IF YOU WANT TO BE LOVED, ACCEPTED, ABUNDANT, FLOWING, AND FREE: FIND THOSE THINGS FIRST IN YOU
The greatest shift or transformative breakthrough I’ve learned in the past year – and perhaps one thousand times before that, now I think about it! – is that whatever I LONG for, desire, so wish I could have, must simply be found within.
If I find it within me –
(And learn how to keep it, embody it, BECOME it)
I receive it from outside of me.
I feel as though I’ve really learned this, really GOT it, really become ONE with it, in the past year, but the truth is I learned this lesson long ago, when I finally broke free of my rollercoaster money situation.
Perhaps you can relate, to that thing which so many entrepreneurs GET to learn to GROW through, which we shall call Combining Your Adrenalin Junkie Needs with Your Scarcity and Lack Mentality and Finding Yourself In Constant Money Fear.
Or, you know:
You make some money –
And you CRASH it the fuck back down again, more than likely without even having a DOLLAR left over for YOU!
I did this for years with money. I remember even having a $72,000 month; this was YEARS back; I thought FINALLY I’m breaking THROUGH, I’m really on my WAY!
And then within what seemed like an embarrassing and really just ASTONISHINGLY short period of time (where did it GO?), there was nothing left to show for it.
Have you ever felt that way? Do you ever feel as though even when you DO manage to make some money and the noose loosens just a little that it just slips through your FINGERS, and you truly CAN’T even logically account for it?
I played that game for years, before I learned what I really needed to know. And I’m fucking GRATEFUL I got to learn the lesson so many times, until I eventually got done with learning it and was able to PROPERLY move on, and get to totttttalllllll abundant money flow with ease, which is where I hang out now 🙂
But yeah – learn the same fucking lesson on repeat I most certainly DID. I often say to clients, who notice they endure the same repeat ‘struggles’, with money, or really with anything – stop worrying about how to FIX it, and start to get really fixated with why it is you’re choosing to NEED to keep on learning the same lessons over and over!
Thank you for the lesson.
THANK you for the growth opportunity!
And thank you VERY much to SELF when you’re finally ready to move on from it, because you actually learned what you really needed to KNOW.
And here is what that is. It’s true with money, it’s true with love, it’s true with feeling taken care of, or happy, or that life is fun, or that you’re fulfilled, or accepted, or that you enjoy your body, it’s true with ALL of it!
The problem, and why I kept finding myself bottoming OUT again with money, was not that when the money disappeared I felt broke, scared, not good enough, fearful and anxious, ashamed.
The PROBLEM, and why I GOT to keep on learning the same lesson on repeat, was that whether I had money –
Or whether I didn’t –
I felt broke.
Not good enough.
Fearful and anxious.
When the money came IN, I felt relieved and that maybe FINALLY I WAS GOING TO BE GOOD ENOUGH, safe, etc, but really?
The fear still gripped me.
My MINDSET was one of massive and deep lack.
And so the cycle repeated itself, because no matter that I could manage to scrap my way to some dollars now and then, I simply kept RECEIVING a direct reflection of what I was BEING.
As tough as it felt at the time to claw my MINDSET out of the gutter and into TRUE abundance and flow and self worth and feeling safe, when the ‘I thought I needed’ money results weren’t there yet, it was the ONLY WAY I COULD EVER get to where of COURSE I received money on repeat with ease.
Of course I did – and do – because I became a person who feels abundant, wealthy, in flow, in ease, and also in EXPECTATION, of continued ease and money flow.
But I had to BECOME that just all by myself –
Inside of me.
With no EVIDENCE to back it up, or make it seem real.
I looked to the future and I KNEW what would be, what I CHOSE, and I started to act –
And also think and FEEL –
As though it was already done.
So over the past year, when I look back, I feel as though, WOW – I really have learned that if I want LOVE and ACCEPTANCE and to be FULFILLED and happy (all things I started to look for from a man, when I left my marriage and began dating), I must first give those things to ME.
It’s funny how I’ve been walking around feeling so awestruck at this revelation, when it’s exactly the same thing I went through years back with my money.
I guess I just GOT to learn the lessons again, in a new way! 🙂
When I look back to how I was acting with, and feeling inside of me about, men, earlier this year, I feel quite shocked – and a little amused – to see just how much in LACK and NEEDINESS and please VALIDATE me I was.
I would feel ‘good enough’ if I got attention.
And unworthy or scared if I didn’t.
But the truth was, of course, that I felt unworthy and scared and lacking love and acceptance, etc, the WHOLE time.
So even though sure, I managed to ‘get’ some of those things on occasion … it never lasted. How could it, when who I was BEING was creating a reflection of lack?
NOW, what I notice is so.fucking.cool.
Even when I really really like or want somebody, even when I feel like that would be amazing and I should GET to have that connection, I have zero attachment or expectation around it.
Doesn’t mean I don’t want it!
Doesn’t mean I don’t feel there’s an element of destiny, or ‘meant to be’.
But do I NEED it, do I have to ‘make it happen’? Hell no. Because I finally LEARNED WHAT I WAS GETTING TO LEARN, and I gave my SELF love.
Which means that when I connect with a man I can EASILY receive those things … I expect to receive them in a general sense … because duh, of COURSE I’m going to receive what’s already in me … but I have no attachment to needing them from any one particular person, or situation.
I gave myself love, so I know love will keep on showing up. IT CAN’T NOT.
This truth is this is PRECISELY why I never set specific goals of how my money ‘has to’ show up. I might set a numbers goal for a launch if the number comes to me, but not because I think I need to hit that to make the money.
It simply can’t not!
Just like, since I started honouring and loving and accepting myself, I automatically receive love, acceptance, being taken care of, being treated like a Queen, etc, on repeat, from men. Not just romantically! Generally! Which is, well… really very nice.
But yes –
Why would I need to ever worry about where that would come from, or what a particular situation means, when I am already IN love. It’s a law just as true as gravity that because I am IN love, love (etc!) will keep flowing to me.
IT SIMPLY CAN’T NOT!
And here is the beautiful thing, as if all of that weren’t already amazing enough.
When you’re totally CERTAIN of your ‘of course’ ability to receive love, abundance, acceptance, flow, etc, you CAN then decide, as far as the things you get to do or people you get to engage with, what feels PERFECT.
Meaning: of course I do only the things I love to do to make money, but I DON’T do them because they make me money, and I also don’t feel like I have to worry about HOW they make me money. I do them because I can’t not. And I receive money because I let myself.
With love, of COURSE I get to only spend my time with, or think about, or even assume future plans, with the epic people I am most drawn to, but I don’t do that because I NEED anything from them. I do it because I can’t not. And because it’s an ALIGNED FIT, of course I receive the things I already am reflecting from in me.
There are so many lessons we get to learn here, in business, in life, in love, in every aspect of who we are and how we show up, but I can tell you for certain that if you want to FAST track things, then learn this now:
Everything you long for from outside of you.
Is precisely what you need to find first within.
Stop doing all the things.
And get really fucking focused on just being the person who would already – of course! – have them.
Don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.