BURN IT TO THE GROUND, AND YOUR OLD SELF WITH IT
It’s a time for releasing and new growth, have you noticed?
The old is calling to be washed away, stripped back, BURNED from your very being and soul, if need be, and a new and fresh you, unedited, untested, not yet adapted to THIS world, is ready to come forward.
If you’re feeling that pull … that niggle inside of you to DESTROY something, to completely wipe the slate clean and start anew, or to walk away, then pay attention:
That is not sabotage.
That is your higher self giving you the heads up on what needs to BE up.
And let’s not forget your higher self is a BADASS, so if she’s givin’ you a lowdown you best be LISTENING!
When you know it’s REALLY a time for change and calling in the new is when you not only feel that DISCONTENT with many of the things you’re doing, but also you have some kind of physical manifestation bring you, typically quite literally, to your knees.
A lot of people have been experiencing this the past week or so, and there IS a reason for it.
It’s a time for change.
It’s a time for shedding.
It’s a time for a new season.
And you can’t SOW THE NEW without first burning back the remainder of the old, which still lingers on the field.
For me it’s been a fairly extreme fever, off and on since Friday night.
My FIRST thoughts were to investigate the underlying reasons for fever, chills, aches. I knew that I created and chose this. I knew there was learning to be had. I dug in. I was open to shifting. I did shift. Yay me, now back to LIFE!
And then?
Motherfucker just kept coming back.
Sometime last night, while battling sleep beasties and drenching through every possible sheet and pillow in sight, I started to surrender, and to answer the infuriatingly demanding questions my higher self was asking of me.
But still, when I woke, finally, and stumbled bleary eyed and looking rather hungover downstairs to where my sister and her family were, staying in my home right now, my first thought was:
“Am I fixed now? Can I go to doing all my things?!”
I came downstairs.
Ordered my coffee.
Did NOT fucking pick up my journal (quelle horreur!)
And instead just sat.
And I noticed –
These last few days of being thrashed body mind and soul by fever, chills, aches, bizarre extra menstrual bleeding … that as well as it being just INCONVENIENT, I’ve also felt worried about what people would think about me being sick.
Yes, I’ve been curious – fascinated even – about the underlying stuff and why I needed to choose this. But at the same time my perception has been that THIS IS ME EXHIBITING WEAKNESS.
A crack in the badassery!
Somebody alert the Internet police SHE MIGHT NOT BE ALLOWED TO STAY ATOP THAT SELF-APPOINTED THRONE.
Well, too bad! I put myself there and I’m the one who gets to choose to stay or no.
Hehe.
Anyway –
I imagined my brand new Rich Hot Empire clients, or my members in my groups, where I’ve had to cancel some live trainings, thinking “what the fuck is with Kat? She seems to do this total meltdown thing every 6 weeks lately!”
Well, I don’t know if other people have noticed that about me. But since July last year, when I ended up bed-bound and unable to talk for 10 days in Beverly Hills, I’ve had periods of INTENSE energy shifting every 6-8 weeks, and I know that this is just the current manifestation of that.
Me, who prides herself on ALWAYS being ‘on’ and in fantastic fucking health! No, I know I don’t have to WORK every day, that’s not remotely what I mean by ‘on’. I am a self-care QUEEN. But I get to feel amazing, okay? Always! Even if not, then it’s just emotions, not being STRANDED ON THE COUCH FOR DAYS.
At least I tend to astral travel some of that time, each time it happens 
So that’s something!
But yeah. I’ve definitely felt about all of THIS, like –
“What the fuck? Where am I not taking care of myself properly, that every 6 weeks I seem to find myself totally grounded and unable to do anything?! WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME; WHY AM I CHOOSING THIS? My business is fully fucking aligned, okay! Go away you mystic energy Gods!”
(It ain’t about business, for me. Just on a side note)
As I sat here just now, staring at passers-by like a zombie with 4 days worth of sweat-infused hair piled atop her head, it suddenly just occured to me:
What if being completely THROWN TO THE GROUND didn’t mean something was wrong with me? What if that was part of the normal human experience, to go through periods of upgrades and immersion, and total hibernation. Which of course it IS. Historically and naturally.
What if I’m just super fucking hyper intelligent and vulnerable or open enough to allow this sort of total shutdown in order to upgrade and renew the system?
Yes!
I’m going with that!
For me and for ALL of us experiencing these shifts!
YAY US. We should have martinis and celebrate. When we can manage to move our human forms again …
And doesn’t it just make TOTAL sense? We get so used to PRESSING ON, and continually adding on to what we’ve already created.
Business.
Clients.
Where our money comes from.
The relationships we already have.
Even the type of food we eat.
If something isn’t WORKING for us, or maybe not working anyMORE, or perhaps we finally just acknowledge it never WAS, we assume something is wrong with US, and that we should try harder –
Do more –
Be more, or better.
We become scared of letting go of something we’ve invested so much into already, and made into SO MUCH OF OUR IDENTITY.
But don’t you see?
Your identity is not your SELF.
There is you, the being, “I”.
And then there is the self.
Identity isn’t even either of those things, that’s just like an outfit you put on once upon a time, and maybe it was the best fucking get up ever, but seriously –
Are you STILL carrying around that shit and wearing it over and over again?
It’s gettin’ kind of manky …
And it is NOT who you ARE.
In fact, there is not a single thing in your business OR your life which remotely is part of who you ARE.
I believe that if you’re letting business and life be easy, then it is an EXTENSION of your true self, but it’s still not your self.
You could walk away from any of it.
Or all of it.
And still be you.
And if you’re feeling that pull, that niggle, that calling, that COMMAND, and / or your physical or some other aspect of your SELF is starting to revolt like an angry and hungry peasant, well –
Might be time to press PAUSE, and pay attention.
Where are you holding on, out of fear?
Where are you telling yourself a story, that how it’s always BEEN is how it must continue to be?
Where are you TERRIFIED to own or speak your truth?
And where are you so desperately scared that if you state what you actually desire and require, life will throw you back down and prove you not worthy, and so –
You don’t even ask.
I want you to know:
You were born fucking worthy.
You were also born knowing the answers to EVERYTHING, for every step of the journey.
The ONLY God damn blueprint you need to be following is the one inside.
But, for that to work, and for you to have it all, you DO GOTTA LISTEN.
And then, if it’s what’s being called for?
BURN IT ALL THE FUCKING GROUND BABY.
And let’s see you as you are.
Just you.
CLAIMING what you actually fucking know is of COURSE available to you, if only –
You’d ask.
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