YOU ARE SAFE TO BE FULLY YOU

Most every decision you make in life which later results in you wondering why in the actual fuck you did that | said that | stayed in that | lived like that, comes from a place of feeling like maybe it’s not safe to be you.

Maybe?

DEFINITELY, is what your fear-based human mind has had to say about it a lot of the time, let’s just be honest!

In fact, if you look back, you’ve likely spent a disturbing and shocking amount of time gathering EVIDENCE that it’s not safe to be who you are, you’re not allowed, it’s not ACCEPTABLE, and you must conform, tone it down, quieten, be what is EXPECTED, forthwith.

Like the time you stayed in the shitty relationship for years … something Amanda Frances and I were talking about in bed this morning (soulmate client slumber party last night!) … about how we both DID that.

Thinking there was something wrong with us, and so trying to make it work, when actually it just wasn’t a FIT.

Or, how about all the clients you’ve said yes to over the years; even ‘overcome objections’ on, so that they would sign up, when if you were honest with yourself you freaking KNEW, from that initial conversation that this person?

Doesn’t get it, doesn’t get you, doesn’t THINK like you do, and so was not a FIT.

But yet instead of seeing THAT truth for what it is and honouring it, you assumed that YOU were the problem, that you should shift your beliefs or procedures or whatever, because if this person didn’t like what you were offering or how, then surely that was ON YOU.

Or, what about when you wanted to wear that crazy out there outfit or piece, or do something whacky with your hair, but at the last minute you thought, hmmm – that’s a bit much. What will people think of me? What will they say? Who do I think I am to show up like THAT?!

Ah, ‘who do I think I am’ …

One of the most favoured statements of the fear-mind, designed and sent from the depths of resistance hell to QUASH the dreams and visions and destiny of women like me, women like you, creatives and rain-makers like US.

Who do I THINK I am …

That I could write that …

That people should listen to me …

That I can carry on like that, present myself to the world like that …

That I can expect to LIVE like that …

Or LOVE like that …

Or be loved –
Accepted –
Wanted –
LIKED –

For being who I am. For expressing what’s inside of me. For allowing my crazy to show, but also, my truth.

And perhaps that’s the biggest fear of all. The fear of what would happen if we showed our truth.

My team posted a clip on my business page yesterday, from a livestream I did, with a man in my life, on Saturday in my CLOSED Facebook group, on Unconvential Relationships and Non-Monogamy. That’s what my team do; they grab my content and clip bits out, repurpose it, post it around on my biz FB or wherever else.

I saw the clip late last night as I was about to go to sleep, and I felt that small rush of fear rise up.

I mean … I’d kept it on the DL on FB before that … loosely referenced it outside my group, but not directly shown the title or what the content was about.

And I thought, with this clip boldly now on my business page –

What will people think?!
What will SPECIFIC people think, yep, but also, hmm – I wonder if that will cost me any business?

Well, I long ago decided that I didn’t want business or even a single ‘like’ from somebody who doesn’t fully get and accept me JUST AS I AM, but sometimes these moments come up to test us 

And I guess here is the other thing –

In business … or in friendships, love, any part of life … it’s all very well to say you’re not scared or worried about what people think of you … but, well, firstly, that’s bullshit and you know it, but SECONDLY –

Are you actually showing them in the first place?

Do people KNOW who you are?

Do you bare your naked truth, and truly MEAN it when you say ‘take it or leave it, and either way it’s fine’?

Or are you skirting around the edges of not only Facebook, but your LIFE –

Showing yourself as a pretty woman or a cool dude, with some inspiring / interesting / educative things to say, maybe flirting a little bit with some OPINION, but mainly, making sure you do it right, fit in, preen and groom yourself just right, act like you’re on board with other peoples jokes or thoughts even if you’re not, BE LIKE THE OTHERS –

Hmmm?

Which is it?

‘Cause I gotta tell you, if your approach to MONEY MAKING is anything along the lines of ‘how does everybody else do it / show up’, or like what I just wrote above, you’re in for a rude awakening called NEVER BEING ABLE TO QUITE PAY YOUR BILLS.

Let alone make the impact you know you were here to make.

It’s funny … well, not really, I don’t know why I say that actually, but anyhow … in my marriage, I fought so hard to be what I had to be.

To accept.
To suppress.
To ‘understand’ that it wasn’t normal to WANT to work on my business and my art a lot.
And I made bargains, if I could do my thing with my writing one night, the next night would be a couples TV night. 

