THE KILLING OF THE CREATIVE FEMININE
Oh honey, don’t you know –
You shouldn’t say that, men don’t like that, other women won’t like that, you’ll get a name for yourself, don’t DO that, now shush, and go, quietly, back to your work.
Oh little girl, what did you say?
That’s funny, that’s cute, that’s sweet, just be careful though, and remember – if you show too much of your soul, somebody might take it from you, so best, really, not to, and look –
Let me show you how to be like the others, how it’s done, and then, you are safe.
Oh child, with your magic, and your lightness, and your dreams, and your fairy-tale way of seeing the world –
No (said with a slightly patronising smile, and a tilt of the head) –
Art isn’t learning.
You can do that when you’ve finished your lessons child, now back, to the things that matter, and away, from the things that call you, because don’t you realise, didn’t they tell you the rules?
If you want to do it –
If it’s calling you –
If it feels like FUN – !
That means it’s wasteful of time, and of energy, and not what a GOOD girl does, and you might be able to do just a little of it as a luxury when you have done the things you MUST but only, of course –
If you colour between the lines.
Just like us.
Just like us.
Just like us.
And the way we were shown, so that, nobody can see our heart, but more still than that –
So that we ourselves don’t see our heart or worse still –
Oh darling, yes, I know you were born with the knowledge of the ages deep inside of you, with wisdom running through you just as thick as the blood in your veins, with the mysteries of the collective ALWAYS just accessible, and I know that when you were young you did things, you knew things, you SAW things, and magic, was normal.
Visions would come to you.
And you’d travel –
In your heart
In your soul
In your spirit
To places where you’d create other worlds, and dance in them, and see EVERYTHING that was to come laid out before you, and you ALWAYS knew –
Exactly what to do
And exactly how to do it
There was never a question
There was never a doubt
AND SO LIFE WAS
I know this. I remember this time too, but didn’t you learn?
This was the way we thought before we were told how to think. What is allowed. What to talk about. And what to lock away. Ever so tightly. And then tigheter still. Until eventually we forget –
It was ever there.
Don’t TELL people you can do that, don’t SHOW them you know that, and for God’s sakes – !
Keep your mouth shut about the worlds between worlds and the layers you can see even right now in this moment –
As you look around –
The physical just one representation of what you’re currently IN.
And when you do your art –
As I know you inevitably WILL, for, as much as they tried to tell us that that is not what a GOOD girl does, it crept out, it snuck out, around the edges, we tried to quiet it and keep it down, we TRIED to conform, but there was always just a LITTLE bit of crazy popping out, and eventually a bit more, and soon enough we just COULDN’T hold it back, and so it came out –
But how did it come out?
When you do your art –
You can breathe the SMALLEST bit again, because finally you’re DOING the damn thing, but really –
It’s EVER so careful
It’s EVER so safe
And look – !
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL JOB YOU DID OF COLOURING IN THE LINES BABY GIRL!
And with a pat on the head and a smile, they send you on your way, YOU send yourself on your way, and you feel –
The feeling of just barely TOUCHING your own soul coupled with the ANGUISH of letting it languish and die.
What a very interesting feeling …
What a very interesting way to live your life.
As you dance and play and write and create and PRETEND you’re doing what you came here to do when the whole entire time you’re still just that child –
Waiting for a gold fucking star and hoping you did it right.
KNOWING that if you let what was really inside of you out it would horrify | fascinate | magnetize | appall, but MOST of all it would LIGHT YOU UP WITH THE POWER THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE, and maybe –
Just maybe –
You’re not ready to be all that you are.
They tried to kill us.
They tried to keep us down.
They told us how to be safe.
They told us the RIGHT way.
The mocked our art, and made it small, made it a task for ‘after the real work’, for ‘fun’, and of course if it’s fun it can’t be real, it can’t be life.
We can get angry at them …
We can feel betrayed …
We can scream and shout …
But don’t forget –
Somewhere along the way –
We let them.
And somewhere along the way –
We REALISED this was wrong, and then?
We kept.fucking.letting them!
Your curiosity will kill you.
Your art makes you a crazy one, unsafe, not fit for normal society.
If you bare your soul you’ll get hurt.
Accessing your feminine WILES is dangerous.
Hide your sensuality.
Push your truth down.
And for the love of God –
DON’T SHOW THE WILD.
There you go –
Good girl –
You’re doing it right –
And now we lay you down to rest
Preserved and pretty and just the way we always wanted you to be
Another lifeless clone of the rest of us
And the worst part of all is maybe not even that you never lived your God damn life, the WORST part of all is that you allowed yourself to be an example for women to come –
Of how to not be who you always were.
But well done …
You didn’t go out of a single line!
You get TEN gold stars.
And one soulless life.
Maybe you were gonna be somebody
Maybe you were gonna tear shit up
Maybe you had something BRILLIANT in its strength and power and RAW and wild
It doesn’t really matter
It was all just a game of make believe anyway
And look – !
Don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.