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Success Mindset

ANXIETY IN THE SHADOWS

I walk back home slowly from the gym, annoyed that I’m still not feeling connected to my body, despite going deep, sweating, flowing, NEARLY but not quite. Getting my workout on but not my groove.

Perhaps if I walk slower, listen to something which seeps in to my pores, I’ll get rid of this feeling, this niggle, this UPSET vibe which I don’t have any reason for but yet still can’t shake.

I get back to my villa, and all of a sudden I have to hurry hurry HURRY past where all the staff are hanging out. It’s always been like this.

When it comes.
Suddenly!
And the panic is in my eyes, do NOT come near me. And definitely don’t touch me. Don’t LOOK at me. I need to be –
Completely
Inside me

My Beats are on, surely they’ll know not to talk to me. Head down head down head down, don’t make eye contact. Don’t talk to me. Please! Please don’t call out.

I realise my breath is coming a little short and I URGENTLY need to get the fuck away from everybody. I’ll put the do not disturb sign on. Take my phone off the hook. I only have 30 minutes to shower and get ready and go out again, but that’s okay. That’s enough time to lay back and remind myself how to BREATHE again, isn’t it?

And I realise –

Oh, wow. I know this feeling. I remember this feeling. How have I forgotten this feeling?!

The cornered animal energy –
The get AWAY from me vibe –
The anxious need to be completely alone, and RELEASE, because if I don’t I might imPLODE, if I don’t if I don’t if I don’t, it’s just TOO MUCH AND I CAN’T TAKE IT.

Anxiety has been part of my shadows – 
For longer than I can remember – 
It bares its teeth at me – 
Sometimes less and sometimes more – 
Sometimes to where I become immobile, frozen, unable to breathe OR move, and I need I need I need – SOMETHING.
Anything.
Help.
Please help …

Other times – mostly, now, if it comes up at all – to where I can easily shake it off. A workout. Some journaling. A massage. Music. Usually, this is where it’s at, at this point in my life. I live my life in such alignment that it’s difficult for anxiety to get a hold in the way it used to DAILY –

All through the day –

Even though I could function and smile and ‘do’ and ‘be’ –

Not really.

My all day every day was a matter of ‘make it through just one more minute, just one more, one more, till you can get away, and, well –

do.
that thing you do.
to manage.
to cope.
to NOT completely go insane’

Today, IT was not so easy to shake.

It was rising up STRONG.

Gotta get inside get inside get inside get inside PLEASE –

As I opened the door, almost THROWING the ‘do not disturb’ sign on to it in my haste, oh YES –

How did I not identify THIS feeling? This URGENT need, the quick quick quick of doing things, quick quick quick before somebody stops me, quick quick quick, unwrap it, get it IN me, so I can breathe again.

For years.

For a decade.

For more than that, actually.

This was the only way I managed to cope.

To keep going.

To keep my head above water.

I could function
Through the day
Because at night
(mainly)
I knew I could get away

And while today I was not HAPPY to feel that feeling rise up, I do not ENJOY the clench of the demon of anxiety around my throat, and hell YES I want I need I MUST get rid of it –

And so I do … somewhat … mostly … now, writing this, perhaps, the final stage … I also notice, in that split second before I SLAM the door behind me and near collapse against it, I made it – !

I notice.

How much has shifted.

How proud I am.

That I no longer HEAL in a way that also SABOTAGES.

That the way I now release –

Also ELEVATES.

And I want to tell you –

I know of the things you do.
When you’re alone.
When the doors are closed.
When nobody is there.
When you can’t be found out.
To release.
To cope.
To BREATHE.

And,

This is not a willpower or discipline issue, that you somehow can’t STOP.

This is survival.
This is NEEDED.
However –

If you desire to release it?

Ask –

What do I need, actually?

What is it my soul NEEDS?

Perhaps, as it was for me, back then, it’s a remake of your entire fucking LIFE.

BETTER YOU ACCEPT THAT THAN JUST KEEP ON GOING LIKE THIS THEN, HMMM?

Or perhaps –

It’s just space.
For more art.
Deeper alignment.
And that before you begin, the next thing designated for today, you once again –
Ignore the outside world.
Go within.
And do.
The thing that makes you you.

Thank you for reading,
What makes me me.

I love you.

Remember –

Life is Now. Press Play! 

Kat x

PS.

I’m excited to announce my Flow-Led Millionaire Private Client Mastermind Days are back, happening this August (PM me for full deets!) 

Warning! This Mastermind will require you to get TF over your hang-ups around:

* Automated income

* Being seen more, and more boldly

* Adding layers upon layers upon layers of more SELLING

* Ruthless repurposing and re-selling

* Structure, systems, process

* Building a cash machine which pays you on repeat regardless of whether YOU are grinding your fingers to the bone to get it working!

Requirements:

You have an existing business which makes money, delivers a fabulous product or service (or multiple of!) which helps people, you know who you are and who you’re here to serve (while always welcoming deeper clarity!), and you have a proven track record for getting results to those people … even if it’s on a scale, so far, which, frankly, you consider outrageous. Since you know you’re here to do insanely big work in the world!

Oh, speaking of which – you know you’re here to do insanely big work in the world! And you’re ready to put the wheels on that NOW, and see your revenue – your growth of soulmate audience – your soul-led result-gettin’ systems – and all in all your own badassery – explode, stat!

You’re not afraid of doing the damn work (duh),

but you also know that there’s a simpler way, a more flow way, a more YOU way.

And you’re ready to get down to the nitty gritty of that now, and then roll it out like the take no prisoners mofo you are.

All with me – secret counsel to the worlds most elite game-changers, leaders, and revolutionaries – supporting you to know exactly what to do,

and exactly how to do it,

so you make MORE money,

reach MORE (of the right people),

the YOU way,

having more fun and flow than you ever dreamed possible,

and finally knowing you’re all in on you,

Now!

What you get out of this time together is simple:

* Identified opportunities for money-makin’ – minimum 3, up to 10+ (this is normal in these conversations with me)

* Specific to you simple soulmate audience growth strategy, which you can roll out right away, and will often involve only ‘tweaks’ rather than having to DO anything dramatically extra

* Confidence and inner tools as well as practical steps for improving / adding to / setting up (depending where you’re at) your automated income / funnels 

* Personalised (to your personality / style / lifestyle / skillset) action plan for implementing

* Tweaks you can add in right away to increase sales on existing processes

* Daily / weekly ‘hustle flow plan’ individualised to you

All in all here’s what it comes down to:

>>> You will walk out with a complete action plan tailored to your business, very detailed and also very SIMPLE, with also a complete understanding of what you need to do and HOW to do it, to take you to the next major income level, and beyond.

This will include your next three offers (MINIMUM), up-sells, or funnel ad-ins, FULLY CREATED IN THE TIME TOGETHER!

Plus:

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I love doing this INTENSIVE deep dive work where we pull everything apart all at once, and then nail down the EXACT action steps for each person to take to get more paying customers and clients, who are soul-aligned, coming in NOW, who are also buying more things, because you’ve got all your damn shit in place!

This immersive day together is limited to 5-7 people per event. 

If this is speaking to you PM me here to apply / for more info!