You selfish bitch

Do you ever feel like you just can’t help yourself you are SO damn selfish with your time and what you want to be doing?

I can’t tell you how many times a DAY I feel torn between whether to work on my business or spend time playing with my 4 year old daughter or my 6 month old son, or maybe even relaxing with my husband once in a while … and I have to be honest here (even though I’m scared to say this) –

My preference is working on my business. My eyes are covered right now. Please don’t throw things at me! I swear I love love LOVE being a Mum and there is no sweeter sound than that of my kids laughing but full disclosure? There is no sweeter feeling than the satisfaction of knowing I showed up in my business today and I did the work I know I am born to do. And I’m not gonna pretend any longer – I am a workaholic, and proud of it. And you know what else? I am really freaking selfish about getting time for my work.

• I leave the house in a mess most days.
• My bills don’t get paid until I get the reminder notice (not because I don’t wanna pay them, just cause I forget!)
• I have a TON of stuff I’ve been meaning to put on ebay for ages.
• I HATE when my kids or husband or ANYONE speaks to me when I’m working, especially if it’s when I’m writing.
• I will go out of my way to avoid people, situations, meetings and tasks – pretty much to whatever extent I need to – if it means I can get to be alone with my laptop.
• I find small talk EXCRUCIATING because I’d rather be creating in my biz, sending something out there into the world.
• I forget to do things my husband has asked me to do – this is such an issue that our system is now that he emails me a reminder, as that way I am sure to see it!

I could go on and on here, but I don’t want to appear any more of a selfish bitch than what I already am!

But here’s the thing, the thing about being such a god-darn selfish bitch!

Because I am so selfish and INSIST on having my mornings to myself while Enzo looks after the kids from 7-9, I’ve written and published 12 new Amazon books this year in that time.

Because I am so selfish and REFUSE to clean my house or tidy up (actually it’s more like forget or not notice than refuse) I spend an extra hour a day creating new sh*t for my people (that’s you) and launching it, making money and being of service.

Because I am so selfish and I avoid boring social situations like the plague I have an extra 3 or so hours a week which I’ve found is more than enough time to come up with, draft out and launch an entirely new product.

Because I’m so selfish and I deliberately lock myself away from my children and husband for a few hours each afternoon, my new and bright shiny ideas get DONE and then they get marketed, sold, leveraged and dusted.

Because I am so selfish I say no to doing favours or pesky admin tasks and instead act like a prima donna at times in my business and life and as a result my average hourly input is worth in the thousands of dollars rather than $10 an hour.

And because I am so unbelievably selfish, such a god-damn selfish bitch in fact, I have built up an online company that makes anywhere from 30-60k per month, that now allows me to work a total of less than 25 hours a week, that means my family and I could pack up our lives at the drop of a hat last year, move to our current beach-side abode and are taking off in June of this year for a couple years living the laptop lifestyle.

And because I am SUCH a selfish bitch I now don’t have to send my kids to daycare (unless I wanna!) because both Enzo and I work from home and even though I throw a complete and utter tanty if he tries to talk to me when I’m working I work around 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the arvo, maybe a bit more at night at times and in between we are together as a family. Playing, working out, hanging out. Whatever.

And because I am just RIDICULOUSLY selfish I can now choose NOT to work anytime I please.

If I want to spend a day at the beach and having an outing, I can.

If I want to take my daughter on a girls date, I can.

And if I want to hear that sweet sweet sound of her laugh, I can. Any old time I choose.

You might not naturally be a selfish bitch like I am. But I’m guessing that if you’re reading it’s not because you’re aghast at the awfulness that is me.

It’s because you can relate.

Because you are RELIEVED to hear you’re not alone.

Because you need somebody to tell you that you’re NOT a bad Mum, wife, partner or friend and that it doesn’t make you a bad person to want to be alone with your laptop, your ideas, and a never-say-die determination to make your dream business and life HAPPEN.

Because you need somebody to tell you that it’s okay to be a selfish bitch. That it might just not only be OKAY but that it is absolutely NOT okay to not be! Because the truth, the truth that I KNOW you know but yet tell yourself you are just trying to ‘justify’ with, is simple –

Us selfish bitches get sh*t done. We dream big, act fast, think later, and run at a speed so dizzying most can’t even see us let alone try to keep up. We light up the world, spin it on it’s head and then dance on top of it. We leave a wake of devastation in our path at times but if we do we do it in the name of creating something bolder, more beautiful, more transformational than ever existed before. We take risks. We gamble at times with the things that matter most to us – our energy, our sleep, our children for God’s sakes, our partners, and definitely our sanity.

But if we do things that make others raise an eyebrow at how selfish we are it’s because we believe, no we KNOW that in order to create the life we truly dream about for ourselves and for our family we must make choices that many simply won’t make. We must do what others won’t so that we can live like they can’t.