain of my calling 😉
But yet, here I am again, stating the same old dreams and desires that I’ve yet to take any REAL action on.
Have you ever found yourself doing that?
Okay, just me then!
Crazy thing is, I’m an action taker. I get shit done. I set goals, I make ’em happen.
Unless those goals are my EVERYTHING, it seems.
The more INFURIATING thing about it, and where I’m getting ANGRY today, is that because I’ve been up in la-la land in my head most of this year trying to figure out how I become the worlds’ best transformative author and make a killing doing it (like it’s so hard! Just do the work!) I’ve let a ton of other stuff in my business slip.
I’ve actively NOT done the work of growth that I’d normally done.
I’ve had a great time keeping on keeping on but I’ve been putting on the back-burner the FURTHERING of the online side of my business.
From the outside looking in you’d not know. I communicate pretty damn regularly! I sell stuff often. I’m there for my clients. Everybody’s happy.
But what I know, that you’d never know if I weren’t specific, is I stopped doing one very important thing. One thing that, when I DO do it regularly, literally COMMANDS my forward progress, income progress, list growth and all of it.
Simply: I stopped saying what I want.
I sure THINK about what I want … I ponder and I even journal.
But I stopped CLEARLY stating my goals and intentions:
*For my income
*My community growth
*How I want certain endeavours to go
*What I want to DO
*And how I want to be
Which means that I stopped really FOCUSING on these outcomes at all. Vague thinking does not count, being SPECIFIC counts when it comes to claiming your dreams!
And when you stop being CLEAR with saying what you want?
Why, it’s obvious, isn’t it? You stop getting clear outcomes.
You get vague wishy-washy outcomes to match your vague wishy-washy goals.
Do you know why we do this, the vague goal stating instead of the specific stuff?
I do.
*We’re scared that if we say exactly what we want we might have to admit we’re not willing to do the work to get it.
*Or we’re scared that if we say exactly what we want we might DO the work and then NOT get it and what the fuck would that mean?!
*Or we’re scared that we MIGHT ACTUALLY GET IT and not be able to maintain or even handle it.
And a whole bunch of other stuff.
But yep, fear. Coupled with shirking and hiding out and being God darn LAZY about doing what is necessary to create the life you SAY you want except you’ve STOPPED saying you want it and maybe you never truly STARTED and so why the frick are you wondering why you don’t have it?!
Don’t worry.
Me too, with the book thing.
And to an extent also with the whole damn business and life thing these past few months.
Well, let me be the first to say – no more.
NO FREAKING MORE BABY.
No more WISHY WASHY wondering and hoping that it will somehow all just magically come together!
Today: you stare into the eye of the beast.
Allow me to join you.
You state what you want.
I’ll do the same.
You be PRECISE.
(Is there any other way, if you actually want this to work?)
And then you do the motherfucking work gorgeous.
Boom.
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