By using thekatrinaruthshow.com, you consent to our use of cookies.

Live Your Passion

I’m hurt, messy, raw. Here is how I deal.

Two times in the past 24 hours, heck, less then, men have made me cry. Two of the men I care about most, saying things that just feel really really hurtful. Wildly different situations and, in the second one in particular, I for certain was already reacting from feeling pretty fucking precious and fragile after what happened in the first situation, so I’d say for sure I exacerbated that.

But either way, FUCCCCCKKKKKKK I am feeling upset right now. 99.99% about the first situation, the second one just tipped it over the edge, like, are you fucking kidding me? I need you right now and you’re going to be like THAT? Okay.

I feel really hurt, devastated even, shaky and raw and also just ANNOYED.

Yeah, I get that I just wrote ‘men have made me cry’ and at the end of the day my emotions are always and only my own responsibility and nobody can MAKE me do ANYTHING. Personal motherfucking responsibility is real y’all, and whatever is showing up for me is always what I CHOSE, so just choose fucking better, right?

RIGHT.

But at the same time FUCK ME, I really thought I had / was / whatever, and this shit just came out of left field late last night, like a swift uppercut to the face when you’re just chilling on the couch not expecting to suddenly get taken down and then tossed in the tumble dryer for good measure.

I woke up this morning and felt like I’d drunk 4 bottles of wine and then done a freakin’ endurance race in my sleep or something, my eyes were like beady little pin pricks in my head, I’d been up most of the night crying and thrashing around in some kind of hormonal night sweat response to stress (reminiscent of the post-pregnancy sweats, UGH) and then overslept as a result of that, meaning I was late to get the kids to school.

That done, I made my way to the gym because all I could think was give me some IRON THERAPY. Let me get under the weight of the bar and just go into my flow zone and FEEL. As I squatted with some of my best weight and form in recent recollection silent tears streamed down my face and I found myself wondering –

What did I do to create this?

And what do I now get to choose to release it?

I sometimes worry that I’m too good at processing things, moving on, seeing past or beneath it, and almost immediately shifting into ‘oh, well, everything happens FOR me, so obviously this is for my growth and learning right now and how delightful, let’s wait with curiosity and giddy excitement to see what the fabulous lesson is and how I shall now transcend to the next level as the divine human I am’.

In fact I do believe and know all that and am indeed thinking it all, but at the same time –

Spew emoji spew emoji spew emoji. lol.

And I know I’m writing even more messy and raw than usual right now and absofuckingLUTELY using today’s blog as my own therapy (aren’t they all? ), and I’m not gonna try and clean it up or slow it down, so I make no apology for that, but I trust there is something here in my mess for you as well.

Because here’s the thing:

It DOES all happen for a reason.

There IS always a lesson to take, to drop into.

And the next level? Is always just around the corner waiting for you. When you get hurt, when you are thrown, when you feel like life itself has chewed you up and spat you out, maybe ESPECIALLY when you were swimming along happily thinking everything was taken care of and then BAM, it 100% is a GROWTH OPPORTUNITY.

Already as I feel the waves of pain wash over me as they tend to do in these sorts of situations, ebbing and flowing and then rearing up like a motherfucker just when you thought you were good, so that suddenly you’re randomly crying in the veggie aisle, at the same time I notice myself do what I ALWAYS do when its throw down time –

I feel myself tighten up. Lift up internally. My core becomes more molten steel. I was a fucking BEAST in the gym this morning, in a Goddess-babe sorta way 😉. I became more and more unstoppable and unbreakable with every breath, every moment. More ME.

I don’t remotely mean I blocked out feeling, or emotion, or went into some kind of ‘I’m not allowed to be vulnerable or raw’ anti-feminine type state. Not at all. What it felt like, what it feels like right now, as I pour out my cracked open and somewhat shredded heart, is a sort of FRAGILE FUCKING STRENGTH.

Like a willow branch, golden and slender and immensely beautiful and yet at the same time just TRY to fucking break it.

And I think –

Just try and fucking break me.

I don’t mean that any person tried to break me, nobody tried to break or hurt me, that’s just what happened, cliche and bullshit and trite as it sounds.

So yes.

I regroup quickly.

I step outside the situation and become the observer.

