HOW TO KILL THE FEAR-BODY WHICH IS RULING YOU, AND RETURN TO SOURCE

Do you remember?

Do you remember, back before you learned it wasn’t safe, and you couldn’t, and you weren’t allowed, and you shouldn’t, what it was like to feel completely free, completely certain, and that infinite possibility, was yours?

Do you remember when you always made your choices from soul, when there was not even a question or a conversation about whether what you felt inside of you was real, when you just knew that you KNEW what you knew, and of course it was going to be …

When you felt safe to be loved, safe IN love, that love itself WAS inherently safe, and that you were safe, accepted, and wanted, as you …

When your wildest dreams, whilst daunting and thrilling and scary all at the same time were also just things you knew not only COULD happen –

But surely would?

And of course … why not … what other option could there BE, nobody had taught you to question, or told you that you should, and the fear …

The fear, I suppose, had not yet begun to rule you.

Take over you.

And maybe,

Even become you.

I know you remember.

And then – !

Do you remember?

Do you remember when you were first thrown down, or back, heavily against the wall or violently onto the floor, and the shock, the shock, the SHOCK of it, you couldn’t breathe, you were gasping, you were frozen, instantly longing to be numb, but not yet knowing how …

You didn’t have a pattern for this …

Nobody told you about it …

It never occurred to you that this could happen, or possibly would …

You weren’t equipped …

Survival instincts were rusty …

And you came up shaky, bloody, bruised, not quite broken, but all of a sudden, for the first time, the first time, the first time and the last of the innocent time –

Cautious.

Wary.

And with a knowing unlocked inside of you of things which make you cry, when you think about how you were once that little girl who didn’t know of such things, who shouldn’t know of such things, and who now, will always know of these things …

Do you remember that?

I know you do.

And do you remember how, from that day forward, everything changed.

You were still the same one with the same crazy dreams and the same deep deep need to unleash her soul, and the same true CERTAINTY that everything inside of you was real, available, of course – !

It was just –

Hmmm …

WAS it, was it really?

COULD you, could you really?

And SHOULD you, should you really? Put yourself out there like that, speak up like that, be opinionated like that, hmmm, maybe it was best to hold back –

Just a little.

To be careful –

Just in case.

Try not to rock the boat, because, well, you know, it seemed to keep blowing the fuck up, every time you did!

Do you remember that my darling?

How you slowly –

But surely –

Locked the door –

And threw away the key –

To the wild unfettered and untamed you, you never QUESTIONED, any of it, and you became –

A somewhat version
Greyscale
And safe

A little choice from here there, another one over here, just one small retreat or retraction, I’m still being me, no really, I am!

Until one day, inevitably, it had become crystal fucking clear, if not to you then at least to everyone around you and if not to them then CERTAINLY to your higher self, that actually –

There was no you at all, anymore.

There was a shell
A remnant
A whisper
A hint

But mostly, there was a memory,

Of where you left off,

The fear took over,

Became your ruler,

And eventually,

Became you

And now look! You LOOK like you, you SOUND like you, you ACT like you, you SMELL like you, except NO, not really, not any of it! You’ve become a distorted and OH so warped photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy of the real you.

It
is
DISGUSTING
(and sad
oh so sad)

Where once you were free floating and free flying and light-hearted and playful and your soul naturally shone from you, you’re now slow-moving, and rigid, and restrained, and you smile, you smile, you smile, but there’s an emptiness there

A hollowing

A deep sadness

And a longing,

As you can never fully forget the girl you used to be and who still wonders, daily, in the quiet moments –

‘Will you ever let me out again?’

Your every choice and decision and move and even BREATH now,

Coming from fear

I KNOW of this. I lived like this. I WAS of this, it took over me, I LIVED for the fear, I couldn’t tell where the fear left off,

And I began

Or if I had ever existed at all

And here is what I’ve been sent to say to you today,

What I long to tell you today

What I MUST impart to you right now

The FEAR-body which has become YOUR body, which has mingled with your mind and entangled your soul, it may well have power over you right now, but none that YOU did not grant to it

It was yours to give

And it’s yours to TAKE THE FUCK AWAY

You can decide, right now, in this moment, to FLICK that switch, to say ‘no more!’, and to become energetically and emotionally and spiritually unavailable for ANY more of it.

When you do … right here and right now, in this moment you will FEEL as it just drops away from you.

The years and years and years, and the layers and layers and layers, and the HARDENED protective shell –

It can ALL disappear in a heartbeat, when you simply decide –

‘From here on out, I choose to come from soul.
I choose to come from truth.
I choose to REMEMBER.
I choose love.
I choose trust.
I choose to RE-know what I’ve always known.
I CHOOSE ME’

And I wonder …

Will you join me?
Do you dare?
Are you READY?
And is it motherfucking time?!

I think so …

There’s not going to be any better time to leap than right now. It won’t get easier. It will get HARDER, as you become more and more bound by this monster, this demon, this poison, this faulty fucking code, this messed up PROGRAMMING, you’ve allowed into you.

It WILL get harder, but that’s not the reason to leap today, because change is ALWAYS available in an instant.

So, here is what it comes down to then –

Do you WANT to?

You know you have the choice.

You know you have the power.

You KNOW it’s freakin’ time.

And you know you can’t go on like this.

The only question is –

Will you anyway?