I was on the stair-master this morning, glancing at my phone screen about to change my tunes, and caught myself stopping to really take in the image of my amazing man on the backdrop.

Who am I kidding, I do this basically all day. I have one of my fave ‘manly’ pics of him as the lock screen, and my fave sexy one as the backdrop. #ofcourse

As I floated away on a little bliss bubble for the gajillionth time this year, looking happily at his face, it hit me how FUNNY it is that I truly felt it was so separate to me, for so long, to be this loved and in love, in a relationship with a man who makes the concept of ‘soulmate’ seem like some kind of very drab dried up basic husk of an idea.

Our relationship is the ‘beyond what I even was capable of dreaming of’ reality my soul ALWAYS knew would arrive.

And yet, for so long – an eternity, or at least a good chunk of one – it felt far away –

not for me –


At my core, I never believed it was impossible and I always had faith.

The smallest mustard seed sized bit of it, it felt!

But deep down, yes. I believed that HE would show up. When he did, it felt like – “oh, there you are. OF COURSE. It could never have not been you. It always WAS you, and it’s always been ‘us’. We just managed to avoid each other for 40 years in the physical”. Plus, goosebumps and chills and an 8 hour vortex on a plane, and several direct spoken guidances from God.

It all just fell into place so seamlessly, as though it had never NOT been in place. Fast forward til now, and despite the fact that we’ve now spent over 230 days separated due to the fight for full communism in the US, sorry, did I say that? Due to Coronavirus … despite what EVER has been thrown at us and the world, and that we still have no idea when we’ll get to physically be together again, it ONLY gets more seamless.

More of course.

More yes.

I looked at his face on my phone this morning, and I thought – isn’t it just so funny? How we so truly let fear, uncertainty, impatience, dominate our thoughts such that we ACTUALLY CAN’T FEEL WHAT IS ALREADY OURS.

We can’t feel it –

and so we question whether it’s true –

even though that deeper lil mustard seed of faith part of us has ABSOLUTE belief and trust –

but we live on the surface, fighting to try and find what’s within, and fighting ON said surface to try and ‘get there’.

Do you do this?

With money, perhaps? With having the business you actually want? With calling in the kinds of clients you truly desire, and know you’re here for? With love?!

Trying to get there by being enough.
By doing enough.
By somehow proving ourselves.
Or, worst of all, by slowly sadly and OH so surely slipping in to the dance-bitch routine of ‘this is how I obviously have to act’.

– I obviously need to be more feminine
– I obviously need to slow down more, be still more
– I obviously need to hustle more, push more!
– I need to do proper marketing
– I need to do proper lead gen
– I need to do it like her
– I have to be better
– I need to be more organised!
– I need to be more careful with what I say, more considered!

Do you know what I hear, when I hear you say these things, and similar?

I can’t trust myself.

I can’t trust myself.

I can’t trust myself, I can’t trust LIFE, and I DO NOT DARE.

I do not dare to relax.
I do not dare to be led ONLY by inner guidance.
I thus do not dare to trust I have my foundations right, and CAN therefore trust inner guidance.
I do not trust I am taken care of.
Or perhaps even worthy to exist, let alone worthy to receive!

But darling –

what if you did?

What if you just knew –

You’re worthy to receive.
Everything you see and feel or have even a whisper of is for you.
GOD is for you.
LIFE is for you.
And you.are.taken.CARE of!

What if you just trusted –

That you can’t get it wrong.
That the moves you make are the right moves BECAUSE YOU MADE THEM.
Meaning that every move you worry back and forth about whether TO take is the right move, stop wasting time and your life, take it!

And so on.

What we’re talking about is simple:

Knowing that the things you dream of are already yours. Signed sealed and delivered. Amen!

Knowing that this does not mean you need to figure out HOW, make it WORK, push yourself TOWARDS it, worry back and forth over getting it wrong!

Knowing that what you dream of one day having, of being lucky enough to have, or good enough, or of somehow ‘tricking’ your way into, is NOT SEPARATE TO YOU.

It’s within you.
It’s within you.
It’s within you.

Specifically what is within you, which will allow the OUTCOMES you dream of to just roll on in like a sandy messy surfy friend off the beach who didn’t realise they’re 2 hours late for lunch and is all just ‘heyyyyyy’, is this –

You realising that YOU already have it within you to be the person who is ‘of course’.

Of course I make money like this.
Of course I have clients like this.
Of course they show up like this.
Of course I show up like this.
Of course he / she / they showed up like this.
Of course LIFE showed up for me like this!

Of course I am the person who has the motherfucking things, done DID the motherfucking thing, and IS the motherfucking thing.

And if you knew already that it was ‘of course’, then tell me –

pray –

what bullshit would it now be time to drop,

and what glorious unveiling of TRUE you would the world get to see?

Make no mistake gorgeous.

What is for you is already there for you.

And your expectation around that or no is literally dictating your reality.


maybe what you need right now,

is lessons repeatedly learned.


maybe you’re done with Groundhog Day-ing your way through the same mofo growth on repeat, the same mofo trust issues with God and soul and LIFE, and the same mofo lessons learned,

Thank you very much.
Your services have been SO helpful.
But no longer required!

And maybe you’re ready to just go to the place within,

where it’s already ‘of course’.

Either way –

today is a great fucking day for a lesson.

Choose yours.