I open myself up immediately to what I need to know and understand and do differently, choose differently, have boundaries and standards and rules and expectations around, how I can now choose to BE MORE CLEAR because apparently I wasn’t fucking clear on some things I was putting out energetically.

And at the same time I allow myself to feel.

To melt.

To be a crybaby about it, and then remind myself that HELLO – being vulnerable or emotional or raw or HUMAN is not being a crybaby at all, so enough with the slightly deriding self-talk.

And, what is the point of all this, I don’t know. What is the point of this hurt right now which just seems, quite frankly, WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE in terms of what I thought was actually going on, I DON’T KNOW. It’s infuriating and wrong and SO, well, shocking, to be honest!

Except,

When I say I don’t know.

I do know.

My soul knows.

Why?

Why?

Motherfucking WHY?

Because it is ALWAYS that we get to have our version of it all, a full fuck yes life, on our terms, TOTAL alignment to soul.

And let’s get real here Kat – and for you as well, for wherever this is hitting home for you right now –

If shit is blowing up in your face then a) you created that (you can believe or not believe in THAT, but I wonder how it serves you to choose on opposing belief, and what ability to create a new reality moving forward it affords you) – and b) –

The burning up or down of the things always clears space and lights the way for the truer things.

And in the end, no matter the turmoil or trauma, it’s very very simple:

It is what it is.

And that’s all it is.

Now what’chu gonna do about it?

Remember:

Remember –

Life is Now. Press Play! 

Kat x

PS.

I’m excited to announce my Flow-Led Millionaire Private Client Mastermind Days are back, happening this August (PM me for full deets!) 

Warning! This Mastermind will require you to get TF over your hang-ups around:

* Automated income

* Being seen more, and more boldly

* Adding layers upon layers upon layers of more SELLING

* Ruthless repurposing and re-selling

* Structure, systems, process

* Building a cash machine which pays you on repeat regardless of whether YOU are grinding your fingers to the bone to get it working!

Requirements:

You have an existing business which makes money, delivers a fabulous product or service (or multiple of!) which helps people, you know who you are and who you’re here to serve (while always welcoming deeper clarity!), and you have a proven track record for getting results to those people … even if it’s on a scale, so far, which, frankly, you consider outrageous. Since you know you’re here to do insanely big work in the world!

Oh, speaking of which – you know you’re here to do insanely big work in the world! And you’re ready to put the wheels on that NOW, and see your revenue – your growth of soulmate audience – your soul-led result-gettin’ systems – and all in all your own badassery – explode, stat!

You’re not afraid of doing the damn work (duh),

but you also know that there’s a simpler way, a more flow way, a more YOU way.

And you’re ready to get down to the nitty gritty of that now, and then roll it out like the take no prisoners mofo you are.

All with me – secret counsel to the worlds most elite game-changers, leaders, and revolutionaries – supporting you to know exactly what to do,

and exactly how to do it,

so you make MORE money,

reach MORE (of the right people),

the YOU way,

having more fun and flow than you ever dreamed possible,

and finally knowing you’re all in on you,

Now!

What you get out of this time together is simple:

* Identified opportunities for money-makin’ – minimum 3, up to 10+ (this is normal in these conversations with me)

* Specific to you simple soulmate audience growth strategy, which you can roll out right away, and will often involve only ‘tweaks’ rather than having to DO anything dramatically extra

* Confidence and inner tools as well as practical steps for improving / adding to / setting up (depending where you’re at) your automated income / funnels 

* Personalised (to your personality / style / lifestyle / skillset) action plan for implementing

* Tweaks you can add in right away to increase sales on existing processes

* Daily / weekly ‘hustle flow plan’ individualised to you

All in all here’s what it comes down to:

>>> You will walk out with a complete action plan tailored to your business, very detailed and also very SIMPLE, with also a complete understanding of what you need to do and HOW to do it, to take you to the next major income level, and beyond.

This will include your next three offers (MINIMUM), up-sells, or funnel ad-ins, FULLY CREATED IN THE TIME TOGETHER!

Plus:

1:1 follow on support to help you implement and follow through.

I love doing this INTENSIVE deep dive work where we pull everything apart all at once, and then nail down the EXACT action steps for each person to take to get more paying customers and clients, who are soul-aligned, coming in NOW, who are also buying more things, because you’ve got all your damn shit in place!

This immersive day together is limited to 5-7 people per event. 

If this is speaking to you PM me here to apply / for more info!