Your problem is you refuse to let yourself actually hit your goals because you’ve made some kind of contract where it’s okay to be ‘nearly there’,

but never ACTUALLY so.

This may be an issue of worrying that you’d not be able to maintain it if you DID go all the way,

or perhaps you’re scared of being THAT untouchable, too perfect, too much, too difficult for anyone to relate to, pushing them down through your awesomeness,

(which is not actually a thing just fwiw)

or maybe it’s as simple as the fact that there’s still a part of you who thinks “but what if I don’t actually have what it takes?”

And so you aim high, but not too high.

You win, but in a way that OTHERS admire or think is some kind of huge accomplishment, but not really you.

You strive, and grow, and progress CONTINUALLY on the journey of fuck yes, just –

careful careful like.

And the whole entire time your head is pounding and your teeth are grinding and your fists are clenching with the unavoidable knowledge that YOU ARE NOT ANYTHING LIKE ALL IN.

In fact if you’re honest about it … you’re barely toes in.

You’re standing on the edge of the life you have ALWAYS been meant for, you’re looking out at the vast expanse of EVERYTHING your deepest parts know is absolutely available, and you’re saying –

“but what if I can’t?”

“what if I DO go all in, and I drown, get stuck in the middle, end up in a circle, or marooned on some random other shore, but never.actually.get there!”

So you pretend you’re happy, toes in.

Splash splash.

Splish splish.

You build some pretty sand castles.

Better and fancier maybe than everyone around, or at least THEY think so!

But you’re playing on the shores of a life that is not for you.

Gazing out to the world where you’re meant to be.

And simply not CHOOSING to go there.

Not much fucking joy, actually very little to none at all, in being Queen of the wrong world.

Is there now?

Yet, if you don’t change TODAY,

it’s very unlikely you ever will.

Quit lying! You know this is true.

Your future is EASILY predicted, it’s a further down the line outcome of who and what you’re currently being.

Unless you one day wake up and simply GO to where you’re meant to be,

you’re VERY unlikely to ever do so.

And when I say ‘one day’.

I mean THIS day.

What, you think there’s another one?

Your problem is you have ‘there’ so far up on a damn pedestal you don’t realise that the folks who ARE there find it quite normal. In fact they probably have their own version of ‘there’, where they’re gazing off to. Just as YOU will, when you finally pick up your skirt tails and wade in!

There’s always another there.

Which is fantastic, actually, as it makes this whole thing simple as anything:

Move the signposts on what ‘there’ means, in order to transcend the goals you’ve made so lofty, and not for you.

Go BEYOND the things you’re gazing at wistfully,

make them smaller,

more obvious,

‘of course’,

SEE WHAT IS BEYOND, and set your sights on THAT.

Make it so it’s a natural outcome of just being on your journey that you go to ‘there’,

and then sail effortlessly past it.

OR –

you could just get the fuck over yourself and have the damn vagina vibes to decide to hit your goals anyway.

That’s always a choice.

Why not do both?!

Or hey, sure, just continue what you’re doing. Being the big fish in a pool that bores you to tears,

and was never meant to be all of you anyway.