I’M GOING TO BE ON A MAJOR NETWORK TV SHOW – AS A KEY STAR!

Yesterday I had to fill out a ‘cast questionnaire’ for a brand new TV show which starts filming next week for one of Australia’s major networks, and on which I am playing a key role for this entire pilot season! Yep … TV star in the waiting here! I’m not allowed to share too much about the show just yet, but for all ya’ll out there who ‘never watch TV’, lemme just tell you:

Between myself, the incredible line-up of badasses and VERY badass celebrities, and the story and intent of this show plus the epic production and dev team and backing behind it … you’re gonna wanna start watching TV. It’s funny, I always knew I’d end up on TV, maybe in the movies too I reckon, but I never pursued it, just said yes somewhere in my soul, and as is ALWAYS the way when we plant in an aligned yes and then just get on with the job of being who we’re meant to be … shit just shows up. #worthremembering

So on the questionnaire, aside from willingness to sign a death waiver and revealing all your deepest fears (fun), one of the questions was around things you’ve personally overcome in life. And this really got me thinking. As I’ve had quite a few big life things occur which I got to grow through, heal through, move through … but probably the biggest thing I’ve worked on and learned my way through in life? Is the continual undercurrent of not being good enough, and not having done enough.

Where this has MOST effected me, and probably a lot of successful peeps out there can relate, is around permission to enjoy and really be with who I am, and what I’ve created.

I would say I spent years, in my business but also in areas of my personal life, always looking for what else I should be doing. What more I should be doing. What I couldn’t put my finger on. Beating myself up for being behind. Frustrated at not having appointed myself higher, or moved forward with ‘really cool’ things, whilst simultaneously draining the every loving fuck outta myself by questioning who I think I am to do said ‘really cool’ things, and telling myself I’m not ready. Drained also by continually thinking about what I should do that will finally ‘get’ me someplace, or mean I’ve done enough or am enough … when the truth is I don’t fucking care deep down about doing ANYTHING for those reasons. I just wanna write and speak and let what’s in me out, and do cool AF creative shit, and as far as what I sell or make money from … all I ever wanted was for it to be a natural follow on of me being IN that creative flow of being me, and knowing that that is enough.

The problem is – when you’re running a pattern of ‘I’m not enough, I haven’t done enough, and maybe I suck completely and am secretly a failure’ then you

can be TOTALLY on track with what you’re doing, and yet not feel it. You actually think your questioning of everything is valid. And that there is really a problem to figure out!

Truth? That’s exactly how I have felt about myself SOOOOOOO much of the time in this business. Even as I’ve been ‘the’ badass and unapologetic leader who is empowering so many, maybe you, to be all that they are and own THAT epic awesomeness!

The cool thing is … I never feel anything other than FULLY whole and enough when I am in it. In fact, I don’t feel anything about ‘me’. As it’s not about me, and I drop into THAT truth. When I’m writing, speaking, coaching, creating, unleashing … I am the mofo flow and the flow is me. It’s the most incredible feeling in the world. And also where my magic, ability to so powerfully help people, and also the killer success I’ve created here has come from.

Probably why I, and so many like me, pursue this state so much! It really gives us SO much, just from us saying yes to it.

But in the in between bits? Yes. I struggled for years and years, for most fo the time, to feel enough, feel remotely proud of myself, feel like I deserved to think highly of myself, any of it. The secret and silent sadness of the high achiever. Of many high achievers.

As a result of this, I truly did think, again, for years, that I had a problem. I had to figure out more. Know more. Always do something different. Always be better. Be perfect. Prove my right to exist! And I shouldn’t receive with greater ease or flow, or if I did I shouldn’t really relax into permission and contentedness around it, because after all … I HAD NOT DONE ENOUGH AND I WAS NOT BEING ENOUGH.

Bleugh.

Can you relate? I hope I’m not alone here! I know I’m not 😉

The truth is that I crafted myself a long time ago into being this person, and I’ve already been the version of me I MOST deeply wanted to be for absolutely ages!

I was running a story of thinking I wanted or needed something else all the time because my PATTERN was that I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to expect to enjoy, receive, or be present. My underlying STORY told me I wanted or needed something else when in actual fact … I was totally doing what I am meant to do. And I fucking love my life! What I was seeking for years is what I already had. And the missing link was simply not giving myself permission and also CHOICE to just be enough. Be with what is. LET myself enjoy it. And also honour and acknowledge what I have built. Honour and acknowledge that holy shit –

I am enough. I did enough, I do enough. I am where I want to be. Doing what I want to do. With who I wanna do it with and for. The end!

Thing is … when you clear THIS sort of shit within yourself, and truly decide to be done with the perpetual ‘I should be or be doing something else’ … you suddenly realise how EVERYTHING is actually available. Like … REALLY. As in … you can now just choose it. And decide. And then go be the mofo person. Because you said so!

That can be daunting.
Or it can be exciting and freeing.

AND, for you and I, it should just really be – life. Of course. So now just choose!

So now … what if you just chose? What if you just decided that today is the day you start locking in next level choices about who and what you are, and that there are NO conditions to this. That your say so is enough! And that you ALREADY get to stop and breathe in the fact that all you ever had to do?

Was wake up.
Be you.
Repeat.

For some of us that just always meant writing the big time books. Creating the life and world changing courses and products. Having the wildly successful brands. Making a fuckload of money. Being a TV star. Whatever!

It is what it is.

And that’s all it ever needed you to know.

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