SELF-PUNISHMENT IS NEVER THE ANSWER

One of the things which you’ll find to be undeniably true, and more and more difficult to ignore, as you go about your journey, is the fact that the only reason to do the things?

Is ’cause you wanna do the things.

In your earlier years of pursuing success, when you’re entrepreneurially or purposeful life young and green, you’ll diligently set out to do all the things, or at least as very many things as you can, because you believe that the more you DO, the more you GET or BECOME, or the more likely you are to be validated or approved of.

This belief system will cause you to live most days in fear and panic and overwhelm; the staple emotions of a wannabe who is tryna be.

No matter how hard you push and race and run, you’ll bemoan the fact that you still didn’t do enough.

And just when you think you’re making headway, you’ll see a whole bunch of stuff that somebody else is doing which YOU should no doubt be doing.

You will become so used to the idea that ALWAYS MORE ACTION is better, that you’ll ignore and eventually no longer even hear your bodies signals for rest, or rejuvenation, or tuning in, or walking away.

As a result of THIS, you’ll invest countless hours, countless units of energy and emotion, and God knows how much money into the endless quest to BE enough, DO enough, move FORWARD enough so that you can be safe.

It will become a WAY OF LIFE to do things your soul is crying or even screaming against, so committed are you to the idea that SUCCESS COMES FROM PUSHING ONWARD, ALWAYS, FASTER, NO MATTER WHAT, JUST.KEEP.GOING.

Well, here’s the thing –

There are many times when success DOES require you to PUSH, to move onward, always, to just.keep.going, and indeed there IS always something additional to do, there will always BE the opportunity to grow more, become more, drop in to that next level, and it will NEVER end.

But self-punishment?

Pushing for the sake of pushing?

Doing more because of some mis-guided idea that it must surely LEAD to more of what is aligned and true?

Yeah …. NAH.

Here is the truth about the push. The hustle. The grind. And showing the fuck up with purpose, in order to ALWAYS get the results you want.

And if the push isn’t based on what your soul is GUIDING you to do, then you’re almost literally pushing shit up a hill just for the fun of it.

Which really does beg the question …

IS it fucking fun?? Or, is it just that you continue to beat your head against the wall, desperation building, relentlessly committed to the path of the purposeLESS push?

Here is what I know for sure, if you’re on THAT path:

There’s a feeling.

A slow and sinking feeling.

A feeling you CAN’T IGNORE.

Deep inside.

Where you REALLY can’t help but wonder if it ACTUALLY FUCKING HAS TO BE THIS WAY.

Wanna know the truth?

You damn straight KNOW it doesn’t have to be this way!!!

And even though you’ve done a really not so terrible job of COMPLETELY FUCKING IGNORING YOUR SOUL for so damn long, it IS still speaking to you.

Pulling at you.

And not-so-quietly kicking your ass from the inside out.

Can I tell you something??

I used to be like that.

I used to think it had to BE like that.

I LIVED like that, I pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed all day and every day no matter WHAT. I’m not going to tell you it was all bad, and also, funnily enough, I don’t regret it.

I learned discipline, something most entrepreneurs could stand to learn a thing or two about!

I learned tenacity, and resilience, and to get back up no matter HOW many times I was on the floor.

I also had a DAMN fun time, much of the time. I THRIVE on adrenaline, and the push will ALWAYS be part of who I am.

But, there was so much fear.

There were so many times where the action I was taking was OUT of fear.

If I don’t do that extra workout, I might somehow gain 10 pounds overnight!
If I don’t do video I’ll fall behind as an entrepreneur!
If I don’t get on the computer instead of play with my baby, I’ll fall behind!

I might have taken a TON of purposeful action towards my aligned goals, but I also beat myself up with a ton of unnecessary EXTRA shit. And more relevantly, I didn’t stop to try and differentiate. There were times when to push so damn hard WAS flow. Of course! And there still are. Of course! Like being in a damn good workout and turning the dial UP.

But what I didn’t know back then, was that the times when my soul was telling me NO, you don’t need to do that, that’s actually not necessary, or maybe what your soul NEEDS is to turn away, to turn within –

I refused to listen.

I ASSUMED that doing less or being in stillness or pause was ALWAYS a bad idea.

It seems so funny, when I think of it now.

Now, I push a lot.
I sweat my ass off.
I show up.
I BURN and GRIND baby.
I DO THE THINGS.

But, it is ONLY from flow.

I push when it’s a moment or season for pushing.

And I rest or rejuvenate or disappear altogether when that’s what I’m being called to do.

I might do 3 workouts in a day one day –
4 livestreams, and write 10,000 words, plus speak to a ton of clients, be on an interview, answer EVERY damn message and actively sell a bunch of shit –

Then spend the entire next day napping, having long massage sessions, drinking or dining with friends, meandering through Facebook like it’s just a social thing, etc.

I DO WHAT I WANT.

I DO WHAT MY SOUL REQUIRES.

I LISTEN IN, AND I ACT ACCORDINGLY.

In EVERY area this is true.

How I train, to how I eat, to how I message, to how I preach and teach in my paid programs, to how I mentor even my highest level clients, to how I parent, or even where I choose to travel.

100% of decisions come from ‘what is aligned?’, ‘what does my soul desire?’, ‘what do I know is RIGHT?’

Period, the end.

It’s been SO long since I did something, in business, fitness OR life, because I thought I needed to do it to get a result.

And since that time?

Is when business, fitness, life has become SO damn easy.

I always have the outcomes I want.
Because I decide and choose them.
And I TRUST that I always know the action to take or to NOT take, and that it works when I do it this way.

These are the things I thought about for you –

As I felt the BURN –

And climbed the HIGHEST heights –

In Soul Cycle, with my badass self-made millionaire client and friend Amanda Frances by my side.

Sunday morning PUSH after a big night out at Nobu Malibu the night before, of COURSE!

Because we wanted to.
Because we felt like it.
Because it was fucking ALIGNED.
And because we can – always – do what we want.

And then?

Well, obviously – !

We went home and ran a training while drinking million dollar health smoothies, and chased it with a rooftop massage and some big ass chocolate cookies.

AS IT SHOULD BE.

I want you to know this –

REALLY know and hear this –

In fact it’s the only way …