ABOUT THE FEAR OF BEING ALONE
The greatest fear we all have, I believe, when you clear the rest, dig WAY beneath the surface, and get to the core of it, is the fear of being alone.
I don’t just mean in terms of not finding a partner who can match how damn fully you play life (although sure, I do mean that as well!), I’m talking in a general and ‘overall’ sense.
If I give in to my full power,
And I become all that I am,
Say yes to EVERY part of me,
TRULY embrace my magic, my greatness, my ALL,
Who in the actual fuck will be able to keep up with me?
Who will ACCEPT me?
Who will fly that damn high into the sky WITH me?!
Sub-consciously, it’s EXTREMELY likely that this is causing you right now to play small, and not be all of you.
This is particularly going to be true if you’ve not actually actively addressed this shit, cleared it, chosen to BE THE DAMN THING ANYHOW and also decided that hell YEAH your perfect people will appear the MORE you be you.
A year or so back, maybe more, I had a vision.
In it I saw clearly that as I accessed my full power and truth I would expand SO greatly that I would fly up, up, UP into the sky.
In the vision I became like a kite, and it felt SCARY.
I felt the fear-mind tell me – “don’t do it! You’ll be CUT FREE AND YOU’LL FLY AWAY ALL ALONE”
Alonnnnnneeeeeee! (Said with an echo, as though you’re falling into a black hole and will NEVER COME BACK AGAIN!)
Lol. Can you relate? Have you felt this way? I’m not surprised. Like I said, fear of our power is literally the greatest fear of all.
I’m not the first to say this 😉
I was actively going into this vision because I wanted to uncover why I wasn’t going all out yet. I mean sure – I’ve built a VERY successful online empire. I get to live location free. I’m in great shape. I have the exact lifestyle of my dreams. I don’t have the relationship yet – but damn straight it’s on its way, and there is ZERO doubt in my mind I will. Fast, too, I reckon.
But being successful and having achieved beyond what most people EVER will even CONSIDER, let alone action, I don’t have to tell you that that is NOT the same as being ALL of you.
And I knew,
So, I went into the vision, I saw and felt and leaned FULLY into the fear of being alone, ending up flying high into the sky and having nobody with me and I stopped and put my hand up and said FUCK YOU VERY MUCH I’M DOING IT ANYWAY.
It’s always just a choice, y’know?
To tell fear to take the backseat (if it does INSIST on coming along, which it often does… thank you Liz Gilbert for the reference), and keep its mouth shut.
I hear ya.
I’ve considered your suggestion of not pressing play.
Nah! Gonna do it anyway.
This morning I journaled on what I need to forgive or release from within myself about relationships, and love.
What have I chosen into, which I will now forgive myself for?
It was a question posed to me by my relationship coach Crystal Irom, who, by the way, is next level.
“What do I need to forgive myself for, or release, from what I’ve previously chosen in relationships?”
The answers came through and they were NOT pretty.
– That I wasn’t good enough for love, that I must not be worthy or good enough, that I am not worthy as a person
– That love is scary and bad and hurts, will hurt and attack you
– That love is angry, impatient, mean (yeah basically I trained my brain to believe the opposite of the Corinthians scripture about what love is!!)
– That I must be a bad person
– That I can never do enough, I am hard work or high maintenance or I always get it wrong
– That I am never attractive enough, no matter what
– There’s something inherently wrong with me
– That I don’t deserve happiness or just to be able to relax, be at ease, be safe
– That I obviously am not special
– That I deserve to be sad or unhappy
– That you can’t have it all
– That everything good turns to shit in the end
– That NOBODY CAN KEEP UP WITH ME ANYWAY
I had to stop there because it was SO ugh and gross. HOWEVER – I honour and see and am grateful for the me who felt she needed to choose into these beliefs. ALL of my choices ALWAYS serve me. What else would you rather believe?!
And from that place I can say –
Thank you to the me who felt this, chose this, believed this.
And NO thank you, these beliefs are no longer needed.
And then I wrote –
Of course I have been actively releasing this shit for some time now, this was another layer and yucky as it was I am glad to let it up and OUT.
