MAKE IT NON-NEGOTIABLE
Man! I just had the somewhat infuriating experience of having to send back my meal 5x in total before it came out right, or before I got everything I’d actually asked for on the plate. By the time all the different bits and pieces DID come out, the eggs and bacon were completely cold and I suspect that my steak and broccoli (which had appeared basically when they felt like it, at random intervals even though I ordered it as one meal) were just WASHED of the evil garlic I’d send ’em back for turning up with.
I started to get really narky about it – how fucking hard is it to just cook to order?! And I DID say no condiments … ! I mean, it is Bali … you have to be REALLY fucking clear here … but still!
And then I realised:
Ha. How funny! I already knew that today I am going to write about making the getting of what you want NON-FUCKING-NEGOTIABLE; I had the download for this message in Bikram yoga earlier on, thinking about money, and fast cars, and hot loving, and all that good stuff, and now here I am journaling and receiving the OPPORTUNITY, to learn.
And as I sent back yet ANOTHER piece of my meal, trying not to start showing my annoyance, I found myself writing:
“It’s DONE that I am an excellent receiver, I am great at receiving WHAT I WANT and also great at ASKING for what I want!”
I had to smile … on the one hand I WAS pretty clear, and of course there is a slight language barrier, but could I have been even clearer, more specific, more emphatic?
I could have.
And so I get to be THANKFUL for the opportunity to learn, to grow, to be reminded that hey – !
You do always get what you ask for.
So ask fucking properly!
Eventually I DID apparently manage to ask for and insist upon what I want, and so now here I am eating it, and it occurs to me, also, this:
If you’re serious about getting what you want, you MUST make it non-negotiable.
It’s not comfortable, particularly, to send something back that’s ‘nearly right’, yet not quite. Or so a previous VERSION of me would have thought, because the now version of me, who plays at a certain level and ALWAYS gets what she wants and DECIDES, is perfectly okay with getting to receive the opportunity to learn to be more clear.
And keep on asking till she gets!
I know for me, the reason I ‘have’ more now, is simply I learned to ask more. And also to do so relentlessly, much like a child, although without any temper tantrums USUALLY, until I receive.
Keep showing up.
Keep on asking.
It’s actually not very difficult …
What it really all comes down to is you have to make it NON-NEGOTIABLE. If you allow even the SMALLEST bit of room for ‘something close to’, then that’s what you’ll end up with. At BEST!
And really –
Isn’t it true that EVERY time in your life something truly WAS non-negotiable, and you MEANT it, you freaking GOT it?
EXACTLY AS YOU ASKED FOR.
When I was pregnant, for example, with my first child, I realised it was NON-FUCKING-NEGOTIABLE that I get a ring on my finger and also a better car.
Say what you will about my mindset or choices at the time, but that’s what I decided. I did not WANT to be driving around in a somewhat bomb-y pink Hyundai, and without a ring on my finger, while pregnant. I felt like people would think less of me. I know, I know, all my own shit, but we’re not here to talk about THAT! We’re talking about the fact that it was crystal fucking clear in my mind that I WOULD get to feel how I wanted to feel in my pregnancy, in those areas.
By halfway through the pregnancy I had my freaking diamond AND a black Audi A4.
The engagement was always going to happen anyway … but I definitely manifested the fuck out of it … the car thing though? With the state of my finances and self-employment not doing my case much help, it was kind of a LONG shot.
There was zero room for maybe in my mind.
I simply didn’t entertain another option.
So I drove my ass OUT of the dealership in that car, AS I ALWAYS KNEW I WOULD.
And there are so many other times, where I’ve brought the impossible to life because I decided it HAD to be so. Pulled a rabbit out of a hat! Made magic! But really, it’s actually nothing so mystical at all. All that happened is I decided to USE THE FUCKING POWERS I’VE ALWAYS HAD.
The power of decision.
The power of choice.
The power of I WILL.
The power of it is DONE.
Like the time we left one side of the country to move to the other, with NO FUCKING PLACE TO MOVE TO, and ‘nothing available’ on the coast and I just REFUSED to accept anything less than my dream.
“It’s IMPOSSIBLE!”, shrieked my now former-husband. “We have to just take what we CAN! It’s CHRISTMAS! Nothing is available and you’re trying to hold out for THAT?”
I dug my heels in.
I knew my dream.
It WAS a done deal.’
And so it appeared, of COURSE.
My beautiful full ocean-front apartment, light and white and bright and spacious and UNDER budget. Just like I decided. Just like I made NON-FUCKING NEGOTIABLE.
I’m sure you can think of your own examples, as well, can’t you? Of times when for whatever reason you realised something HAD to happen.
I’ve made so many commitments to myself and others over the years with NO FUCKING CLUE HOW, and even looking back I STILL don’t know how so all I can SAY is – magic. Decision. Of course.
Like saying yes to a half million dollar mentoring agreement –
Like changing my entire body and getting shredded in 3 days –
Like becoming a motherfucking leader and ‘famous’ online –
Like (and best of all!) being able to unleash create my soul work and live from purpose; share my message –
Like so many trips –
So many experiences –
And even relationships!
Actually even my current car, which was 135k, they said no to me on, despite my super high income, ’cause of being self-employed. They tried to downsell me!
Wasn’t gonna happen.
Possible, impossible, whatever. It’s all just what’s in your head.
Which means … and this should be obvious but I know we sometimes need to be reminded of what we already know … that anything we are now TRYING to attain is ONLY, and also EASILY, going to happen when we make it a must.
That money you want, that car you want, the dream home, the dream man or woman, the business and life of ease and flow and YES, it’s ALL just a decision.
Make it non-negotiable.
And stop wasting your time trying to make it HAPPEN. It will happen the very SECOND you decide it in your mind, and you know you actually HAVE decided when you instantly are able to release the need to worry about how.
A true decision means you INSTANTLY don’t GIVE a fuck about how ’cause you ACTUALLY freaking decided and if THAT is true (that you don’t care how when you mean it on a decision) then you know what that means?
So stop pretending there is a how, there is no fucking how, fuck the fucking how!
What do you actually WANT, beautiful?
What do you LONG for?
And what are you legitimately COMMITTED to, of all of that?
Ain’t no point saying hell yes –
Or ‘yes please’ –
Unless you DAMN well mean it.
So you might as well just be honest with yourself right here and NOW –
And drop EVERYTHING you’re not that level of committed to.
I mean, really – wouldn’t life just be so much easier and more flow-based and fun if you ONLY gave your energy and focus and emotion to the stuff you want badly enough to insist on getting it?
The answer is yes.
Yes it WOULD be!
Actually, I can say – yes it IS!
So here is what I suggest:
Make a list.
Check it twice.
Delete EVERYTHING off the fucking list that is not absolutely DONE and NON-NEGOTIABLE.
And then keep on doing your actual fucking thing that you’re meant to be doing to be you.
That’s all …
Don’t forget –
Life is Now. Press Play.