At some point, you’re going to have to give in to being fully you.

At some point, you’re going to have to admit that the reason you break down in tears and streams of emotion every time somebody truly sees even the smallest part of you, is that you’ve for so long refused to see your self,

or allow her.

At some point, you’re going to have to stop. Look around. Eyes wide open. And admit –


Do you HEAR me, God?! I am DONE!

I’m done not claiming what I know is available.
I’m done not claiming what I know is mine.
I’m done not admitting where I’ve been lying to myself.

And most of all,

I’m done not DECIDING to drop the damn mask.

You know –

the one you’ve worn for oh so long,
and it’s built itself around you oh so strong,
and it’s whispering an oh so seductive song to tempt you,


into a life so ordinary
so mundane
so greyscale
so devoid of soul or life

and worst of all,

so not you.

You do know,
(I know you do!)

that you get to live a full colour dialled up to the highest volume and so deeply GROUNDED into truth,

life of being you.

You do know that the hurts. The traumas. The longings. The wishings. The wantings. The one days. The please God WHEN, which you find yourself pleading on repeat,

gets to be done now.

You do know though,
(I know you do!)

that for this to happen?

It will take being bold. It will take audacity. It will take certainty. It will take sitting up straight. It will take looking all the reasons not to squarely in the eye. It will take being willing to oh so calmly,


and certainly,

walk into the fire, and then?

Keep going.

But tell me,

I pray –

Was there some other life you were thinking of living?