Question >>> what do YOU need to let go of, or forgive yoursel for, which is currently clogging up space where your dream life could be being created?
I then went on to the next journal exercise Crystal gave me –
“Why would it be SO normal for me to be in a relationship now with an INCREDIBLE man?”
I do the work.
I am an amazing, attractive, fun and funny, smart, driven, passionate, purposeful and incredible woman.
I want to love and respect and honour my man, and let him lead.
I AM in my Queen energy now, and I step more and more into it each day, so it’s just a fit that my King will now appear.
I am open to learning and growth continually, and to seeing or being shown what I don’t see about myself.
I am worthy.
I am available and open and ready!
It is available.
It just makes damn sense!
I have FULLY committed.
I have decided.
I am doing the work.
I won’t and don’t back down!
It’s the logical outcome.
EVERYTHING I decide always becomes real.
And this is what it comes down to, all of it, always, isn’t it?
What you decide and REFUSE to back down from becomes real.
YES, you can continue to believe that in business AND life nobody can match you or keep up … you’ll always be too much … you grow too fast.
MOSTLY, this is true!
This is why you WILL and likely already have lose/lost most people!
They SHOULD go.
You are NOT for everyone.
FEW are called to live like us.
Fewer still heed the call.
Fewer again then ACTION it.
We are not like the others.
We are not even like the other entrepreneurs, or artists.
We ARE the 1% within the 1% within the 1%, and AS such?
We do not back down.
We do not sway from our goals or desires.
We do NOT pull away from our power either, not even when fear is at its greatest.
YOU KNOW THIS YOU ARE IT NOW FUCKING ACT ALL OF IT!
And here is what else:
As this person.
SO driven person.
No you will not be alone when you go all the way up.
But if you don’t? Sure, you’ll be surrounded with people. Just never the right ones.
And THAT is something to be damn scared about.
Don’t forget – !
Life is Now. Press Play.
I kinda sorta did something REALLY not ideal! I made a mistake 😞
I then found about that mistake a day or so ago, when one of my amazing clients let me know!
I then fixed it of course, but since then something has been nigglin’ away at me telling me that maybe the mistake was a SIGN and a DIRECTION and I shoulda fixed it the other way!!
What am I talking about? My Easter Extravaganza Instant Manifestation Bundle, which is supposed to close TODAY in just a few hours, and contains 4 of my BEST money and manifestation courses, over 85% off!
As we do, we threw this thing together last minute like usual (aka KAT style) – and somehow managed to put THE WRONG PRICE on the sales page!!! ♀️
– Correct price on order form, when you actually click the buttons.
– Incorrect price on sales page. Doh.
The one on the SALES page was lower, about 25-30% lower than the already reduced 85% off! I think what happened is we copy and pasted off an old previous bundle sales page and so the old price just carried over.
Anyway, a few people pointed it out and obviously we honoured the mistaken lower price while fixing the page for future peeps.
BUTTT … I just felt ugh about it, y’know? Even though the lower price was a mistake! And even though the actual price was literally already 85% off for this offer!
It wouldn’t stop bugging me.
So, long story short, I’m changing it!
My Easter Extravaganza Bundle is now over NINETY PERCENT reduced … for anyone who already bought and paid full we will honour the lower price for you as well of course (watch out for an email later today!) and for everyone who has NOT yet, the price has now been adjusted on the sales page, DOWN!
And, because of the muck around and confusion, I’m extending my bundle sale for one more day into Easter Tuesday 🐣
Jump on now and grab four of my best Money and Manifestation courses now at 90% off, next 24 hours ONLY!!! 💥
Literally just as I finished writing this my brother walked in to my room with my (fixed!) phone. OF COURSE. Everything always works out in my favour. Just like I told ya. And just in time to snap a quick pic for this blog.
Get it! One more day! Lessssgooooo, now 90% off! https://thekatrinaruthshow.com/katrina-ruths-easter-bundle/ —> this price is CRAZY! Extra crazy!!
I wrote half of that with my eyes closed while having makeup done. #ninjaAF