For example.

I spent so much time trying to MAKE MYSELF BE HAPPY BEING NORMAL, in so many ways.

What I was really doing, was striking a bargain for how often I should be allowed to be me.

Can you imagine?!

It sounds ridiculous.

It’s funny … well, fucking awesome, actually … right now I’m sitting in bed with one of my clients. She shared my room last night after I hosted my San Diego Soul Shifts and Money Makin’ Day yesterday, and she didn’t want to drive home. I always say, I know you’re really a soulmate client if I’d be happy sharing my bed with you!

Anyway –

Amanda is typing away next to me.

We’ve spent the morning between laughing, talking about launch and selling stuff and how easy making money is, reviewing notes from people’s feedback on our hilarious livestream we did in bed last night, talking about man and dating stuff, and then naturally both pulled out our laptops and started doing our thing.

And totally aligned to DO that, in this situation.

I don’t know how normal it is for a mentor to invite her client to share her bed … to me it seems OBVIOUS (now) that I wouldn’t take on a client who I’m not also going to become very close friends with.

It’s a soul thing.

To me it seems OBVIOUS (now) that I wouldn’t give my heart or soul to ANYONE who I couldn’t also be fully myself with.

It’s actually how it works …

I used to journal about what it would be like to be with a man where you spent the whole day together doing stuff like journaling, writing, livestreaming, creating, letting cool ideas come up, also doing ‘normal people’ fun shit as well of course.

It seemed like a surreal idea, imagine – !

Just like it used to seem like a surreal idea, imagine – ! That I could have ONLY 100% soulmate badass clients, and indeed an entire online tribe.

Now, these things are my normal.

My clients fully GET me, and I fully get THEM. We are CUT FROM THE SAME CLOTH.

I mean … come on. In how many other situations where a couple of girls stay overnight together would they then be sitting in bed in the morning together creating content and making money, as well as talking about all the important and silly things? Running multi-million dollar business in their PJs!

Well, in my world it’s normal that this is how it would be.

And I’ve realised it gets to be normal and ALLOWED in all areas.

On Saturday I had a day with a man pretty much EXACTLY like the one I described above.

We got up, journaled, blogged, went to the gym, did 4 livestreams between us, did some idea-storming, napped, created more, went out and did dinner and drinks, etc.

LITERALLY the sort of day I used to wish could be possible with a guy.

But did we SPEAK about, or PLAN it? Of course not! It just happened; because we were both just being who we are.

Did Amanda and I speak about or PLAN a late night livestream last night? No! It just happened, because in our world why would you NOT livestream if having a slumber party. And this morning, now, doing our thing, it’s as simple as we both know we can just be who we are; there’s zero doubt, in fact it seems almost silly that I’m turning it into an entire blog post!

It seems a bit silly to me, because this IS just how it is now, in all areas of my life.

But I know it’s not silly to share with you, because I remember how I used to feel; not HAVING this, and longing for it.

Now, I 100% show up as me, in all situations.

CHOOSING to do that means I also say exactly what I think, even if it’s scary or uncomfortable to do. I speak and own my truth. I ask for what I want. I expect to be ALLOWED to be me, in all ways. And my expectation is also that I only have people in my life who not only fucking ACCEPT that –

Like, they ‘don’t mind’ … but really they’re wondering when the fuck you’re going to be done and conform to what they think you should be … when you’re going to be done being you (!!)

I might say something like ‘I don’t give a fuck’ if people don’t love me as who I am, they can fuck off then.

I might be curt and aggressive about it sometimes, like, if someone tells me I really shouldn’t say this or that, or don’t I think such and such.

Well, actually, no, I don’t! Or I would have said that; der.

But the truth is it’s not that I don’t give a fuck.

I still care what people think about me.

I still want people to like me.

There’s still that little girl inside of me who wants to fit in, be accepted, be liked, be worthy of love and attention!

So no. It’s not that I don’t give a fuck if you don’t like me.

It’s that I finally learnt to give MORE of a fuck about being me.

Then what I gave about whether or not that was ok.

In the end, nobody ever taught me I was safe to be me.

I didn’t get a certificate to allow me to do that, I wasn’t sent permission from heaven above to say it was ok.

In the end I just decided I was tired of working so damn hard to be somebody else.

And that it was a game I was never going to win anyway.

I decided to press play on the one thing I was born for.

Being Katrina Fucking Ruth.

And I’m all in on that shit.

How ’bout you?